The Color of Your Eyes
by DivineInspiration
Summary: AU. Isabella Swan is a vampire with golden eyes thinking she is alone in a world where her kind all have red eyes. When she meets Carlisle Cullen everything changes and soon they are on a path towards what they thought they would never have; a family.
1. Strangers in the Night

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

**1**

**Strangers in the Night**

The night shift was always my favorite. As a vampire trapped forever in a seventeen year old body my chosen lifestyle could at times be troublesome. – An existence of contradictions in many ways. But at night everything was easier; I never had to be careful around windows with streaming sunlight or coming up with excuses as to why I did not once in a while feel like a breath of fresh air in my break. At night when the hospital was less busy I could get away with a lot more inhuman things, like running silently down the hallways or carrying patients – drugged up of course – instead of waiting for the sleepy orderlies. Sometimes it actually felt natural being who I was – where I was. I cherished those moments.

The hospital in New York was like most other hospitals I had worked at. I had worked at many hospitals because I was forced to move around a lot. With my seventeen year old body I could not pass for someone a lot older than twenty-three. It was frustrating having to pack up and leave every few years, but compared to the love I had for my job, the sacrifice was not big. Helping people instead of killing them was so rewarding.

"Nurse Swan," called the head nurse, Nurse Collins, a tall and busty woman in her forties who always had a look of slight panic on her face. I had never figured out exactly what kept Nurse Collins as busy as she claimed to be. "Would you show Doctor Cullen around, please. I don't have the time to do it myself."

I nodded before the scent reached my nose. I didn't know why I reacted so late, probably because I had never encountered another vampire in a hospital before. But there was no doubt. Doctor Cullen was definitely a vampire – and from the way he had frozen in the doorway, he knew that I was one too. I looked up and gasped out loud when my gaze met a pair of golden eyes instead of the horribly red ones I usually met in my own kind. Thankfully Nurse Collins had hurried off somewhere and was not a witness to the strange meeting.

"Your eyes," I whispered, not able to help myself. "They are like mine. I have never…"

Doctor Cullen visibly relaxed and offered a small but breathtaking smile, though his surprise was as obvious as mine. He was stunning, even for a vampire. He was young and blond and had the kindest look in his eyes. "Indeed, they are," he said softly. "I believe we have a lot to talk about. I take it you have never met anyone who shared your own particular…diet before either?"

I shook her head. Before we could say anything further, we heard two nurses coming our way.

"We will talk later," I whispered before raising my voice to a normal human level.

"I'll show you around the hospital, Doctor Cullen. Please follow me."

Doctor Cullen winked and nodded. "Thank you, Nurse Swan," he replied.

When I left the hospital just before sunrise I was aware that I was being followed. I also knew that it was Doctor Cullen whom I had not seen much off since our meeting last night. All shift I had been preoccupied with thoughts of the amazing miracle it was to run into someone like herself. I had met my fair share of my own kind over the years, but although there was always the feeling of kinship, I had not formed any lasting relationship with anyone. Their choices in diet had been too much of a barrier to break down.

I was an anomaly. I knew it and was greatly satisfied with the fact that I had never tasted human blood. On many levels I was a monster, but whenever I had a choice, I always took the most human way. So I only drank blood from animals, rationalizing that if I had been human I would have eaten meat anyway. And now I had met another anomaly. Doctor Cullen. It was nothing short of a miracle.

Instead of going to the small room I rented, I turned towards the woods outside the city. With impeccable timing I reached the first trees just as the sun rose. Doctor Cullen caught up with me easily when I took off running knowing that a conversations like the one we were about to have could not take place anywhere near human ears.

I stopped in a small clearing where small beams of sunlight shone through the tree crowns, sparkling occasionally on my skin.

"Nurse Swan," Doctor Cullen greeted me with a smile.

"Call me Bella," I said and sat down on a boulder, looking at him expectantly. I couldn't get enough of the feeling in my long-dead heart when I looked into his golden eyes. I had only dreamed of this day, never expecting it to happen.

"I'm Carlisle." He sat down across from me on a fallen tree covered in moss. "So Bella, I must say that I have never been more delighted to meet someone. In all my years I have never as much as heard about anyone with the same diet as myself."

"I know what you mean," I breathed heartfelt. "The moment I saw your eyes…" I trailed of and laughed as the happiness bubbled over within me. I was elated but felt a little silly. I didn't know Carlisle Cullen, but it felt like I did. Carlisle laughed too, fortunately.

"May I ask about your story?" He asked when the sudden laughter had died out, leaving only wide smiles in it's wake. "I will of course share my own in return."

I nodded. "I was born in Pasadena in Houston, Texas in 1853. My memory of my human years is a bit hazy, but I do remember that I had two brothers and a sister who were all older than me. I was changed in 1870 when I was seventeen. It was all very confusing when I woke up after the transformation. The vampire who had changed me told me that I had been changed to be part of an army, but he sent me on my way after telling me that he felt that I didn't belong there. I still don't know what he meant exactly, but I did learn afterwards that he saved me from a no doubt cruel fate in the territorial wars in the south." I paused, shaking off my first memories as a vampire.

"I have been on my own the whole time," I continued. "Obviously I have met a lot of our kind over the years but since none of them shared my dislike of hurting humans I never really bothered with them. I practiced my restraint and finally managed to use the nursing training I had before I was changed. I have been working in different hospitals the last twenty years. I have never tasted human blood."

"Our stories are a lot alike," said Carlisle. "I was born before you though, in London in the 1640s. But like you I was alone after my change and decided that I was not going to feed on humans. Ironically I was hunting the vampire who changed me – my father was a priest and had me lead chases after all kinds of evil," he gave a short laugh. "I wanted to make up for being a monster, so I studied medicine and like you I practiced my restraint. It took a long time, but I finally accomplished it and have been working as a doctor ever since."

"We really are alike," I mused.

Carlisle nodded. "It's been a dream of mine for so long – to actually look into a pair of golden eyes and know that I wasn't alone in the world. The loneliness wears on one after a while."

We sat in the clearing and talked most of the day. It wasn't as if we needed any sleep before having to go back to work anyway. We shared experiences from the hospital we had worked at, as well as encounters with others of their kind.

I felt as if the loneliness I had been battling with my entire existence as a vampire was slowly fading. I knew most vampires had mates or lived in small covens, and although I knew Carlisle would never be my mate, I couldn't help but hope that we would stay together. I was by no means ready to let go of the only one truly like myself I had ever met.

***

The days passed much faster than before. I had lived only for my work for a long time, after meeting Carlisle my free time was much more pleasant. The gossiping nurses at the hospital had quickly picked up on the fact that the handsome new doctor was spending his time with the young Nurse Swan, so we had come up with a story claiming that he was my long lost uncle. It was obvious that not all believed our story, though.

"Do you have a power?" I asked one day during a hunting trip in the woods. We had taken to hunting together and the hunting trips always included much conversation, something we both enjoyed after many years of loneliness.

"No," Carlisle answered. "I would probably not have been allowed to leave Volterra if I did." At my questioning look, he elaborated. "I spent time there years ago. Italy had the best medical schools back when I had left England behind. I learned a lot about our kind there."

"I've heard about the Volturi," I said carefully.

"You need not worry, Bella," Carlisle said, stopping and looking seriously at me. "If my loyalty lies anywhere, it's with you. I know we have only known each other for a short time, but I believe we were meant to meet. Two pairs of golden eyes in a world of red eyed vampires should stand together, don't you think?"

I nodded and relaxed, eager to trust him. "I have two powers," I confessed.

"Two? That is extraordinary," Carlisle said. "I have never heard of a vampire with two powers before. Be careful, Bella. The Volturi would be most interested in having you join them if they knew."

I nodded, already knowing as much and then proceeded to explain my powers to prove that I trusted him. "I can shield other vampires' powers as well as accelerate them. Like for instance, I met a telepath once whom I could block so his power didn't work on me. I could also accelerate it though, making it much stronger. So I don't really have an active power that I can use without others around."

Carlisle looked fascinated, but turned serious. "Stay far away from the Volturi, Bella. – And never flaunt your powers. Sometimes they don't ask nicely when they are recruiting for the Guard."

I would keep that in mind.


	2. The Windy City

Thank you to wizziewoo123 and Blushing Bella18 for the reviews. :)

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

**2**

**The Windy City**

I had been in New York for almost four years. I had claimed to be nineteen when I took the job at the hospital, so I was currently posing for a twenty-three year old. I had already gotten a few remarks about how young I looked, so I knew it was time to move on. I was reluctant though, which was why I had drawn it out as long as I had. Carlisle had only been at the hospital for a year, so he would most likely want to stay another while. I was dreading leaving him. He was the only friend I had ever had, at least as a vampire – my human years were hazy at best, so I couldn't really remember what my life had been like then. But he was more than that, he was family – in many ways he was my father. Staying would mean people getting even more suspicious, though.

"Carlisle," I broached the subject one evening at his house. We had been discussing the advantages of our supersensitive sense of smell as a diagnostic tool, and Carlisle, being the methodic man that he was, was taking notes. - Notes that he would no doubt destroy later because of their suspicious nature.

"Hmm?"

"I can't stay in New York much longer," I said, making him look up. "I'm already posing as a twenty-three year old. I think that's the limit of what people are willing to believe."

He studied me carefully as if he was seeing me for the first time. "Yes, you are probably right. Where should we go?"

I positively beamed at his words. He looked at me strangely for a moment before shaking his head and laughing. "You didn't think I'd come with you?"

"Well…you have only been here a short time," I said. "You probably wouldn't have to leave for another four or five years."

"True," he admitted. "But I enjoy your company a great deal too much to just let you leave. I apologize if this sounds strange or offensive in some way, Bella, but in many ways I feel as if you are my daughter."

Had I been human, I would have been crying. And by the looks of it, so would he. Something clicked into place right then and we both felt it. I hugged him so hard that it would easily have crushed a human.

***

And so we left New York. We chose to relocate to Chicago where I became Isabella Cullen, younger sister of Carlisle Cullen. Though we looked nothing alike, we pulled it off with our paleness and our golden eyes. He was in no way old enough to pass as my father, even though that was in reality more the way our relationship worked. It was strange how I suddenly relied on another being after so many years alone, and it must have been even stranger for Carlisle as he had been a vampire much longer than me.

We bought an old farm in the outskirts of the city. It was conveniently located at the edge of a large forest, so we could practically hunt right outside our backdoor.

We both started working at a hospital in the city, Carlisle as a doctor and me as a nurse. In our free time we found that Chicago had a lot to offer and we discovered new things that we had in common. We spent rainy afternoons exploring museums, went digging through vampire legends at the library – laughing at most of them – and spent evenings at the opera or at the theater. We always went hunting together, usually at night, and spent countless of hours talking about the best way for vampires such as ourselves to live among humans.

One night Carlisle and I were walking home from the opera when we caught two familiar scents – human blood and a vampire. We looked at each other. It wasn't an unusual thing to encounter someone of our own kind, but it was the first one we had run into after meeting each other in New York.

Knowing that the other vampire would catch our scents too, we went to say hello – or at least make sure that it wasn't someone who would attack us later. We had both met hostile kinsmen, among our kind territory was important and we walked a narrow line at times, trying to maintain a permanent residency right in the middle of someone's hunting grounds.

We caught up with the strange vampire out near the edge of the city. The vampire was a male, a little older than Carlisle with black hair touching his shoulders and a smile that looked more like a smirk. His eyes were of course ruby red.

"Greetings on this fine evening," he said, casually looking us over.

"Good evening," said Carlisle and I nodded my head.

He looked backwards for a brief second. "I would have shared if I knew you were coming," he smirked. I noticed a hint of an Irish accent in his voice.

"That's all right," Carlisle assured him, glancing at me with the ghost of a smile on his lips. "We had our fill just last night."

The stranger nodded. "My name is Stephen," he said. The casual way he had been looking us over had changed when he noticed the color of our eyes. "I'm passing through here on my way south."

Carlisle held out his hand. "I'm Carlisle," he said before gesturing to me. "And this is Isabella. We live here in Chicago."

"Live here?" He asked before obviously remembering his manners. He shook Carlisle's hand.

"Yes," Carlisle confirmed. "That's the way we prefer to live."

Stephen looked like he was trying to hide his confusion. Then he abruptly started laughing. "That's right, you did say your name was Carlisle. Aro mentioned you and your…particular ways. He just never said anything about your mate."

I tensed. Carlisle obviously noticed because he grabbed my hand and squeezed it in an attempt to reassure me. "So you know Aro?" he said conversationally. He seemed relaxed but I knew he wasn't.

Stephen nodded. "I spent some time in Volterra…" His next words were blurred as some kind of invisible force struck me from above. It felt like a house had landed on my head, the blow ripping my senses from me leaving me crippled. I felt Carlisle's touch, but I couldn't see him, nor hear him. Not familiar with having to protect myself from others, it took a few moments before I remembered to use my shield.

The relief was instant. My senses returned immediately and I found myself on the ground with Carlisle crouched in a defensive position in front of me. Stephen was in a similar position but his face showed shock when I jumped up, crouching next to Carlisle. Stephen's gaze turned to Carlisle again and within seconds he was on the ground as I had been with a strange disorientated look on his glorious features. I snarled and with a little effort extended my shield to cover him too.

Stephen roared furiously and attacked me before Carlisle had time to get up. I had very little experience in fighting, but my instincts quickly overpowered all my insecurities.

The fight was brief. Between Carlisle and I it took a few minutes before our opponent was dismembered. I ran the few miles to our home to fetch some matches and when I came back, we burned the vampire parts. It was the first time I had been a part of something like that, and my gaze was shaky when it met Carlisle's. He gave me a hug as we watched the fire.

"I'm sorry we had to do that," he said. "He would have reported back to the Volturi about your power if we had let him leave, though."

"I didn't think before I shielded myself," I said weakly.

"Don't apologize, honey," he said. "We don't know what he might have done if you hadn't used your shield. He might have killed us."

The fire burned out quickly, and when it did we left. I was still shook up as we walked through the forest at a human pace.

"I didn't know your shield was powerful enough to shield others than yourself," Carlisle said after a while. He was still holding my hand for which I was grateful because instead of seeing the forest I kept seeing flames and dismembered body parts.

"Neither did I," I admitted. "But I guess I don't really know the full potential of my powers since I rarely have a chance of using them."

***

"Do you think we will ever meet anyone else with golden eyes like ours?" I asked Carlisle the next night. We had been reading in comfortable silence for hours, but my mind had wandered off in the middle of the medical journal Carlisle had recommended me. I thought about how earth shatteringly different our meeting with Stephen had been compared to when I had met Carlisle.

Carlisle looked up from his own journal. "I would say that it's highly unlikely, but I would have said the same before you and I met, so…" he gave me a brilliant smile. "I guess that's the good thing about the future – anything might happen."

I nodded thoughtfully, absentmindedly swinging my leg as it dangled over the armrest on the chair I was sprawled across.

"I will admit something though," Carlisle interrupted my thoughts after a moment. "I considered changing someone before we met. Not someone in particular, but just so that I would have a companion. The loneliness was wearing on me."

"Do you still think you might change someone?" I asked. I was a little intrigued because I would most likely be too afraid to ever do it. Being around human blood was one thing, but actually taste it was another. I was afraid I wouldn't be strong enough to stop.

"Well, as a physician I do admit that the transformation fascinates me to a certain degree, but you, my dear, have satiated my need for a companion. It's a big step too though, and not to be taken lightly."

"Wouldn't you be afraid of not being able to control yourself?"

"Yes, of course," he replied seriously. "That is the disadvantage we have, not having tasted human blood. We don't know how exactly how strong the effect is."

"I would probably to too afraid to try," I admitted. "And I hope I never taste human blood."


	3. A Glimpse of Forever

Thank you to shadowXxxnightfoxx, wizziewoo123 and CullenGrl255 for the reviews. :)

Disclamier: I do not own Twilight.

**3**

**A Glimpse of Forever**

The Spanish Flu reached Chicago and being a vampire suddenly turned out to be divine. Carlisle and I were in no danger of getting sick and with a little bit of acting we got away with pulling a lot more hours than the rest of the staff. As hard as we worked, there was little we could do for the patients, though. Their fevers burned in their bodies, and although a cool hand against hot skin would offer a moment of relief, too many died and even more suffered.

Since my transformation from human to vampire, nothing had altered my life as much as meeting Carlisle's golden eyes that fateful day in New York. I was also under the impression that the only thing that could jolt my world that way again would be if I met another golden gaze. I was wrong, however, because one rainy morning three weeks into the flu epidemic when I was admitting a group of those triaged as being the sickest to the wards, I felt my world stop for second.

I was in the middle of the hallway, supporting the weight of a middle-aged woman who was barely conscious while waiting for an orderly to find a gurney when my gaze locked with two wide emerald green eyes shining with fever, but oddly clear. I nearly dropped the woman in my arms, but was saved by someone blocking my view for a few seconds. When my view was clear again, there were no green eyes looking back at me and I simply hadn't gotten a look at who they belonged to.

I was dazed and my brain was refusing to obey me. I felt like I had collided with something as solid as myself and I couldn't shake the dizzy sensation off that had invaded my body. I was uncharacteristically shaken as I resumed my work, almost laughing at myself when I thought about how many times I had wished I was human – and now, here I was acting exactly like one.

A little later I learned who the green eyes belonged to. I was tending to one of the newest flu patients who asked me to check up on her son, who was sick and had come with her to the hospital. Elizabeth Masen was a woman whose presence alone drew people in with almost vampiric tendencies. She was not particularly pretty or beautiful, but even in her weakened state she seemed to radiate warmth and a pureness that was both calming and soothing. She was petite with honey-golden hair and green eyes. – Green eyes just like her son.

I hesitated at the foot of the bed. His name was Edward his mother had told me when she asked me to check on him. She had also told me that her husband had already died from the flu and that her only reason for fighting now was Edward.

His mesmerizing green eyes were closed in sleep. He was pale as everyone else in the hospital and there was no doubt that he was seriously ill. But he was still unbearably beautiful – unruly bronze hair slightly damp and sticking to his forehead, high pale cheekbones and full lips moving ever so slightly as he slept restlessly.

I could not believe the feelings that shot through me, nor could I even start to explain them.

Days passed by. I tried my best not to draw attention to the fact that I spent more time with Elizabeth and Edward than with the other patients. I could not tear myself away from either of them. Even when my shifts had ended hours ago, Carlisle would often find me with Elizabeth listening to her telling childhood stories of Edward or merely sitting with Edward while he slept. Carlisle never said anything which was a good thing because I would have no answers to his questions.

"Nurse Swan?" I was exiting Edward's room, believing him to be asleep, but I smiled when I heard his voice and turned around.

"I already told you, my name is Bella," I said. We had been through this countless times.

"Bella," he smiled crookedly, dazzling me to an extent where I had to remind myself to snap out of it.

"What can I do for you, Mr. Masen?"

The crooked smile disappeared and he scowled playfully before he started coughing. "It's Edward," he managed.

I poured a glass of water and helped him take a few sips. He smiled gratefully as he fell back against the pillows. "How is my mother?" he asked.

"Last I checked she was sleeping peacefully," I replied. "Her fever is still high, though."

"Thanks for taking care of her," he said.

I refrained from reminding him that it was my job, knowing that it had probably not escaped him that I was spending more time with him than the other nurses did. "You should get some rest," I said instead.

"Do you need to leave?" he asked, a hint of a crooked smile appearing on his face again.

I looked at my watch seeing that my shift had ended ten minutes earlier. "No," I smiled. "Do you want me to read to you?"

"Please," he replied and started coughing again. Once he had calmed down again, he was asleep before I could find the book I had been reading to him occasionally. I stayed with him anyway.

Three days later I paused outside the room where Elizabeth was spending her last moments alive. I heard Carlisle calming the woman down.

"Please Doctor Cullen," she pleaded softly, but I still heard every word. "Help my son. You must save him."

"It's all right, Mrs. Masen," Carlisle reassured her. "I will do whatever I can for Edward."

"You have to save him," Elizabeth repeated, and I almost gasped out loud, oddly sure there was more to the sentence than the few innocent words. I fled and soon found myself at Edward's bedside. He was whimpering in his uneasy sleep, and I held a cold cloth to his forehead. He was so beautiful. – And so young. He deserved to live a long, full life. And yet I knew he wouldn't get the chance. I had seen enough of this horrible flu to know that Edward would die.

Carlisle joined me a moment later, absently rubbing his forehead. "She won't live to see the sunrise," he sighed, speaking too softly for anyone but me to hear. "Keep her comfortable, please."

I nodded. "Carlisle…"

"Yes?"

"Her plea…it sounded like she _knew_!" I hissed, unable to stop myself from getting worked up. It irritated me because I was usually good at keeping a distance to my patients.

Carlisle nodded. "We must be imagining things, though. There is no way she can know."

"Are you going to…?" I asked, biting my lip in a very human way, suddenly feeling vulnerable.

Carlisle's head whipped up. "Bella…" he breathed, hesitating for a long time. "It's tempting," he finally admitted. "But would it really be saving him? Do we not both feel condemned?"

"I used to feel that, yes," I replied very softly. "But not so much after meeting you. And Edward…" I trailed off and looked at his sleeping form unable to hide the tenderness I felt towards him.

Carlisle squeezed my shoulder. "My shift ends in ten minutes. Help me get him out of here and then go tend to his mother. Reassure her without revealing anything."

I did what Carlisle told me to, my body functioning as usual, but my mind miles away. I went to Elizabeth's room and changed the cold compress on her forehead. I sat with her, holding her hand and telling her that Edward would be fine. She never opened her eyes, though, and died within the hour. I wished desperately that I could have produced tears because it felt as if I owed it to her. She had just given me her son.

My shift dragged on, but finally someone sent me home claiming that I looked like someone who needed to sleep. I nodded gratefully and raced home as fast as I could on the deserted back roads.

I heard Edward's pain filled screams before I reached the house, along with Carlisle's calm voice telling him that the pain would end soon. I wished with everything I had that it indeed would be soon.

Carlisle had placed Edward on the couch, and I kneeled down next to it, not planning to leave before Edward was in no more pain. I placed my cold hand on his burning forehead and he let out s strangled moan.

"Did anyone notice that he was gone?" Carlisle asked.

I shook my head. "Elizabeth died soon after you left. I reassured her, but she never woke up."

"Well, at least she's at peace now," Carlisle said softly. "And she got her wish although I doubt she meant it as literally as we have taken it."

I didn't say anything. There was nothing I could say.

"There is something in your eyes when you look at him," Carlisle observed softly while I was stroking my cold hand across Edward's forehead, trying to cool the burning within him.

"I guess there is…" I said, not editing my thoughts as I spoke them. "I don't know exactly what I feel, but I do feel something…"

"It's okay, you don't have to say anything," Carlisle reassured me.

Edward let out a strangled cry of pain, and I was distracted a few minutes before returning my attention to Carlisle after Edward had quieted down again.

"You've never found a mate?" I asked.

Carlisle shook his head. "There was someone a few years before you and I met, though. - A young human girl who came into the hospital where I worked with a broken leg. Nothing could come of it, of course, but I have never forgotten her." He was silent for a long time. "Until I met you I was sure I was destined to be alone for all eternity. But now it feels like I have a family."

"You know you do," I told him, making him smile.

***

Sitting with Edward through his painful transformation was as painful as what I remembered from my own transformation. His beautiful face was scrunched up in pain and I could do nothing to ease it. I would tell him that the pain would end soon and I would keep his forehead and his cheeks cool with my cold hands, but I couldn't be sure if he even registered that I was there. Near the end I heard his heart beat accelerating and I looked at Carlisle even though I knew that he probably knew as little about the actual transformation process as I did.

He was frowning but came over and placed his hand on my shoulder in silent reassurance. He went outside as I had requested to talk to Edward alone, and Carlisle understood.

Then Edward's heart stopped. I tensed. After what seemed like hours but probably only were seconds he opened his eyes. They were blood-red, of course. I watched as he sat up and took in the surroundings and offered the most reassuring smile I could muster when his eyes finally settled on me. Recognition flashed in the red orbs, which was something at least.

"Hi Edward," I said softly, not wanting to scare him. "I'm Bella. Do you remember me from the hospital?"

He looked at me for a moment before nodding. "You are a nurse. - Nurse Swan."

"That's right," I said, unsure about how to proceed. "Edward, I need you to listen to me for a minute. What I am about to tell you may not make sense at first, but please hear me out, okay?"

He nodded again.

"Thank you," I breathed. "You may remember being very sick at the hospital. You were dying, in fact, and your mother begged Doctor Cullen to save you. – Which he did. But…the only way to save you was for him to…" I hesitated, knowing the next words out of my mouth would sound utterly ridiculous to him, but there was no way I could sugarcoat the truth. "…to turn you into a vampire."


	4. Hear You Me

A big thanks to bazookawhat, wizziewoo123 and CullenGrl255 for the reviews. You guys are great. :)

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

**4**

**Hear You Me**

I watched Edward freeze.

"I know," I quickly said. "It doesn't sound like it can be real. But I'm afraid it is…"

Edward pinched the bridge of his nose. He opened his mouth several times, but he closed it again before he could say anything. Finally it seemed like he found the right words. "I'm a vampire?

"Yes."

"_You're _a vampire?" he asked.

"Yes."

"And by vampire you mean…what exactly?" he asked.

I was surprised at how calm he was, but prepared myself for some kind of delayed reaction. "By vampire I mean an immortal being who has superior strength and heightened senses. You can't sleep, you don't need to breathe and you don't age. And yes, as you are probably wondering, our diet does consist of blood. Doctor Cullen and I are different from other vampires, though. We only hunt and drink blood from animals, not humans."

"Well…that's…something, I guess," he said, confusion and disbelief flooding his face.

"I'm really sorry, Edward. I wish there was a gentler way to tell you."

He suddenly looked very distracted and I remembered that his thirst must be killing him. "Let me go get Carlisle. You need to hunt," I said.

"Is that him talking outside?" Edward asked.

"Talking?" I listened but heard nothing.

"Yes, he seems to be talking to himself," Edward insisted.

Frowning I went to the door and opened it. Carlisle was standing right outside, shaking his head. "I haven't said a word," he said.

I shrugged, not knowing what to make of it. "Edward, this is Carlisle. You may remember him from the hospital."

"Hello Edward," Carlisle greeted him. Edward said nothing, though. He looked wide-eyed at Carlisle, confusion blazing from his entire being.

"Edward," I said softly, wondering if this was the delayed shock I had been expecting from him. "What is wrong?"

"I…he…" Edward shook his head and pinched the bridge of his nose. "How can I hear you when you're not talking?" he asked, looking at Carlisle still.

"What do you mean, son?" Carlisle asked gently.

"You keep wondering if you made the right decision turning me into a vampire. I hear it, but yet…you don't say it," Edward explained helplessly. He suddenly looked at me pleadingly as if I held all the answers.

I sat down next to him and grabbed his hand. "Do you hear me too when I'm not actually saying anything?"

He shook his head.

I looked at Carlisle. "Were you thinking about whether or not it was the right thing to turn Edward into a vampire?"

Realization dawned on Carlisle's face. "Yes, I was."

Edward looked at Carlisle too. "Yes," he said. "- But how? Is that some kind of vampire thing?"

I sighed exasperated, now fully aware that Edward could read Carlisle's thoughts but slightly annoyed at their one-sided conversation that I was not in on. I was however pleased that my shield appeared to keep Edward from reading my thoughts. I would have revealed too much that I was not yet ready to reveal.

"Sorry, Bella," Carlisle grinned. "I was just telling Edward how we appear to bring with us our most prominent traits with us enhanced into out vampire existences. You must have been sensitive to people's thoughts somehow, Edward."

Edward looked distracted again and I glared at Carlisle, thinking he was bombarding Edward with theories in his mind. It wasn't it, though.

"My throat is burning," Edward said. "Is _that_ normal?"

"Very," I assured him. "Let's go hunting."

Carlisle and I took Edward hunting in the forest surrounding the house. He had good natural instincts and looked a lot more relaxed once his thirst was quenched. He asked a million questions and we did our best to answer them. He was distracted the whole time that much was obvious. I knew Carlisle did his best to keep his mind clear, but it was clear that the whole situation was going to take some getting used to for both of them.

I was a little worried about Edward, having to deal not only with the fact that he was a vampire, but on top of that forced to listen to the thoughts of anyone near him. I thanked whatever higher power that might be listening for my own mental shield that kept my thoughts private.

"Why can I only hear Carlisle's thoughts and not yours?" Edward asked as we approached the house after the hunt.

"I have a power, well two actually, too," I answered. "I can either shield or accelerate others' powers. The shield works on several levels. The part that shields my mind from your power is always in effect without me doing anything. Other times, with more physical powers, I have to set my mind to actually put up the shield."

"Please never accelerate this mind reading power of mine," he groaned.

Acceptance came slow for Edward. I didn't blame him, and neither did Carlisle for that matter, but I did worry. Sometimes when he was particularly frustrated fear would engulf me in ice cold waves. I didn't know how I would get through eternity with Edward blaming me for damning him. He never did say the words, but it didn't make it easier when he put on a fake smile.

He also had difficulties with the grief he felt for the mother he had a lot of trouble remembering. I knew how frustrating it was since I didn't remember much about my own family either. I knew too that they had to be dead, but I had accepted it. Everything was still too fresh and raw for Edward.

I quit my job at the hospital once the flu epidemic had worn off. Carlisle and I had discussed it once we saw how all the time he spent alone affected Edward – he simply had too much time to over-think everything. Carlisle offered to quit his job and stay home, but he let me do it when I pointed out that Edward would probably appreciate the quietness that was my mind.

Edward still hadn't been in close contact with humans since it was much too risky with him being a newborn vampire. We had, however, discovered that he could read thoughts from a distance too. He only had to be a in a two-mile radius of the road off of which the lane to our house tumbled through the forest. – And it would overwhelm him to an extent where I felt my dead heart breaking. The first time he fell to his knees and clutched his head while he begged for it to stop.

And then there were the times he seemed perfectly happy. – Like the first time he was out in clear sunlight. I had heard him gasp behind me and when I turned around I saw him staring at me.

"You…you're _sparkling_!"

I had laughed and made him look at his own skin. That had made him gasp again before he started laughing too. His laugh was such an addictive sound and I wished I could listen to it forever.

Edward was by no means a typical crazed newborn whose only thoughts were about blood. We were still not taking any chances by bringing him in contact with humans, but that was also partly due to the fact that we didn't want him overwhelmed with having to listen to too many minds at a time.

"It's nice when we're alone," Edward confessed one day. We had taken to broadening our horizons together, and we were on the subject of Greek mythology.

"Don't get me wrong," he continued quickly. "I like Carlisle, but it's just so peaceful when it's just the two of us. It's difficult to ignore thoughts when they are as loud as if they had been spoken out loud."

"Maybe it will get easier," I said. "When you get used to your power you will probably be able to tune out most of it."

"I hope so. Right now I can't imagine being anywhere near a crowd. It's bad enough trying to give Carlisle a little privacy. I feel like I'm trespassing."

I suppressed a smile. Only Edward would blame himself for something that would never be his fault.

"He understands, you know," I assured him.

"I know," Edward sighed, running a hand through his messy hair. "There is probably very little that I don't know about Carlisle and that's wrong. I should only know what he tells me."

"Edward, please stop blaming yourself for something you have no control over," I begged.

"I'm not making any promises," he grumbled. Then he suddenly looked at me with a victorious smile. "Carlisle once thought about an encounter you had with another vampire, a black haired guy who attacked you somehow. You shielded both yourself and Carlisle from the attack, right?"

I nodded, unsure about why he was bringing it up.

"Could you shield Carlisle's mind from my power too?" he asked.

"I hadn't thought about that," I admitted. "But I should be able to. We'll try it when he comes home from the hospital." I mentally hit myself for not thinking about it myself, but then I noticed Edward tense beside me.

"Edward?"

"I hear someone," he said slowly.

"Carlisle?" I asked.

He shook his head. "No, there are…three I think." He frowned as he listened. "I think they are other vampires. They know we are here and they are wondering if they are on our hunting ground or not."

I groaned, thinking back to my last encounter with a strange vampire. Meeting Stephen had been very unpleasant and if they were hostile Edward and I would be outnumbered, plus neither of us had any real fighting experience. If it came to a fight I hoped my shield would somehow be enough.

"We might as well go out and meet them since they already know we're here," I sighed. Edward followed me outside, clearly unsure about how to react. I was too, but I tried to hide it.

I smelled them immediately and we walked at a human pace in the direction they were coming.

"They seem…unsure about how to confront us," Edward whispered. "At least one of them wants to attack." He hesitated. "How do vampires fight?"

I wished desperately that Carlisle had been with us. "If it does come to a fight," I said, not knowing exactly what to tell Edward. "Just…use your power to try and stay one step ahead of your opponent. Instinct will no doubt take care of the rest. I will shield us if they have any powers."

Edward nodded and a few minutes later we could see the three strange vampires through the trees. They were all males and all had the expected red eyes. The one who appeared to be the leader was tall, dark haired and incredibly graceful. The vampire on his right was rather short and had dirty blonde hair. He wore a smirk that made me very uncomfortable. The last one was blonde too, only fairer than the first. Whereas the other two wore normal nondescript clothes, the third one looked rather peculiar in an old and faded blue suit.

"Hello," I said boldly once they were ten feet away from Edward and I.

"Greetings, little lady," the tall dark one said, nodding his head in what appeared to be a mocking way.

I forced myself to be relaxed, especially since Edward was extremely tense beside me.

"Apologies if we are on your hunting ground. We didn't know if anyone was in the area," the dark stranger spoke again.

"We maintain a permanent residence here, so we would appreciate if you didn't stir up things too much," I replied.

The strangers looked at each other, clearly not understanding. They seemed to let it go then. "Perhaps you can help us, then," the leader said. "We are looking for an old friend of ours who was supposed to pass through here a while ago. His name is Stephen. He seems to have…disappeared."

I fought to control my emotions and shook my head slowly. "We have only been here a few years," I said. "You are the first of our kind we have met here, so I'm afraid we can't help you locate your friend." We were practically standing right next to the spot where Carlisle and I had burned Stephen and I was terrified it would somehow be obvious to them.

"Oh well," the dark one said, smirking. "I had to ask."

I nodded.

"Well, we won't keep you any longer. Good day," he nodded his head in that mocking way again and they turned around and disappeared the way they had come.

Edward and I stayed where we were. I risked a whisper to ask Edward if they had believed my answer about their friend. He turned to look at me and nodded. I exhaled slowly and motioned for Edward to stay put. I ran into the forest in the direction the strangers had disappeared off into to make sure they were really gone. Their smell still lingered, but I was confident that they had really gone.

I turned back and ran straight to Edward and hugged him. He seemed surprised but didn't hesitate to put his arms around me.

"Are you absolutely sure they believed me?" I asked.

"Yes, they were genuinely disappointed," he replied. "Why? Were you not telling the truth?"

I pulled back from his embrace and we started walking back towards the house. "No, I wasn't. Carlisle and _did_ run into their friend. He was the one you saw in Carlisle's mind. – The one I used my shield on after he attacked us. We had to…kill him."

"Oh."

I couldn't help but wonder what Edward thought of me, knowing I had helped kill someone. I also longed for Carlisle to come home. I believed what Edward had heard from their thoughts, but I was still nervous that the strangers would be back and somehow find out the truth.


	5. The Sound of Silence

Thank you, taj14 for your review. :)

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

**5**

**The Sound of Silence**

"Ah, blessed silence," Edward breathed heartfelt, stretching lazily on the couch. I laughed with Carlisle, shielding both of our minds from Edward's power.

"I didn't know my mind was so boring to listen to," Carlisle teased.

"Oh, it's not," Edward assured him, winking. "In fact it's very interesting, especially when you think I'm not listening. But silence really is underrated."

"I think I need to figure out a way to block you on my own," Carlisle chuckled.

"Good luck with that," Edward laughed. "Bella, I officially love your shielding power."

"It is very lovable," I nodded with a smirk at which Edward stuck out his tongue. I laughed.

"Children," Carlisle interrupted with a smirk of his own. He was taking his paternal role more and more seriously these days. "I was thinking that maybe we should take a trip into the city later today. I think Edward is ready for a glimpse of civilization again."

"Really?" Edward made no attempt to hide his excitement.

Carlisle nodded. "I am actually more worried about how you will handle your power than your thirst," he said.

"I'm worried about both," Edward admitted. "I will do anything not to let you down, though. You know that, right?"

Both Carlisle and I nodded. I voiced a concern of my own, however. "Is it wise right now with the strangers lurking around looking for Stephen?"

"I haven't come across their scent in town," Carlisle replied. "And they seem to be gone from the forest as well. I think it will be safe enough."

The afternoon approached with a light drizzle. It was perfect for Edward's first time in public as a vampire because there would not be too many people out. He walked between Carlisle and I as we walked through the outskirts of the city. It wasn't voiced, but silently understood that we would grab hold of him if his thirst got the better of him.

He seemed very determent. His jaw was set and his breathing controlled. Carlisle had advised him to try and tune out all the thoughts he would be bombarded with, and he was succeeding fairly well because be barely looked distracted at all.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

He nodded. "Between the blazing fire in my throat and the screaming contest in my head, I'm just great." He grimaced slightly. "But it's okay. If it doesn't get any worse, I'll be fine."

"You're doing great, son," Carlisle said. "And it will get easier."

"So you keep saying," Edward allowed. "I'm more amazed than ever that you are both able to work at hospitals, though."

"One step at a time," Carlisle replied. "I have no doubt that you could become a doctor someday too if you wanted. With your will power your only problem would be your appearance. You look a little too young to practice medicine."

"You have too much faith in me," Edward sighed, grimacing again as we walked by a large group of people on the opposite side of the road.

I found that the days flew by when I was spending time with Edward. As soon as the sun rose it would be setting and I would have no idea where all the hours had gone, only that I had spent most of the time smiling and laughing. After a while we went into town alone when Carlisle was working and Edward got better and better at handling his thirst and all the voices in his head. At least that was how I saw it, but apparently he did not realize how well he was coping with it all.

One day, however, he almost lost control over himself. We were walking into town when I felt him tense beside me. I placed my hand on his arm as he growled under his breath. His gaze was fixed on a man and a woman ten feet in front of us.

"Edward," I said softly, but kept my voice firm. I knew I had to rely on my words alone because he was much stronger than me and I would never be able to physically stop him if he lost control.

He growled a little louder.

"Edward, stop," I said. "Snap out of it. We are going to turn back now."

Edward stopped. He was still tense and his eyes were locked intently on the couple that was now a little further away from us.

"Edward! Let's go back."

He imitated a statue for the longest time while I stood beside him clutching his arm waiting for him to snap out of it. – And he finally did after the couple had rounded a corner up ahead. He let out a deep breath, his knees buckling. I wrapped my arms around his waist to keep him on his feet. I looked up at his face. His eyes were still closed and his angelic features were twisted in pain and I wished with everything in me that I could make a smile appear on his face.

When I was sure Edward was not going to collapse, I gently steered him back out of town. I whispered to him to hold his breath and then I led him towards the forest. Once safely away from anything even remotely human, I grabbed his hand in mine and ran in the direction of a herd of deer. We had hunted the previous night but Edward needed it.

He drained three deer before he slumped down on a fallen three next to me. "I am so sorry," he breathed.

"You did not do anything. You stopped yourself before you lost control."

He shook his head miserably. "I didn't. You stopped me." He hesitated. "And his thoughts stopped me."

"The man?"

"Yes," he confirmed. "His blood smelled _so_ sweet. Sweeter than anything else. Couldn't you smell it?"

I shook my head, surprised. "All my focus was on you."

"I only stopped because of you. - And because I heard his thoughts. He is going to propose to his girlfriend, the woman he was with. I couldn't ruin that…"

"Every human has family, friends, people they love and who loves them. It is a good reminder for us," I sighed.

"But I was so close, Bella. So painfully close." Pain leaked from his voice and I reached out and hugged him.

"I told myself a long time ago that close does not count," I told him. "I have been close too, just as close as you were today. But nothing happened – not then and not now. We cannot blame ourselves for something that did not happen."

But Edward looked like that was exactly what he intended to do.

***

"I don't understand how you do it," Edward said frustrated one day. He was easily frustrated these days, working hard to keep his thirst at bay. I was pretty sure he had forgiven himself for his little episode in town, though.

"Do what, son?" Carlisle asked. He lowered the newspaper he had been reading and gave Edward his full attention. I had my nose buried in a book but looked up as well, reluctantly letting go of the amazing feeling it was to have my eyes sweep over the pages at vampire speed, although still imprinting each word carefully in my mind. I loved it, it was as exhilarating as running full speed through the forest.

"How you spend your days surrounded by humans and blood without being affected at all," Edward said, running a hand through his mess of a hair. "It just feels like I am never going to be able to relax around humans and if I can't relax I can't coexist with them."

"You are hardly being fair to yourself. Restraint takes years, decades even, to accomplice," Carlisle told him. "I know full well that our way of existing is hard. Always going against your natural instincts wears on your will but for me personally the reward of having a clear conscience as well as being able to live the way I want makes it all worth it. It is all a choice and you cannot make the choice until you know what is important to you."

"That is kind of frustrating too. I need you reminding me that I am able to do this but you both managed to make the right choice independently of each other. I am just weak."

"You are not weak, Edward," Carlisle said in his best no-nonsense tone. "You know how I think the most prominent traits of our personalities are enhanced when we transform into vampires – like how you were sensible to people's thoughts and are now able to actually hear them. Instead of an active power I think I had my compassion enhanced and that has helped me to perfect my restraint. It is my suspicion also, that Bella's shielding power may have helped her shielding her senses a little. But of course, however way you look at it, the key ingredients in this is will power and patience which I believe you have."

"I know it is a morbid question and I also know that I should not be asking it, but how different is the taste of human blood from animal blood?" Edward asked, looking at Carlisle and biting his lip nervously.

As I also did not know the answer to the question, I looked at Carlisle too.

"I am not sure there are words to accurately explain the difference," Carlisle said slowly. "Vampires are the world's most dangerous predators and we are designed to drink human blood – which is probably why there is nothing that I can even compare to the taste of it. We are going against our very nature. It is…fulfilling like nothing else. When I bit you, Edward, I was not biting to drink, of course. But I will admit that I have never come as close to losing control – not even when I was a newborn with no restraint at all. If you want my advice, then crush your curiosity. Crush it, bury it and do everything you can to keep it locked away. It is easier when you don't know the taste."

Edward contemplated this, but I had to know something. "You mean that it weakened your restraint to taste Edward's blood?"

"It did, yes," Carlisle confirmed. "There were a few days afterwards where I had to be more on my guard. Now I'm as immune as ever, but I know the taste and I wish I didn't."

"You never told me this," I said.

"There was no reason to. My wish for you both is that you never taste human blood unless for some reason it becomes your conscious choice."

***

I turned my head to see Edward staring at me. If I had been human I would have flushed bright red, and an endless sea of emotions ran through me all at once. Our eyes locked and the world came to a violent stop. I gasped. There was nothing else in the universe but the emotion-filled golden eyes that held mine captivated. I tried to decipher the emotions but it was impossible. There were too many and they were too intense, too raw.

"I'm sorry," Edward finally said, looking away for a short moment. "I…do you believe in fate, Bella?"

I took a moment to gather my thoughts and then nodded. "I do believe that there are things that are meant to be, yes."

"Like what?" Edward asked. With a tiny smile I recognized the look in his eyes – it was the one that was always present when he got frustrated that he was unable to read my thoughts. It was adorable. I had never lifted my shield for him, afraid of what I would reveal. He didn't know that I could lift it, neither did Carlisle. _I_ didn't even know if I could. It was just a theory of mine that I was not about to try out for no apparent reason. Not even if he was being unreasonably adorable.

"Well," I said, hesitating. "I believe that it was fate that brought me to the same hospital as Carlisle. – And you to the same hospital as Carlisle and I. I believe we were meant to meet, so it has to be fate."

Edward nodded thoughtfully. "True love is also fate, yes?"

"I don't see how it can be anything else," I said, wondering if there was a reason we were maneuvering this particular mine field. Edward was random sometimes, like he was grabbing stray thoughts out of people's heads and musing on them out loud. Only right now there was no one to pick the thoughts from except himself.

"I don't know whether to be frustrated or comforted by such a thing as fate," he sighed. "If I was fated to meet you and Carlisle, then I was also fated to be a vampire, and whereas I like the first part, then I'm having difficulties getting used to the second part."

I did not know what to say. It was difficult seeing Edward struggle with his new reality the way he did, especially since I was the main reason for it. Regret and shame would creep up on me at times and I would hate myself for taking on the role as God and dictating Edward to live forever. But then, other times he would smile and be happy and I would feel it in my heart that everything was exactly the way it was supposed to. It would also be an understatement to say that Edward was not adding to my confused state, suddenly talking about love. I was so sure that I would regret starting to hope.


	6. From Heaven to Hell

Thank you to _LordXeenTheGreat, hagnos_ and _darkangel1994_ for the reviews. :)

Disclamier: I do not own Twilight.

**6**

**From Heaven to Hell**

The living room had been filled with the sounds of Edward's piano for hours. I had my eyes closed as I sat on the floor with my arms around my knees and my head leaned back against the couch currently occupied by Carlisle who had given up on his medical journal in favor of enjoying the music.

I, too, was letting the breathtaking tones wash over me. I couldn't help but think about the light I knew was in Edward's eyes when he played the piano. Carlisle had bought him the piano as soon as he had admitted that he had enjoyed playing as a human.

The fluent, soothing tones came to a stop. I knew the piece he had just been playing was a composition he had made for his mother when he was human. I opened my eyes and looked at Edward. He was looking at me and Carlisle with a desperate look in his eyes. I immediately straightened up.

"What is wrong, Edward?" Carlisle asked.

"I can't…" he said helplessly, gesturing with his hands. "Why can I remember the music I composed for my mother when I can't remember _her_?"

"You don't remember your mother?" Carlisle's voice was gentle.

Edward shook his head miserably. "I mean, I remember her, but… I can't remember her face or how she smelled. I can't remember what her voice sounded like. I can't remember her laugh…"

"Oh, son," Carlisle sighed. "I'm afraid it's normal that our human past is hazy at best. Maybe you only remember the music because your hands have played it repeatedly."

Edward nodded sadly.

"I don't remember my human years clearly either," Carlisle said. "It's the same with you, Bella, isn't it?"

I nodded, biting her lip – I seemed to be doing that a lot since I met Edward. "Edward…" I said softly, knowing my voice was filled with hesitance. I stood up and walked over to the piano bench where I sat down next to Edward who looked at me. "I might be able to help you remember your mother."

"How?"

"Well…" I took a deep breath and focused on the shield that kept my thoughts hidden from him. "Read my thoughts," I whispered and lifted my shield before allowing all the memories I had of Elizabeth Masen in the hospital before she died to flow slowly through my mind.

Edward gasped. "Bella…" he whispered in awe, grabbing my hand and squeezing it hard. I replayed the memories several times, all the while taking in the emotions flittering across Edward's face. I was aware that it was one of greatest gifts I could ever give him and it filled me with so many emotions that I was afraid he would notice.

"Thank you," he breathed. "Thank you so much. You have no idea what that meant to me."

I smiled.

Carlisle cleared his throat behind them, failing at disguising his curiosity. "What just happened?"

Edward let out a shaky laugh before I replied. "I lifted my shield and showed Edward the memories I have of his mother."

"I had no idea you could do that, Bella," Carlisle said.

I shrugged, twisting the truth a tiny bit. "I wasn't completely sure I could do it, but it was worth a try."

"Thank you again for sharing the memories you have of my mother with me," Edward said hours later. He had spent most of the night at the piano bent over the keys composing, clearly filled with new inspiration.

"You're welcome," I smiled.

"You know," Edward said with the most adorable shy look I had ever seen on his face. "Besides seeing my mother clearly, it really means a lot to me that you allowed me to look into your thoughts. Normally I can't help myself and even though it often does frustrate that I can't read your thoughts, then I'm glad that I'm not unintentionally invading your privacy all the time. Does that make sense?"

I nodded thoughtfully. "But you really shouldn't feel bad for having such a special gift. You can't help but to use it."

"Still…" Edward shrugged. "Hey, do you ever use your acceleration power?"

"No," I replied, leaning back a little in the couch. "I can't just use it on my own, I need someone's power to accelerate." I smiled a little. "I will admit that I'm curious about how I might be able to accelerate your power, but you should get used to it and discover it fully before I start using you as a guinea pig."

Edward threw his head back and laughed. Then he looked at me and winked in a very un-Edward like manner. "You can use me as a guinea pig anytime you want."

In many ways my relationship with Edward blossomed. In other ways we were merely ignoring the pink elephant in the corner. When we went hunting he would hold my hand as we ran though the forest and I would be blissfully happy and content. But we never actually declared ourselves.

Then he started acting strangely. He ignored his piano and snapped at Carlisle. At first I was able to get through to him, but that changed too. He simply ignored me too. He went off for hours at a time never saying where he went or what he was doing. The worried expression in Carlisle's eyes mirrored my own, but we had no idea what was going on.

I was home alone the day I found out. I was on the couch reading "Wuthering Heights", a favorite of mine written in my own time, when Edward came back after one of his mysterious disappearing acts.

I looked up when he came through the door, but the greeting died in my throat when I saw his eyes. They were blood-red.

"Edward," I whispered, my book dropping to the floor with a thud. "What did you do?"

He averted his eyes before turning fully away from me. I was in front of him in less than a second. "Edward?"

He refused to look at me. "I can't do this any longer, Bella," he said, his voice resembling ice. "Who am I to deny my thirst when the world is full of _human_ monsters who steal, rape and kill? I did a good thing today, Bella. I saved a girl from getting killed by some barbaric scum. He was about to kill like he had done before and I got rid of him."

"It was hardly necessary to drink his blood, though," I pointed out.

Edward's eyes were blazing when they finally met mine. "Maybe I'm not a saint like you and Carlisle. Did you ever consider that?"

"Did _you_ ever consider that everything isn't black and white? There are a million shades of grey in the world, Edward. Not being a monster doesn't automatically mean that you're a saint. We can only do our best."

"Well then," he said icily. "Right now my best is to rid the world of creatures worse than myself."

Carlisle came home after working a shift at the hospital then. Edward didn't appear to notice him, though, which seemed ridiculous considering his mind-reading power and his heightened vampire hearing. He took a step closer to me and grabbed the back of my head with his hand and crashed his lips against mine with a force and an intensity that instantly made the world stop existing for me. Edward was everything. He kissed me hungrily and I could do nothing but respond under his desperate lips.

Much too soon, however, he pulled away breathing heavily. He stared into my eyes and the only thing I could focus on was the fact that his eyes were beautiful even with their new, horrible color.

"You deserve so much better, Bella," he said hoarsely. "I'm sorry." He turned around, now facing Carlisle. "I'm sorry, Carlisle. I can't stay… Thank you for everything you have done for me. Please take care of Bella."

"Edward," Carlisle reached out to place his hand on Edward's shoulder, but Edward took a step to the side.

I finally found my voice, or something resembling it. "Wait. What? You're leaving? Edward, you can't leave!"

He didn't look at me. He took a step towards the door which was blocked by Carlisle.

"Are you coming back?" Carlisle asked.

"I…" Edward clenched his fists but said nothing further. Carlisle moved away from the door and a second later Edward was gone.

"No! Edward, wait!" I cried, running after him, but Carlisle caught me before I made it out the door.

"Let him go, Bella," he said softly. He wrapped me in a hug when I started sobbing. "Sshhh, honey," he said, stroking my hair in an attempt to calm me down. "Trust him enough to believe that he will be back."

"But I don't want him to go," I whined, not caring how it sounded. My world was falling to pieces and my long-dead heart crumbling in my chest.

"Can you tell me what happened?" Carlisle asked gently.

I took several – useless – calming breaths. "He's got some demented idea of you and I being saints and him being a monster. You saw his eyes…today he apparently killed a murderer." I was surprised at how calm I sounded because everything inside if me were in an uproar. "When I told him that the world isn't just black and white and we can only do our best, he told me that his best right now was to ridding the world of monsters worse than himself. I'm scared, Carlisle. I don't think he's coming back."

"He might surprise you," Carlisle said. "Edward is no more of a monster than you and I. He'll figure it our eventually. Give him some time, Bella." I knew he was right. And giving Edward time was the only thing I _could_ do, because giving up on him was not an option. I loved him too much.

***

It seemed easy – much, much _too_ easy – for Carlisle and I to fall back into the routine where it was just the two of us. But for every smile to reassure my worrying father, for every stimulating conversation and for every way Carlisle tried to distract me my dead heart only hurt more. I felt empty and I was ashamed that Carlisle wasn't enough to fill my life anymore.

Often Carlisle would catch me staring at nothing at all and he would always say the same thing, his voice soft and filled with so much love that it made me gasp. "Don't give up hope."

I went back to work at the hospital for the sake of my sanity. I needed something to fill my time with and taking care of others was a good distraction even though I tried to avoid the rooms Elizabeth and Edward had stayed in.


	7. My Love

Big thanks to Jaguarsolaris, ..Hale., jadesabre75, Mysterious Angel-05, vampyregurl09, Sadie1787, InnerDancingMonkey and omichiri6183 for your reviews. :)  
And an extra thank you to omichiri6183 for your watchful eye! ;)

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

**7**

**My Love**

It was a little after midnight. I was working at the hospital and I was pushing a gurney down towards the morgue. Mrs. Morgan – a sweet little old lady had died from a lung infection an hour ago and while nurses weren't supposed to transport bodies to the morgue, I had quickly given up trying to find an orderly who was actually awake. It wasn't like I couldn't manage the gurney myself and it felt good doing this last thing for Mrs. Morgan. She had taken a particular liking to me when she had been admitted to the hospital last week, claiming that I looked like her long-dead daughter. She had been lonely, so I had spent a little extra time with her all week.

The sound of a beating heart surprised me when I reached the morgue because it was supposed to be deserted. It was a weak heart beat and I wondered if a patient had gotten lost and ended up down here alone. With my sensitive hearing I quickly pinpointed the exact location of the heart beat – it belonged to someone who was on a gurney covered in a white sheet, much like Mrs. Morgan.

I ripped away the sheet and saw a petite woman with a heart shaped face and long caramel colored hair. She was doing one hell of a job impersonating a corpse, but there was no doubt she was still alive. Her lower body was obviously broken, but to my utter surprise she wore the ghost of a smile on her lips. What was she doing here? I brought her with me on the gurney and hurried off towards where I knew I would find Carlisle. Even though I was pretty sure that there was no chance of the woman making it through the night, I still couldn't leave her at the morgue when she wasn't dead.

To my surprise a frantic looking Carlisle met me in the deserted hallway.

"Esme," he whispered brokenly. I stared as he cupped the young woman's cheek and closed his eyes with a pained look on his face.

"Carlisle?" My voice was barely audible, but I knew he could hear me. "Do you know her?"

He looked at me and nodded, then he changed his mind and shook his head. My eyes widened. What did that mean?

"I…" he said and took a deep breath. "Where did you find her?"

"The morgue." At my answer his eyes widened.

"But she isn't dead," he said and looked at her again, as if needing to make sure.

"I know," I just said.

Carlisle looked at the still woman for a long moment. "Do you think she would hate me if I saved her?" he finally asked.

I didn't know how to reply. My thoughts went to Edward but realized it wasn't fair to base my opinion on how he had reacted to being saved by us.

"Take her back to the house," I said. There had to be something special about the woman for Carlisle even to consider this. He had never talked about changing someone in particular, and since he hadn't put up a fight with Edward, I would let him have this one without making a fuss. "I'll cover for you. – Say you had to leave because you weren't feeling well." He seemed to hesitate. "Carlisle, we're running out of time here – at least she is!" That made him move, and a few seconds later he had gathered her in his arms and had disappeared out a window. Thank God it was the middle of the night.

I finished my shift, covering for Carlisle as I had promised him. The fact that a body had disappeared from the morgue didn't go over unnoticed, though, and a search was initiated. I just stayed out of the way, especially after overhearing a doctor and a security guard talking.

"She jumped off a cliff, you know," the doctor said and clarified, "the dead woman who disappeared."

"What made her do a thing like that?" the security guard asked.

"Something about an abusive husband and a kid who died," the doctor replied. "Well, my break is almost over and I need coffee. Let me know when you find her."

I stood frozen a few rooms away. What had we done? This woman obviously wanted to die and by now the venom would have spread in her body damning to her an existence that lasted forever. Oh God.

***

It was difficult facing Carlisle when I came home after my shift had ended. The woman was on the couch, whimpering loudly, and Carlisle sat next to her whispering softly. I stood silently and watched them for a long time before Carlisle turned his head, looking at me in need of reassurance.

I sighed, knowing I had to tell him the truth. "She jumped off a cliff, Carlisle," I said, giving him a moment to let it sink in. His eyes widened but he said nothing. "I overheard a doctor and a security guard talking at the hospital when it became known that she had disappeared. Apparently her husband abused her and her child died."

"Oh God…" Carlisle's voice was broken and barely audible.

I rubbed my forehead. "Listen, I don't know if we made a mistake or not, but I think we should leave. They're looking for her body and it's too risky to stay here. If she really wanted to die, then she may not like it when she finds out that we cheated her of death. If we can't reason with her and she runs off in a place where people know her… We can't let that happen."

Carlisle could do nothing but agree with me. He did, however, voice a concern of mine that had been swimming around in the back of my head since I had realized that we would have to leave. "Bella… You can stay here if you want. I won't make you leave if you would rather stay here and wait for Edward. This is my mess to deal with."

"Forget it, Carlisle," I said. "Remember what you said in New York when I told you I had to leave? You wouldn't just leave your daughter here, would you?"

Carlisle shook his head with a grateful smile. "Of course not, honey."

"Good," I attempted a smile too. "Besides, If Edward ever decides to bless us with his presence again he can damn well track us. After his exit he can't expect us just to sit around waiting for him." The words hurt in my throat, but the truth was that I didn't know if I would ever see Edward again, and I couldn't risk our safety betting on him coming back. The odds were too lousy.

"Okay, so I'll pack up what we need and put it in the car, as well as write our resignations to the hospital. I'll say you have been offered a better position somewhere," I said, focusing on practical matters because it was much easier than thinking about Edward.

"Thank you, Bella," Carlisle said. "I hope this won't be for nothing."

I lingered instead of starting to pack. We really should get going as soon as possible… "What made you want to change her?" I had to ask.

"Her name is Esme," Carlisle said softly, not looking at me. He was stroking her right eyebrow and she quieted down a little. "I told you about her once when you asked me if I had ever found a mate. She was just a young girl when I met her but she turned my world upside down. I never imagined, though…"

I walked over and squeezed his shoulder. "I'm sure she'll forgive you," I said comfortingly even though the odds in favor of a happy outcome were bad. He appreciated the effort though, and I left to pack up our things.

***

It had been a long three days. We had left the house within a few hours and had been driving for two days straight. Now we were in Montana, having decided on Great Falls as our destination. It had taken Carlisle no time at all to find a house for us, a large fixer-upper in the forest several miles from the highway.

Esme had been going through her transformation in the backseat of the car. Carlisle had been sitting with her, comforting her the best he could while I drove. We had spoken very little and while listening to Esme's pained cries the time had dragged on with the minutes seeming like hours.

After unloading the car I went into town for necessities, primarily clothes and toiletries for Esme. I was nervous, so I could only imagine how Carlisle was feeling. When I came back the house was empty and there was a hastily written note on the table from Carlisle saying that Esme had woken up and he had taken her hunting.

I looked around, taking in the rundown house for the first time. It would need a lot of work, so it was a good thing that we never slept and literally had forever. Putting my vampire speed to good use I cleaned the living room as well as three rooms upstairs. I wished I had picked up some paint in town, but the cleaning helped a lot. I put our things away and made a mental note about getting some more furniture soon. The stuff that had come with the house wasn't something I wanted to look longer than absolutely necessary.

I heard Carlisle and Esme approaching outside, resisting the urge to go peek out of the window. When they appeared in the door, the first thing I noticed was the smiles on their faces. What? Was it not only three days ago that Esme had tried to end her life by jumping from a cliff – and had my dear father not looked completely broken with his decision to change Esme into a vampire?

Then I took a closer look at Esme. Now that she wasn't screaming and whimpering in pain, she was stunningly beautiful. The pale and perfect vampire complexion suited her, and her caramel colored hair ran in shiny waves down her back. Even the blood-red eyes did nothing to ruin her perfection. There was something in her smile that made me think of Elizabeth Masen. I didn't know what it was because the two women looked nothing alike. I automatically smiled when she noticed me.

"Esme, this is my daughter, Bella," Carlisle introduced me and I was instantly wrapped in a hug that made me remember my mother more clearly than I ever had.

"Hi Bella, it's a pleasure to meet you," she said.

"Likewise," I said, surprised at the lack of awkwardness the moment held.

"If I may leave you two ladies to get acquainted," Carlisle said. "I should probably go see if there is a job for me at the local hospital. Unless you would rather, Bella…?"

"Whatever you think is best, Carlisle," I replied, making the decision about who was to stay at home with Esme entirely his.

He had obviously given it some thought already. "Well, no offense to you, Bella, but I believe I can stay longer at the hospital than you would be able to." He turned to Esme to explain. "Since we don't age we can only stay in one place a certain number of years. Experience has taught us that Bella can work at the same hospital for four or five years while I can pull it off a little longer before people get suspicious."

"All right, go play doctor," I dismissed him with a laugh. "Esme and I will be fine."

"I'm sorry," I said as soon as I knew Carlisle was out hearing range. Esme looked at me, eyes full of questions. "You see, when I found you in the morgue I didn't know…what had happened."

"Please don't worry, dear," Esme said hurriedly. "I know how it must look. It is true that I jumped off that cliff willingly, but now I just can't help but feel grateful that you found me in time."

I didn't know what to say, but Esme didn't seem to mind.

"I couldn't believe it when I opened my eyes and saw Carlisle," she confided to me with a smile playing on her beautiful face. "I thought I was in a hospital but then I saw that he hadn't aged one bit since I last saw him years ago. We met once, you know. I broke my leg and…" she trailed off, still smiling softly. "I never forgot him."

"He certainly never forgot you either," I said softly, confident to reveal as much without breaking his confidence.

Esme smiled, first looking at nothing in particular, then at me. "I have already decided to give all this a fair chance. Carlisle told me I could stay with you or go my own way if I wanted. I would very much like to stay, though, if you don't mind me being around, Bella."

"I would love for you to stay, Esme," I told her honestly. In fact I was pretty sure that I wanted her to stay as much as Carlisle obviously did.

She beamed at me before looking around the living room for the first time. Her nose wrinkled a bit and I couldn't blame her. "So Bella, what do vampires do all day?"

I giggled. "That's the beauty of it. While hunting humans is out, we can pretty much do anything else we might like. Having an eternity to live kind of gives you an endless supply of possibilities. What do you like doing?"

"Well…" she smiled nervously. "I was going to suggest that we did something about the interior of this house. Carlisle told me that you had to relocate to here because of me, so I would love to give a hand in getting your new house into shape."

"Yes, I was going to do something about it…" I said. "But Esme… How do I explain? I…I don't know how much Carlisle has had time to tell you, but him and I are unique for our kind. In fact, none of us in our many years as vampires have ever come across others who share our lifestyle. Other vampires live in covens out of protection and necessity whereas we…well, I guess protection is also a factor, but we are a family. We love each other. And your choice to join us – that makes you family as well. So this house is as much yours as it is ours, meaning that whatever you want to do, you can just go ahead and do. Am I making sense?"

"Much," Esme said softly, grabbing my hand and squeezing it. "In essence you are saying that you are opening your heart to me. And I don't understand how I got to be lucky enough to be part of your family. If that whole living forever thing is true, then I suspect you will have me thanking you for finding me in that morgue forever."

I got it now. I understood why Carlisle loved Esme. She was simply impossible _not_ to love.

As it turned out Esme loved decorating and she was very talented. Her flair for colors was an immortal being worthy. Soon I found myself going to town daily to buy paint, fabrics, furniture and whatever else Esme instructed me to hunt down. The rundown house was rapidly being transformed into an ocean of tasteful colors and Carlisle was having a hard time recognizing it when he had been away on a long shift at the hospital. His contribution to the process was an endless flow of praise and Esme and I were both very pleased with his efforts, just as he was with ours.


	8. Lost Boys

A big thanks to Sadie1787, immortalwizardpirateelf-fan, Jaguarsolaris, InnerDancingMonkey, Mysterious Angel-05, rohan65, CullenGrl255 and omichiri6183 for your reviews. You guys are amazing and I promise you that your questions will be answered soon. :) A special thanks goes out to Jocelyn for the FB shoutout - that was unexpected but so sweet. :) Thank you for not mentioning my name, though. You are completely and utterly a DARLING! :)

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

**8**

**Lost Boys**

I carried the memory of Edward every second of every day, as well as the pain he had left me with. They were constant companions – sometimes at the back of my mind, other times at the very front making me scream out my pain in the deep of the forest when I was hunting alone.

Esme told me about her dead son and in some ways we connected through the pain. "The pain faded along with my human memories, but there will probably always be a dull ache inside of me," she told me. "I have never wanted anything more than I wanted to be a mother…and I was only a mother for three short days. I just broke – long before I hit the ground after jumping from the cliff."

I squeezed her hand, not having any words for her. She looked at me sadly. "Don't ever do anything that foolish, Bella. Although I value my life now more than anything, then it was a very foolish thing I did. Life is precious."

"Carlisle probably mentioned Edward to you," I said slowly, wincing as I said his name.

Esme nodded. "You and he were very close, weren't you?"

"I love him," I said simply. I had never said it out loud before although I never doubted that Carlisle had known right from the start. It was just natural to want to confide in Esme. "I loved him from the first moment our eyes met in a crowded hospital ward while he was dying of the Spanish Flu."

"You are not happy, are you, Bella?" Esme asked.

"In some ways I am happier than I have ever been because I am not alone anymore. You can't imagine what it feels like to wander alone for years and years thinking that is the way it will always be – and then to become a part of a family. It must be even more amazing for Carlisle as he is so much older than me," I said, smiling at the sincerity of my words. Then my smile fell as I thought about the next part of my answer. "In other ways, in _most_ ways I'm afraid, I just want to curl up in a corner and cry all the tears my tear ducts can't produce. It hurts all the time, no matter what I do or how much I try not to think about him. Although it's different, I carry my pain just like you do."

"And you remember your lost boy more vividly than I remember mine," Esme sighed. "I only remember how precious he was and how much I loved him."

"That in itself is a good memory," I said. "It is so difficult to bring memories of our human lives with us through out transformation. That was one thing I could give Edward. I spent time with his mother before she died and I lifted my shield so he could read my mind while I shifted through my memories of her."

Esme smiled. "I think my most vivid memory from my human life is when I met Carlisle the first time. What is yours?"

I thought about it, it was all so long ago. "I don't really have a single vivid memory from when I was human. All I remember are glimpses…feelings, smells, that sort of thing. I remember the smell of my mother's apple pie and although I don't remember the taste, I do remember that I loved it."

"I remember the taste of strawberries," Esme said. "I used to love them. I don't really remember what other kinds of food tastes like."

We were silent for a while until Esme asked me the question I desperately wanted the answer to myself.

"Do you think Edward will come back?"

If I was being brutally honest with myself I did not know what I thought. I only knew that I had to tell myself over and over that he _would_ be back because otherwise I would simply stop functioning.

"I don't know," I admitted finally. "I keep telling myself that he will be back because it makes me function, but sometimes doubt creeps in and I have to convince myself that I am not just deluding my poor abandoned self. At times I fantasize about going out to find him, but then I remember how he looked at me when he left and realize what a bad idea that would be. If he comes back, it should be because he wants to."

"Carlisle seems to have hope," Esme said optimistically, squeezing my arm in the empty yet reassuring way only a mother can.

I smiled involuntarily. "Carlisle is a good father, believing and being optimistic on behalf of his deluded teenage daughter. It's a stretch, I know, but maybe not so much in this situation."

***

I looked out into the darkness. The world around me was quiet except for the faint murmurs of Esme and Carlisle in the living room downstairs. I managed to tune them out completely and allowed my thoughts to float to Edward. It was not often I allowed myself to really think about him because it hurt too much, but sometimes I needed to let the memories of him flow through my mind like a wild and uncontrollable river.

There was nothing about him that I did not miss. – The way he ran his hands through his hair making my own hands ache for the same experience. – His gorgeous crooked smile that he reserved only for me. – The way he could make me feel like nothing in the world was as beautiful as me. – His velvety voice whispering my name. – His eyes lightening up when he saw me. – The intensity in his eyes.

The pain inside me flared up as I remembered the feel of his smooth lips against my own. That one brief taste of him right before he left had left me wanting – _needing – _more…much more.

***

It was beautiful to see Esme and Carlisle fall in love. The way I saw it, no one deserved love more than the man who filled the role as my father in every important way. No one could be more right for him that sweet, loving Esme. I would have an ache in my chest when I saw the way her eyes lit up when Carlisle came home from work.

Carlisle found me alone one day and asked me to come for a walk with him. It had been a while since the two of us had spent any real time together, him spending his free hours with Esme. I understood, of course, but I couldn't help but wonder if they were better off without me as a third wheel.

Apparently Carlisle's thoughts had strayed to our new situation too. "Bella, I have been thinking," he started.

"You don't have to say it," I interrupted, and I truly did not want him to say the words that would send me away. I would rather say them myself. "I will leave, of course. Maybe I can go and find Edward…"

Carlisle looked at me, eyes blazing with shock and hurt. "I won't stop you if you want to find Edward. But honey…you were not seriously thinking that I was going to ask you to leave, were you? Please tell me you are not entertaining such foolish thoughts."

We obviously had not been on the same page and I felt ridiculously relieved. "Well, I just thought you and Esme wanted to be alone…"

Carlisle stopped walking and grabbed my arm. He hugged me, shaking his head slightly. "Isabella, your selflessness is beyond reason," he sighed, pulling back and looking me in the eyes. "I was going to talk to you about Esme, but I do _not_ want you to leave. Ever. I love you and no matter what happens, that will not change."

I didn't say anything, but Carlisle chuckled at my sheepish relief. "What I was going to say," he continued. "Would you mind if I asked Esme to marry me?"

I stared at him, now it was me who was shocked. "Carlisle…I would mind if you _didn't_ ask her to marry you," I said. "You and her…it's just so right. If I didn't already believe in fate, then I would now after seeing you two together. Don't hesitate for a second – hold on to your love."

"Thank you, honey." His gratitude was obvious and he hugged me again. I couldn't help but feel a little ashamed. I had obviously been so wrapped up in my own misery that I hadn't managed to communicate that I was happy for Esme and Carlisle. I had been a bad daughter.

"Esme loves you very much too, you know," Carlisle interrupted my thoughts.

"I know," I smiled. – And I did, Esme was very generous with her love. "I know that I tend to get so wrapped in my own misery that I don't always appreciate what is right in front of me. But I do love both of you very much." I gave him a grin. "You did a good job at picking out a mother for me, Father Dearest."

"I did, didn't I?" He laughed.

It came as no surprise when a glowing Esme a few days later showed me a sparkling diamond ring and told me that Carlisle had proposed. I congratulated them both with a sincere and jubilant heart.

***

"Bella, may I speak with you?" Esme asked me one night after Carlisle had left for his nightshift at the hospital. She looked a little nervous.

"Of course, Esme," I replied with a smile. We sat down in the couch. Esme fiddled with her engagement ring as I waited patiently for what she had to say.

"I don't know how to say this without sounding stupid," she finally admitted with a small laugh.

"Just say it," I encouraged her. "I know for a fact that you're not stupid, so it doesn't matter how it sounds."

"Okay," she took a deep breath. "I just wanted to tell you how much I appreciate the way that you have always made me feel part of the unity that is you and Carlisle. When I…jumped off the cliff it was because I never thought I would have a family like this. I know that you have been around for a lot longer than I have, but in many ways I feel like I have gained a daughter. I certainly love you like one."

I smiled and hugged Esme. "Just a few days ago I praised Carlisle for doing such a good job in finding me a mother," I told her with a little laugh. "It's an impossibility not to love you and asking you to marry him is the smartest thing Carlisle Cullen has ever done."


	9. Honeymooning Alone

A big thanks to jadesabre75, InnerDancingMonkey, , rohan65, Mysterious Angel-05, SaraCGeorgeBob, ..Hale., aerobee82, Sadie1787 and blinding-rainbows for your reviews. Also thank you to everyone who has added this story to their favorites and are getting alerts. I am much in awe. :)

Disclamer: I do not own Twilight.

**9**

**Honeymooning Alone**

Witnessing Esme and Carlisle exchange their wedding wows nearly became my undoing. Esme was a vision of beauty in a cream dress and the love and happiness radiating from the both of them was like a lighthouse in my dark existence. I was holding Esme's bouquet for her and I gripped it so hard that I was crumbling the stems.

This was the final proof that we were not damned. Love like the one shining between my parents was only meant for the good and the pure. Once I had thought that I might even have a shot at something similar myself, but Edward had taken that hope with him when he left. I missed him terribly and my constant need for convincing myself that he would someday be back had not lessened, but I realized how lucky I was even to be a witness to the beauty of such precious love and I was grateful.

"Congratulations," I greeted my parents afterwards with the biggest smile I could muster. "You can't imagine how amazing it is to see you so happy. You deserve all the happiness in the world. I love you."

"We love you too, honey." They both hugged me. "You will be all right while we are gone, right?"

"Of course," I nodded. "You just have a wonderful time on your honeymoon."

"Thank you, Bella." Esme gave me her bouquet and with a few more goodbyes Carlisle whisked his new wife away for their honeymoon. The destination was to be a surprise for Esme, but Carlisle had told me where they were going. He had gone all out for his bride and bought a small island near the Brazilian coast. _Isle Esme_ was Esme's wedding present. I had actually uttered an '_aw'_ when he told me.

I went home alone. The house suddenly felt enormous and silent and wrong. I put Esme's bouquet in a vase on the coffee table and sat down in the couch wondering if I was going to spend the next many weeks on edge. I had no idea what to fill my time with now that I was facing time all alone.

***

It was just after midnight a few weeks after Esme and Carlisle's wedding that the scent of another vampire reached my nose. It was unfamiliar, so I automatically tensed and put up my shield around myself. I stayed perfectly still in front of the shelves where I had been reorganizing my books, and as I let my senses take over completely I noticed two distinct vampire scents. Great, I would be outnumbered if it came to a fight. I felt like I was alone in the world again like I had been before meeting Carlisle.

The strange vampires were fairly close to the house, so there was no chance that they would just pass through the area. I counted in my head and reached to seven before there was a knock on the door downstairs.

I knew I had to open. They knew I was here and a wooden door would stop no vampire. Running was also not an option; that would only give them an unnecessary reason to start a fight. So I opened the door and came face to face with two dark cloaked figures smiling uncomfortably serenely.

"Good evening," the tallest one said. His skin was almost translucent and his eyes had a strange milky red color. The hair falling around his face under the cloak was long and black and as he spoke the smile on his face got sickeningly sweet. "So you are my old friend Carlisle's little mate?" he continued before I had time to return his greeting.

"Good evening," I said neutrally, wondering how a red-eyed vampire would think himself a friend of Carlisle, the most compassionate of our kind. I turned my gaze to the second vampire. She was small, almost childlike. Her pale brown hair framed her angelic face and her wide red eyes stared unblinkingly at me.

"Is Carlisle here?" The tall male asked, not seeming bothered by the fact that I hadn't denied or confirmed being Carlisle's mate. "I would very much like to say hello."

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. He knew very well that I was alone and it seemed pretty pathetic to act like he didn't. "No, I'm afraid he is not here right now," I replied.

He sighed dramatically. "What a shame. It really has been too long since I last saw him. He is such an interesting man, don't you agree?"

I nodded.

"Tell me, though, is he still pursuing that unusual feeding ritual of his?" He asked as if he couldn't see my eyes being golden instead of mirroring his own crimson ones.

"He is," I confirmed. "Without slip-ups too."

"Remarkable," he laughed. "What did I tell you, Jane. Carlisle Cullen is indeed special in his own way."

The small female beamed up at the male while I speculated how to deal with the two strangers. They didn't seem hostile exactly and they seemed to know Carlisle even if I didn't understand why he had never referred to anyone as friends, but there was no way I was letting my guard down around them.

The male suddenly looked at me again, gasping. "Oh dear, I seem to have forgotten my manners. This is Jane," he said gesturing to the small female who gave me another creepy smile. "And I am Aro. I assume Carlisle have mentioned me?"

The Volturi.

Carlisle had spent hours telling me about them and his time at Volterra. He had warned me many times that they would no doubt find my powers interesting and that I should be on my guard if I ever met them. Aro was their leader and Jane was his faithful little pet who above all enjoyed torturing people with her power.

"Yes, he has told me about his time in Italy," I said, forcing out a polite smile. There was no need to aggravate them and I just wanted them to leave as soon as possible. "I am Isabella."

"Isabella," Aro drawled out my name, offering me his hand to shake. I shook it, suppressing a grimace when I noticed the brief look of frustration that crossed his face. Carlisle had explained Aro's power to me, and in many ways it was like Edward's, only Aro needed physical contact to read thoughts but was able to read any thought any given person had ever thought. "It is a pleasure to meet you. You are Carlisle's mate?"

"No, I am his daughter," I replied. "When we met we decided to stick together since we shared the same diet."

Aro perked up again. "You chose to feed on animals instead of humans _before _you met Carlisle?" He wrinkled his nose a little at the mention of feeding on animals.

"Yes," I nodded, hoping the interrogation would be over soon. I didn't like revealing anything about myself and my family to them, but I had to be polite. "Carlisle and I met at a hospital where we both worked."

"Remarkable," Aro breathed, clapping his hands like a child. Jane had stopped smiling and looked bored.

"Well," Aro stopped clapping. "If I may be honest with you, Isabella, we did not come to see Carlisle even though that certainly would have been an added bonus. We came to see you. We have heard great things about you and would like to offer you a place in the Volturi Guard."

"What?" I managed. "How…?"

"Oh, we hear things," Aro shrugged. "We have visitors from all over the world and word gets around in a small community such as the vampire world. We have heard tales of your remarkable talents and it all seems to be true. Your mind is closed to me."

I knew as much. But I was uncertain whether or not I could just politely refuse their offer. Carlisle had warned me that they might not accept a refusal. "I am honored, but I have no wish to leave my family."

"You're sure?" Aro pouted and it looked ridiculous. "There are many benefits when you are a part of the Volturi _family_."

"I am sure," I nodded. "But thank you for your gracious offer."

Aro sighed heavily, looking at Jane. "Well, we asked, didn't we, Jane. We can't do more than that."

"But Master…" her voice was like chiming bells but whiney.

Aro chuckled, glancing at me. "I wonder if you will allow Jane to try an experiment, Isabella? She has been much excited about it since I told her we were coming to meet you."

I trusted my shield enough to nod. I watched Jane scrunch up her little angel face and stare intently at me, her frustration growing when nothing happened.

Aro started chuckling again. "Remarkable," he said. "You can stop now, Jane. It is clearly not working." Jane scowled at me and I was pretty sure that she was still attempting to use her power on me.

"Well, Isabella," Aro said. "We will leave you now. I trust you will find your way to us if you should change your mind?"

"I won't," I assured him. "But thank you."

He nodded sadly. "Please give Carlisle my best wishes. Until next time, Isabella." With that they left and I stood watching them until they disappeared. I knew the '_until next time'_ was a reminder that Aro had not given up on getting me to join the Guard, but I was satisfied with the encounter. My shield had worked, I hadn't revealed my acceleration power or anything vital about my family and – maybe most importantly of all – he didn't seem to know anything about Edward. - Because if my power was interesting to them, Edward's would be too.

It started raining and I sat down on the front steps, not wanting to go inside before I was sure that Aro and Jane had left the area. I spent the rest of the night outside, caught up in my own thoughts.

***

Esme and Carlisle had been home from their honeymoon for a month. They were so blissfully happy that I could do nothing but be happy for them despite my own strong longing for something similar – my longing for Edward. I still had not told Carlisle about Aro and Jane's visit. It would worry him and I figured he deserved some time to enjoy his newlywed bliss.

Carlisle returned to his job at the hospital while Esme worked on her restraint. She and I went out among humans and she did so well that she started going out alone if she needed something from the store for her countless restoration projects on the house. I was starting to go a little stir crazy at home doing nothing but helping Esme with her projects and studying languages I would probably never find any use for.

Our quiet life changed drastically one day. Esme came home with blood red eyes and I instantly found myself having flashbacks featuring Edward with the same color eyes. Esme was sobbing, apologizing over and over in a devastatingly broken voice. I comforted her the best I could, going over contingency plans in my head.

"It's okay, Esme," I soothed her. "You didn't mean to. It happens."

"It never happens to you and Carlisle," she sobbed. "I should be stronger."

"Esme, hush," I said. "It's certainly been close enough to happening to both of us several times that we can sympathize. We were newborns too once."

"Oh God, what will Carlisle think of me," she cried, not listening to me.

"He will love you just as much as always and you know that," I said. Esme didn't say any more, just continued sobbing. "Esme," I said gently. "I'm sorry, but now isn't the time to grieve. We need to leave as soon as Carlisle comes home, so we have to pack."

Esme continued sobbing while I packed all our necessities, leaving some of the larger things to be shipped to wherever we were going. I was leaving our destination up to Carlisle. As I packed up our clothes, I realized I was getting a little too good at the quick exits.

My thoughts centered on Edward for a while. For each move we were making it more difficult for him to find us, if he decided to come back to us. I couldn't put into words how much I missed him – my whole being ached for him. A sigh escaped me. Now was certainly not the time to dwell on my misery. I heard Carlisle's car come down the road to the house, and grabbing four suitcases I ran downstairs. We had plans to make.


	10. Forks

Big big thanks to Sadie1787, InnerDancingMonkey (I'll do my best to update every day, promise), aerobee82, Mysterious Angel-05, aurla0, , rohan65, CullenGrl255 and Jaguarsolaris for your wonderful reviews. You guys are amazing! This chapter I dedicate to Mysterious Angel-05 - you have the power to make me smile like an idiot at my computer screen. :)

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

**10**

**Forks**

Carlisle had not been unprepared. He took one look at Esme's red eyes and miserable face before he dug out a folded map from a pile of books under the coffee table. He handed it to me and took Esme in his arms to comfort her.

I unfolded the map. Like a treasure hunt there was a black X marking a little town called Forks in Washington. I had studied enough geography to know that the Olympic Peninsula was an ideal place for vampires wanting to interact with humans. It had a near constant cover of clouds.

"Perfect," I said before running back upstairs to collect more suitcases.

Within the hour we were on the road. I suppressed a sigh as I watched our house disappear in the distance. It felt like houses – _homes_ – held more significance when there was a family to go with them.

Esme sat sniffling in the back seat and kept apologizing. I could only imagine how she felt, not having been in the situation myself. Carlisle drove while I sat in the passenger seat forging our personal documents. It had become a necessary hobby of mine, although hardly a talent I was proud of. I sighed again as I resigned myself to becoming sixteen again. Maybe I would enroll in school in Forks to get out of the monotony that I had been stuck in lately.

Then my thoughts turned to Edward again and I realized that the thought of school wouldn't be as bad if he had been there to share it with me. I was sure we could do anything together. I groaned when I realized how stupid it was to keep hoping for something that might never happen. I shook my head as if to rid it of hopeless thoughts. Then my mind wandered to the visit from the Volturi and I decided that it might be a good distraction from Esme's misery. Carlisle needed to know soon, anyway.

"Please don't be angry with me, Carlisle," I started. "I have something I need to tell you that I probably should have told you as soon as you came back from your honeymoon, but I just wanted you to be happy without having to worry for a while."

"What is wrong, Bella?" he asked, giving me a concerned sideways glance.

"While you were away I had some visitors," I started. "They knocked on the door one night and at first I didn't know who they were even though they said they were old friends of yours."

"Oh God, I'm sorry, Bella," Carlisle groaned, obviously knowing who would call themselves old friends of his. "They didn't hurt you, did they?"

I shook my head. "It was Aro and Jane. They asked politely for you, but they came for me just like you predicted. Aro wanted me to join their Guard. I declined of course but it was strongly implied that he will ask again. They also both tested their powers on me, but I had already put up my shield as soon as I sensed them in the area."

Carlisle swore under his breath, something I had never heard him do before. Obviously Esme hadn't either because she gasped. "I'm sorry, honey. I would have never forgiven myself if something had happened to you. It was unacceptable to leave you alone for so long. It won't happen again."

"Carlisle, you're being ridiculous," I said stubbornly. "I will admit that I was scared and very uncomfortable when they were at the house, but if you are seriously apologizing for going on your honeymoon, then I will not only be angry, but also very disappointed. I was on my own for a long time before I met you as you very well know. I can take care of myself and I only told you because we have no secrets from each other."

"We will protect each other in this family," Carlisle's voice was firm.

"And we will _not_ take family members with us on our honeymoons," I said just as firmly.

At that Esme actually giggled in the backseat making both Carlisle and I smile. But then her mood shifted again. "I'm sorry," she said. "I shouldn't find this amusing. I'm a murderer and have just uprooted our family, evil vampires want Bella for their assassin army and…"

"Esme, please stop," I begged. "Everything is going to be fine, trust me."

Carlisle took an amazingly deep breath; it was almost funny. "Esme. Isabella. I promise you that I will always do my best to protect you. Always."

"We protect each other," I said.

"I'm doing the opposite of protecting you," Esme said miserably. "I'm sorry."

"Esme…" Carlisle started, but I interrupted. "_Mom_. I love you more than anything, but if you apologize one more time I am going to run the rest of the way to Forks."

Esme gasped and Carlisle beamed. I smiled as I relaxed back in the seat.

***

Forks was small and wet and green. Very green. And absolutely perfect. Our new house was deep in the forest far from the road. Esme perked up considerably when she saw it even though it wasn't much to look at. It was big and most importantly to Esme – it had a lot of potential.

"I feel like I'm being rewarded for being a monster," she complained. Carlisle laughed lightly and hugged her and I had to turn my gaze away from them and their obvious happiness. I was happy for them, but sometimes it was difficult to watch when my own heart was in pieces.

Esme started the restoration on the house and before long it looked nothing like it's old self. Part of the façade, the entire backside of the house facing the river, was replaced with glass and made the inside of the house a paradise of light – such irony for vampires that it made me smile. An honest to God smile that made me feel almost alive.

"You really have an amazing talent for this," I praised Esme, making her smile as well.

As the house was taking shape, I was going stir crazy. Esme had the house to work on and Carlisle had his job at the hospital and I had nothing. I buried myself in books, learning languages and facts that I would never get to use. I trawled the surrounding forest searching for something I didn't know what was. I spent hours upon hours wondering if it was worth it – then even more hours scolding myself for wanting to give up. I realized that I was setting myself up for the deepest of depressions, not filling my life up with things to take my mind off the fact that Edward was continuing to break my heart every second he was not by my side.

For the first time my life – or lack thereof – was monotonous. And I did not know how to change it. That fact alone confused me. Where was the independent vampire who had survived alone for years? Surely becoming part of a family did not mean that I had to be a slave of it, with no will of my own. I retorted to the most logical thing my brain could come up with. I banged my head into a tree. – Causing the tree to smash into the garage several yards away. That made me sure: I was losing my mind.

Then I met Ephraim Black and I could only wish for the dull and uneventful back. I was hunting when I caught the scent of something so repulsive that I dropped the deer that I had just sunk my teeth into. It smelled like a wet dog, only a hundred times worse. – And it came closer. I had never smelled anything so vile and whatever it was, I did not want to lead it towards the house. But I also did not want to face it alone.

In the end I just stayed still, putting up my shield even though I knew I would definitely not be facing a vampire. I heard them before I saw them. Everything inside of me told me to run away as fast as I could, but nevertheless I stayed rooted to the spot, watching in amazement as two large wolves appeared slowly, almost hesitantly, between the trees. Right behind them was a tall dark skinned man with long black hair wearing only a loin cloth. He looked like he was out walking his dogs, only the _dogs_ were the biggest wolves I had ever seen or even heard of.

The wolves bared their teeth and growled at me. I instinctively crouched down but suppressed my own growls. The man behind the wolves was looking at me strangely, but most of my attention was on the wolves. I took a second to ask myself why – wolves were animals; they were my prey – why did these two _stinking dogs_ appear so different?

"What is wrong with your eyes, leech?" the man asked, making my head whip up in shock. _Leech?_ What did he know? How did he know?

"I asked you a question, bloodsucker," he pressed. "Why are your eyes different?"

Still crouched I turned my attention away from the wolves fully. I cleared my throat. "I heard you," I replied coldly. "But my eyes are not your concern."

The man surprisingly laughed. "You may think differently when we rip you apart and burn the pieces."

"Why would you do that? You do not know me and I have done nothing to you."

"Are you stupid?" the man sneered. "I thought your filthy kind were supposed to be _wise. _Has it not always been customary for mortal enemies to kill each other? And you, leech, are out-numbered."

The two wolves' growling increased and fear shot through me until I felt a new presence behind me. "The numbers are even, actually," Carlisle's honey-smooth voice said and half a second later he was at my side. He gave me a quick glance as Esme came to stand on my other side. I relaxed just a little.

"It does not matter," the man said. "We will still kill you. But first you answer the question."

"_First_," Carlisle corrected. "We behave like civilized beings and introduce ourselves. I am Carlisle Cullen. You have already met my daughter, Isabella, and this is my wife, Esme."

"Civilized? How is it civilized to kill people by sinking your filthy teeth into their necks and drinking their blood?"

"We do not kill people or drink their blood," Carlisle answered. "We hunt animals, much like you I am sure."

"And as for civility, we surpass you it seems as you have not yet introduced yourself," I could not help but throw in.

"I am Ephraim Black," the man said grudgingly. "My tribe, the Quileutes, protects this area from _creatures_ such as yourself. We descend from wolves and transform into our original forms when leeches enter these lands. We do not normally talk to leeches, we only hunt and kill them."

"I assure you that you need no protection from us, Ephraim Black," Carlisle said. "As I said, we only hunt animals, hence the golden color of our eyes."

"And I should just take your word for it? No offence, but you are a filthy bloodsucker and I cannot trust a word you say."

"That is your decision to make," Carlisle allowed. "I will do much to avoid a fight because we prefer to live in peace, but I will protect my family if I have to."

"Family," Ephraim huffed. "Peace?"

"I have worked as a doctor for many years," Carlisle said. "I have developed a restraint that allows me to do good. If I hunt – for animals – regularly then I am not tempted by human blood at all."

"Are you trying to tell me that you have never killed anyone?"

"Yes," Carlisle said and I admired how he only twisted the truth a little. Technically he had killed Edward and Esme but they would have died anyway which was the only reason he had done it. And he had not killed them as much as given them eternal life. This was one lie I supported wholeheartedly.

Ephraim looked at me and then at Esme. "And you two – have you killed anyone?" I bit the inside of my cheek, worrying that Esme's not completely clean record would destroy what little faith Ephraim Black and his two wolves seemed to be gaining in us.

"I have never tasted human blood, nor have I ever wanted to harm a human being" I replied truthfully. "Like Carlisle I have worked in hospitals for many years and have the same restraint as he does."

Ephraim huffed as if not believing me and then turned to Esme. My heart went out to her and I wished her slip-up was not the reason we were here in Forks.

"I…" Esme looked heartbroken. "I killed a woman. I did not mean to and I will regret it forever."

Ephraim Black said nothing but studied us closely after Esme's admission. He seemed to be having an internal battle with himself about whether or not to believe us. The wolves were looking at him as well, and I took a moment to try and come to terms with the fact that these stinking dogs could actually kill us. I had always believed that only other vampires could kill me and I wished someone had told me that I apparently had mortal a mortal enemy. It was a useful fact to be aware of.

The silence was beginning to bother me when Ephraim Black finally got a decisive look in his eyes and mumbled a few Quileute words to the wolves. I wondered if they meant 'attack' or 'go home' as all muscles in my body tensed.


	11. Treaty and Deceit

Huge thanks to Mysterious Angel-05 (you are a delight!), rohan65, CullenGrl255, Sadie1787, aerobee82, SaraCGeorgeBob and Hayleey for the reviews. The angst will fade soon, I promise. :)

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

**11**

**Treaty and Deceit**

It appeared that we had convinced Ephraim Black and his stinking dogs that we were not regular vampires and would not be killing any of the fine folks of Forks. The Quileute way of sorting out the situation was surprisingly not to attack us, but to get out pen and paper. I was surprised.

A treaty happened. We were not allowed to bite any humans and the Quileutes would keep our secret. We would live in peace on each side of the border between our lands. It sounded good. Carlisle was satisfied but something inside of me stayed alert. I did not trust the wolves, treaty or no treaty, and I started longing for the day we would have to leave Forks.

***

"Bella, would you mind if we put the piano in the garage?" Carlisle asked me casually one afternoon when Esme was having us move furniture all over the house. I narrowed my eyes at the question. It was _too_ casual.

"Why?"

"Well, none of us play and I am sure Esme could use the space for something. It is rather…big."

_None of us play_ swirled around in my head. _None of us_. Such small innocent words, yet they were daggers to my already broken heart. Edward was not one of us anymore, but to me…he was everything.

I looked at the piano, trying to suppress the feelings that bubbled up inside of me when I thought about all the times Edward had melted my soul with his beautiful music. "I…" my voice caught and I realized that I did not know what to say. I did not want the piano to be anywhere else than right in the middle of the living room waiting for Edward to come back. But Carlisle's words – _none of us play_ - showed me all too clearly that his usual words to me; _he will be back, Bella. Have faith, Bella. You never know, Bella. Keep believing, Bella. Trust him to come back, Bella. _– They were all empty phrases probably only serving the purpose of keeping me from breaking down. I felt deceived by the one person I had never expected to hurt me.

Carlisle must have picked up on what I was feeling. "Bella honey, I am only trying to look out for you. You know that, don't you?"

I shook my head helplessly, biting my lip from crying out from the pain shooting through me. I turned on my heel and ran out of the house. I ran across several state borders before I stopped. I had no concept of whether it was day or night, but I did feel the rain and the wind against my face, the rain drops being poor substitutes for tears on my cheeks. My big breakdown over Edward's absence came years too late, but it hit me hard.

I stayed away a few weeks. I would have roamed around longer wallowing in my misery and trying to put myself back together in peace but my conscience did not allow it. I could not do to Carlisle what Edward had done and I certainly could not do it to Esme either. I had to return home no matter how unprepared I felt for it – I had to return home to my family.

When I came back it was to my parents' open arms and a piano still in the living room. "I'm so glad you're back, Bella," Esme said, hugging me so close that I couldn't have breathed if I needed to.

"I'm sorry, honey," Carlisle said, hugging me too. "I was trying to help you but obviously did the opposite. I am really sorry."

I attempted a smile since I did not know what to say. I eyed the piano and had to bite my lip in order to keep all my bottled up emotions in check.

Life settled into some kind of routine. I had thought about going to school but ended up staying home with Esme. She did not need me for anything else but company but I suddenly had no desire to going through the trouble of keeping up a human façade all day. I had gotten out of the habit and it was difficult to see a clear way back into it. In some ways I missed working in hospitals and helping people but if I was honest with myself I was not sure how much good I could be to anyone when I was nothing but an empty shell. Time and time again I would drift off in a pain free dream losing all hold on the reality around me and it was so hard to snap out of it.

I roamed the forest at night although Carlisle didn't like it. "I really wish you would let Esme or I go with you when you hunt. I don't like that you are out there alone with the wolves so close by," he worried.

"I never go anywhere near the border. I am not bothering them, so they have no reason to bother me," I said. "And if you are honest, you know what you and Esme like the time alone just as much as I like my time alone."

"Bella, you really are going overboard in your attempt to give Esme and me privacy. Sometimes I almost wish that you were the teenage girl that you look like."

I rolled my eyes at him – just to show him that I could do teenage girl if that was what he wanted. "Would it help if I threw a tantrum?"

Carlisle chuckled. "Just be careful, please."

"Always, Daddy," I smiled and kissed his cheek.

And then I ran out the door, briefly considering to slam after me it teenage style, but figured Esme would appreciate it if I didn't. It was twilight, my favorite time, because it reminded me of all the grey shades of life. Nothing was ever either or.

I had trawled the forest so often that I was familiar with most of it already, though on this particular night I stumbled across the most exquisite spot I had ever seen. It was a meadow nestled in between the trees as a sparkling green jewel. It was round with knee high grass and a variety of wild flowers. There was also a small pond complete with rushes swaying in the gentle breeze and pale pink water lilies.

I stood in the middle of the meadow and felt peace invade me. I could not remember the last time I had felt so peaceful and relaxed, so I sank down and basked in the unfamiliar sensation cursing through my body. I stayed there all night, reveling in the beauty which the moon light only enhanced. It was not often that the cover of clouds allowed the moon to come out and play in Forks but when it did, the beauty of the sun paled in comparison.

The following nights I came back to the meadow, even one night when it rained from twilight till dawn. I wished I could share the beauty of the place with Edward – and when that thought had entered my mind it ruined everything. I found myself unable to enjoy the beauty and tranquility any longer and suppressing a sob I ran from the meadow as fast as I could.

I ended up out at the coast. It was a stormy night and the wind tugged at my hair as I watched the waves crash onto the sand before me. Out of habit I looked around although it was painstakingly clear that no one was out in the middle of a stormy night. Then I shed my clothes and ran into the waves. The current was strong but no match for my vampire strength, so I swam out onto the water until I could no longer see the shore. I stopped using my strength and allowed the waves to throw me around like a rag doll. The dark water swallowed me up but since I did not need to breathe, I simply went with it.

It was almost dawn when I returned to the beach. I let the wind dry me before I put my clothes back on, and then I sat down to watch the sun rise – a red ball of fire heaving itself from the ocean. It was beautiful and I finally let out the breath I had been holding since the meadow. My insides hurt – _I_ hurt.

Like a mental routine I attempted to banish Edward from my mind. I could have stopped to ask myself why I even tried because it never really worked, but I didn't.

"Bella?" The voice behind me made me jump and I cursed myself for being so wrapped up in my misery that I had let someone sneak up on me. Even if it was just Carlisle. I turned my head, looking questiongly up at him. Was he checking up on me?

"Good morning, honey," he offered me a smile and sat down next to me in the sand. "I was out on a quick hunt when I picked up your scent. I could not understand why it was leading to the beach. I had to see if you were attempting to catch a whale or something."

I had to smile at that, remembering the many conversations we had had about which animals we preferred when we hunted. One time he had me in stitches over a story of when he had been desperate enough to go after a walrus. It was still difficult to picture. Carlisle Cullen always preferred elegant animals, though no deer or mountain lion possessed even half the elegance he did himself.

"No whales," I said, looking back out over the water. "I just felt like coming down here."

"Well, a night swim never hurt anyone," he said, looking like his thoughts were far away. Then he suddenly brightened up and beamed at me. "Bella! You just made me remember something. Come on, let's go home." He grabbed my hand and pulled me up, dragging me through the forest while I made several attempts to find out what had possessed him. I had no luck.

When we got back to the house, he finally let go of my hand in the living room and ran upstairs like the devil himself was hot on his heels. Esme who had been leafing through a magazine stared after him for a few seconds before she turned to me for an explanation. Her eyes widened when her gaze landed on me and I realized that my hair was probably messed up from the water.

"Would you like to tell me what is going on?" she asked me. "Carlisle looks like someone is chasing him and you… Dear, have you been wrestling with a bear in the rain?"

I actually laughed at that. "I don't know what is going on with the good doctor, but I can tell you that I have not been wrestling bears. I took a swim in the ocean and the waves were quite big."

Carlisle came sprinting back down the stairs with a triumphant smile. "I found it!"

"What did you find, dear?" Esme asked with a tone someone would use with a toddler proudly showing off a soiled finger paint drawing. I suppressed a giggle.

Carlisle held out a flat, wooden box. I recognized it because he had had it since I first met him although he had never showed me the content. "This!" He exclaimed like it explained everything. I half expected Esme to pat him on the head and tell him what a good boy he was for finding such a nice box.

Carlisle opened the box and started unwrapping something from a piece of cloth. "When I found Bella on the beach I remembered one time in the Caribbean when I went pearl diving. I had seen the locals do it and I figured it would be easy for me to try out since I did not need to breathe. I was quite successful." He finally untangled something from the cloth and held out several strings of pearls. He took one and put the rest along with the box on the coffee table. He held the string out towards Esme. "May I?" He did not wait for a verbal answer, just smiled at the beaming smile on Esme's face. He put the string around her neck and clasped it under the low bun in which she wore her caramel colored hair.

Esme fingered the pearls, admiring them and hugged Carlisle and kissed him with so gently and lovingly that I had to look away for a moment. "They are beautiful, thank you," she said.

"I guess it was a good thing that I never gave up hope that I would some day find someone to give them to," Carlisle chuckled, but I could see the relief in his eyes. He picked up another string and held it towards me. I bit my lip, overwhelmed that he would include me. He probably read me like an open book because he gave me his most reassuring smile and clasped the pearls around my neck and stood back too look admiringly at Esme and I. He gave a theatrical sigh. "I should have known you two would outshine even the jewels of the sea."

Esme giggled and I shook my head and laughed.

"Thank you," I said him, giving him a hug. "I will treasure them always."

He suddenly turned serious. "No. Thank you, Bella. If I had not met you I would still have no one to parade these pearls around."


	12. Polaris

A big shoutout to jadesabre75, rohan65, , aerobee82, Mysterious Angel-05, Sadie1787, Love-waits-to-be-found and Hayleey - thank you for your amazing reviews. You all deserve your very own Edward! :)

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

**12**

**Polaris**

The warm blood flowed down my throat, warming me up from the inside. The night was cold and windy and it was overcast, leaving the moon and the stars above veiled. I was hunting alone, deciding that Esme and Carlisle deserved some privacy, and I had just sunk my teeth into the neck of a large mountain lion. After I had finished drinking it suddenly hit me that blood was the only taste I knew. Trying as hard as I could, I could not recall the taste of any kind of human food. I didn't know what I had liked and disliked as a human. Now blood was the Polaris of my damned life…at least when Edward wasn't around. And he wasn't.

I alternated between running at my top speed and wandering aimlessly in the forest. I was in no hurry to finish my hunt and I liked being alone in the dark, letting it wrap around me like a blanket. I felt neither the cold nor the warmth, so it did not make a difference to me. The dark, in which I saw as clearly as on a bright day, was my friend and hid me – shielded me from a world full of Carlisle's concerned eyes and Esme's motherly protectiveness.

Dawn was breaking when I approached the house. The scent assaulted my senses even before I caught the first glimpse of the white walls of the house through the trees. I gasped and froze and a million thoughts ran through my mind all at once.

Edward.

Edward was back.

After years of longing and hoping and wishing I suddenly had no idea how to react. I stood undecided among the trees and tried to sort through the emotions rolling through my body. If he was back for good, then I would be overjoyed. But if he was merely stopping by to say hello, then he was only going to break my heart all over again when he left. No one held a greater power of me than him. I remembered the intense kiss he had given me right before he left and I ached to be with him.

I realized that I needed to go back to the house. No matter what Edward was doing there, I still desperately needed to see him. So I stopped thinking and analyzing my emotions and did what heart told me to: I ran. I ran back to the house, not stopping until I was face to face with everyone in the world whom I loved.

Esme and Carlisle were seated next to each other on the couch, Edward occupying one of the chairs facing the door. I vainly wondered if it was so that he would see me as soon as I entered.

My voice had disappeared. I vaguely registered that Esme and Carlisle were smiling but my gaze had no choice but to fix on the devastatingly beautiful angel that had risen from his seat when I came in. My memory, although vampire perfect, had by no means done him justice. I staggered under the knowledge that the perfect creature in front of me was my life and that I would not fare well if he left again.

"Hello Bella." His voice was soft and velvet and perfect. I wanted to cry. I was a fragile porcelain doll in his mercy and he could break me into a thousand pieces with his voice alone. I didn't trust my own voice, even less when my eyes finally met his. The intensity of his gaze sent me to my knees and I let out a sob as I crumbled.

Edward was kneeling in front of me less than a second later, hurt blazing from his golden eyes. Electricity shot through me when his hand touched my arm and I nearly wished oblivion would find me.

"I'm so sorry," Edward whispered hoarsely. He stayed still in front of me while I composed myself as much as possible. When I dared to look back into his eyes, they were blazing with emotions as if trying to tell me all the truths in the world. I was suddenly doubting if I was strong enough for this, even if I was immortal and indestructible.

I stood back up, noticing that Esme and Carlisle had left. I made a conscious effort to keep my emotions in check, leaving the initiative of how this reunion was to play out to Edward.

"I…" Edward hesitated a little, avoiding my gaze. "I apologized for my behavior to Carlisle. Will you please let me apologize to you too, Bella?"

"You do not honestly expect me to deny you anything?" I said, feeling more tired than a vampire should be able to.

"You _should_ be denying me everything," Edward replied sadly. "But because I am selfish, I will take whatever you wish to offer."

I suppressed the words. I would offer him _everything_.

"I know I hurt you really bad when I left, Bella," he said softly. "But I really thought I was doing the right thing. I wanted you to be happy and at the same time I had this morbid urge to give into my thirst, justifying it by only going after monsters like myself. I honestly thought I had found some kind of universal answer to my big questions."

"You thought I would be happy without you around?"

"I thought you would be better off, yes," he confirmed.

"That's ridiculous," I said. "Edward, you must know… I mean, it has never been a secret that it was ultimately my decision to change you. Carlisle only did because he loves me and wanted me happy."

Edward was silent, intently staring out the window.

I watched the pain on his beautiful features and I couldn't stand it. I resigned myself to my weakness. "If you want my forgiveness, then it's yours. Do I have any hope of achieving yours?"

"Thank you, Bella. Your forgiveness means everything to me," he said seriously. "And I have nothing to forgive you for. I never blamed you for this existence, I only blame myself for my weak resistance."

"You're as bad as Esme," I scoffed. "You both need to understand that resistance is something that takes years and years to build up. You have both been very restrained as newborns, and you really should be proud of that."

Edward offered a smile that let me know that he was nowhere convinced. "She and Carlisle seem very happy," he smoothly changed the subject.

"They are," I nodded, feeling a little deflated after coming back down from my emotional turbulence. "They have both been through enough to appreciate love to its fullest."

Edward nodded thoughtfully.

"I couldn't stand it any longer. I simply had to know. "Edward, are you staying?"

"Only if you want me to," he replied, looking away again. "Carlisle and Esme generously said that I will always be family. But I want to do what is best for you. You deserve that."

"Stay. Please." The words flew out like a prayer.

He nodded shortly. I reached over and hugged him – needing him close if only for a moment. He froze at first, but then hugged me back tightly. Blood was no longer my Polaris.

***

It was clear that Edward had missed his piano. Carlisle had had it shipped with us and it had been a painful reminder to look at every day in the living room while Edward had been gone. It was such a release to resume my once favorite pose with my hands around my knees on the floor leaning my head back against the couch, listening while Edward got reacquainted with his music.

The music soothed me, relieving my body for years of tension. I took it all in greedily as unfamiliar tones started flowing from the keys. I felt the couch behind me sag and I knew the music had attracted Esme and Carlisle too. A moment later Carlisle's hand made contact with my shoulder and I knew exactly what his gentle touch meant: I told you he would be back. I smiled.

Edward played for hours, mostly one hauntingly beautiful new piece that I was sure I would never tire of hearing. Once he finally looked up, he seemed almost surprised at seeing us there. He looked a little sheepish.

"Sorry for intruding," Esme apologized without really looking like she meant it. "But I have never heard anyone play so beautifully."

"Don't apologize," Edward said. "I cannot just commandeer the living room. It felt really good to be able to play again, though. I am glad you enjoyed it."

"I did," Esme smiled. "Especially that last piece. You could be famous, Edward. Bella told me that you compose it all yourself."

The sheepish look returned on Edward's face. "I am just glad you enjoyed it, Esme. You inspired that last piece. I…I composed a piece for my mother long ago and you remind me of her."

Edward could not have said or done anything better for Esme. She went over to Edward and hugged him. I bit my lip as I watched the scene and then I turned my head, my eyes meeting Carlisle's. I knew he was thinking the same thing that I was: We had created a real family. Tears would have been streaming down my cheeks if I had been human and I grabbed his hand as he put it on my shoulder again.

"Who would have thought," he whispered. "A chance meeting in a hospital in New York and now… Unfathomable."

I squeezed his hand and noticed Edward and Esme looking at us from the piano bench. They didn't look like they knew exactly what was going on between Carlisle and I, but they clearly knew enough because they were both smiling.

***

"So, this acceleration power of yours…" Edward smirked at me one lazy afternoon. The sun was shining outside so Carlisle was stuck at the hospital until sunset. Esme was painting a bedroom upstairs and Edward and I were playing chess.

"What about it?" I asked.

"Well, how does it work exactly?"

"I haven't really had a chance to use it much," I shrugged. "Why? I distinctly remember you telling me never to accelerate your power."

"I might have changed my mind," he chuckled. "I am curious."

"How far away from can you read someone's thoughts?" I asked.

"About two miles, longer if it's a mind I know," he replied.

"It's about ten miles to the hospital. Maybe I can make you able to read Carlisle's thoughts," I said and held my hand out for him to take. "I need physical contact," I explained.

He took my hand and I did my best to ignore the electricity that ran though my body at the contact. I focused on my power and a few seconds later Edward chuckled. "Carlisle is going to hate us. His thoughts will never be safe again."

"Can you hear him?"

"As clearly as if he was right here next to us. He is alternating between musing over a diagnosis and cursing the sun for keeping him at the hospital when he would much rather be at home with Esme," Edward replied in awe. "Bella, your powers are amazing."

"Actually they are pretty useless when I am not around others with powers," I said. "But they do seem to compliment your power very well."

Edward squeezed my hand once before releasing it. "Yes, they do." The smile had left his face and I felt like banging my head into the wall – only, that would ruin the wall and Esme wouldn't be pleased.


	13. Hope For Every Fallen Man

Big big thanks for the reviews to the wonderful jadesabre75, rohan65, , IssyBell91, sweetness4683, Mysterious Angel-05, Sadie1787, aerobee82 and Rose18Marie. You guys are amazing. :)

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

**13**

**Hope for Every Fallen Man**

"Edward, will you play for us tonight?" Esme asked. I didn't need to hear his answer, because I knew he would never refuse Esme's request. I closed my book, putting it on the table and gliding from the couch to the floor where I put my arms around my knees and smiled at an amused Edward before leaning my head back against the couch with my eyes closed.

"I would love to, Esme," Edward finally answered.

He started out playing Esme's favorite. I let the music wash over me and imagined the beaming smile on my mother's face. Edward could wrap her around his little finger with that piece of music.

Then the music changed and the sweetest tones I had ever heard erupted from the piano. The music was breathtakingly beautiful, hauntingly sweet and…_familiar_ somehow although I was sure I had never heard it before. I felt it wrap around me like a warm blanket, caressing my skin and filling me up with…love. I was more peaceful than I had ever been.

"Oh Edward, that was beautiful," Esme gushed when the music ceased. "Is it new?"

"Not really," Edward admitted. "Bits and pieces of it have been swimming around in my head since the first time I played this piano after Carlisle got it for me."

"What was your inspiration?" Esme asked.

I looked up, curious about that as well. Edward had been looking at me apparently, but averted his gaze when his eyes met mine.

"It's stupid," he said. "But it's a lullaby. Even the first time I played Bella was in her favorite piano pose with her head back against the couch with her eyes closed. She looked so peaceful, almost like she was asleep. The music just seemed to drift into my head on it's own where it has been since. I thought it was about time I actually played it."

I stared at him. He was still looking anywhere but at me, but he seemed uncomfortable. "Please play it again," I begged and the smile returned to his beautiful face. When he had positioned his fingers on the keys he finally looked at me for a brief second. Then he started playing the lullaby again and this time I kept my eyes on him as he played. The way he played was just as beautiful as what he played.

"Thank you for my lullaby," I whispered to him when he had finished playing it. He smiled crookedly at me but said nothing. There were so many things I wanted to say – and just as many things I wished he would say to me. Instead he turned back to the piano and kept playing while I leaned my head back and listened. I had a feeling that the music helped heal Edward somehow, and if I was honest it healed me too because I knew it made him happy.

***

I had finally reached my limit and grown so restless that I was sure that I was going crazy. I was not supposed to be old enough to work at the hospital with Carlisle, so that only left going to school. - An option which in my deprived state sounded like heaven.

"I am enrolling in high school," I announced to my family a chilly summer night when we had returned from hunting. "I know I should probably have done it when we first got here, but I will just make up some kind of health problem to explain why I have not been going to school until now. I have not been spending a lot of time in town anyway."

"It's a good idea," Carlisle nodded. "I will help you with the health excuse."

"Thanks," I smiled.

Esme aw'ed suddenly and pouted slightly, making us all look at her amused. She suddenly looked a little embarrassed at having called attention to herself. "Oh you know me," she sighed with a small smile. "Among all my maternal fantasies there was one about fixing lunch for school and dabbing away proud tears at graduation."

"You can fix me lunch if you want to," I said with a bright smile, hugging her. "I will need it as a cover. And I am sure you can do a convincing dabbing even without the tears."

"Thank you, honey," she laughed.

I turned to look a very silent Edward. "So, are you going to make me do this alone? I will share my notes with you and you won't even have to sit with me at lunch."

He smiled crookedly and it was like the sun coming out from behind a dark cloud. "Keep your notes and sit with me at lunch and you have yourself a deal," he chuckled.

"Ooh, two lunches!" Esme squealed making us all laugh.

School started a month later and with packed lunches and cover stories that included my _medical_ problem and Edward's new arrival in town we walked into the high school. I was officially the younger sister of Carlisle and Edward was a cousin of Esme's.

Not being a part of the town's social life we received a lot of stares and everyone – even the teachers – talked about us behind our backs not having the slightest clue that we could hear it all. Edward also clued me in on their thoughts while we sat at lunch pretending to eat Esme's little lunch masterpieces.

I had not expected to make any friends, remembering how impossible that quest had been when I worked as a nurse. That was the thing about being a vampire, as much as we lured humans with our physical beauty, we also scared them to a degree.

"It's probably a good thing, though," Edward admitted quietly one day at lunch. "This human charade is difficult enough for me as it is. It is nice to have the humans a few feet away for the lunch hour at least."

"Is it difficult in class?" I asked.

"Sometimes. But I guess it doesn't help that I am distracted by their thoughts," he wondered out loud. "It is good practice, though. Even in these few weeks I can feel that I have gotten a lot better at blocking everyone out."

"My offer to shield you always stands," I said softly.

"I know," he smiled crookedly. "Thank you. But I need to learn to deal with it. Nothing will ever be as pleasant as being alone with you, though. You are my peace and quiet."

I could only smile while damning the ridiculous amount of power he had over me. - And in the middle of a teenage crowded cafeteria, no less.

School became a comfortable routine. I did not learn anything that I did not already know, but I liked the structure it offered. I doubted Edward learned anything new either, and if by chance he came across something unfamiliar, he could always pick out the correct answers from the teacher's head. He took school as a challenge to fit into a human society for the first time and he admitted that he wanted to go to medical school at some point. I had never seen Carlisle as proud as when he heard that. School was beneficial for the parents as well.

School also gave me an unexpected opportunity to observe Edward's spectacular dazzling skills. I had always thought that I was the only one he could make want to jump through hoops with one single look, but I was pleasantly surprised to discover that I was wrong. Edward could get out of anything if he wanted.

"That is not true, Bella," Edward chuckled when I accused him of it. "I just have solid arguments."

"Oh please, you have no use for arguments," I huffed. "You could convince the principal to close down the school for the day without any arguments at all. One dazzling look and everyone is putty in your hands."

The beaming smile on Edward's face told me he had been underplaying how aware he was of what I was saying and I smirked. "Does that include you?" he asked.

"Yes," I admitted. "I can only shield my mind from you." I wondered if the hidden meaning was lost on him or not. He did not say anything, but the smile stayed in place telling me absolutely nothing. I got frustrated. "Go on, have the principal close down the school and prove me right," I said.

"Eager to get home?" he chuckled.

"Eager to be right," I corrected.

He laughed and shrugged his shoulders before he got up from the lunch table. "As you please."

I timed him. Less than two minutes he was back, motioning for me to stand up. "It seems you are right," he said simply. Just then the principal's voice was heard above the cafeteria chatter, telling us that an impromptu safety seminar for the teachers was to take place that afternoon and that we had the rest of the day off. Beside me Edward chuckled as the cafeteria erupted in cheers.

***

"Edward, can I ask you a question?"

"You just did," he pointed out with a low chuckle. He closed his notebook around the pen he had been writing with – though what he had been writing I didn't know. We had so many secrets these days. "But go ahead," he continued. "- Two for the price of one."

"You don't have to answer because it really is none of my business. I will ask anyway, though, on the off chance you want to tell me…" I was hedging and I knew it. Edward looked like he knew it as well. "When you left… You said that you needed to rid the world of monsters worse than yourself… Well, did you? I mean, did you spend the entire time going after…whatever you want to call them…?"

I wasn't surprised at the uncomfortable expression that took up residence on Edward's face. I had expected as much and although I hated making him feel like that, then I also knew that I had to at least ask the question. If he did not want to answer, then it would be fine. At least that is what I told myself.

"Yes, that's what I did," he replied, shame and disgust oozing off him. "And you were right of course. I know you did not say it out loud, but… It did not make me feel better, it was not right and whereas I doubted before I now know that you and Carlisle have it all right."

"Maybe that was just your path to follow," I said softly.

"Good thing I'm not a guide, then. It was a lousy path," Edward sighed, running a hand through his hair.

"Does blood tempt you more now?" I asked, oddly curious.

He nodded. "But it is getting easier all the time."

"I don't think you are aware of how much will power you actually have," I said. "You and Esme are a lot alike like that. You don't realize how quickly you were able to intermingle with humans. It took me much longer."

"But you did it alone," Edward pointed out. "And you never once strayed."

"You made a conscious choice, Edward. Your will power would have made you stick to any decision you made. So it does not really count."

"Still. Your record is clean, mine is not."

I sighed, knowing he would not budge. I did roll my eyes at him, though.


	14. I'm Yours

Thanks to everyone who are reading and special thanks to Sadie1787, aerobee82, FatalAttractions, elisabeth2me, omichiri6183, lizandzackfan, xxAngelOfTwilightxx, sweetness4683, rohan65 and Mysterious Angel-05. I loved your reviews! :)

I have a suspecion that some of you have been waiting for this... Oh, and don't let the ending of this chapter confuse you. It's not the end.

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

**14**

**I'm Yours**

The stars had always fascinated me. I had spent countless nights flat on my back somewhere outside just watching the night sky beyond grateful for how the sea of light above made me feel so incredibly insignificant.

"I wish I could someday deserve to be with you," Edward said. I turned my gaze away from the sky above us. He was looking at me, the honesty blazing from his eyes so strongly that it scared me. "I wish there was just the smallest flicker of hope that I could become the kind of man who didn't have to be ashamed of loving you."

There were so many things I wanted to say, but his last sentence confused me more than anything. "Ashamed of loving me?"

"A monster like me hardly has the right to love an angel like you," he said and the ice in his voice made me feel cold for the first time as a vampire.

"I can't even begin to describe how utterly ridiculous you're being right now," I told him and felt him tense beside me. "I really hate the way you see yourself. It hurts when you put yourself down like that, Edward. But tell me something – if you really are such a terrible monster, then what am I for loving you?"

Edward said nothing, he just stared at me with such intensity that I could swear my long-dead heart fluttered for a fraction of a second.

"Tell me, Edward," I whispered. "If I am already yours, then why should you not deserve me? Why should you be ashamed of loving me?"

The sound that erupted from Edward was a strangled cry and I sat up, pulling him with me. I straddled his legs and put my arms around his neck. I ran my hands through his hair soothingly and looked into his eyes that were still blazing with unbearable amounts of emotions.

"Remember when you asked me if I believed in fate?" I asked and he nodded. "Well, then don't you realize that's exactly what we're fighting?"

"I was different back then," he said sadly. "I hadn't tainted myself."

I felt like shaking him or just beating some sense into his head. "Is that what this is about? Because if it is, then tell me right now how many humans you killed and I will go out and kill just as many and we will be equal."

"Don't even say that," he breathed horrified.

"Then what, Edward?" I asked, my voice breaking slightly. "You clearly want us to be together but you won't take the final step no matter what I say."

"Bella," he breathed. "If I give in just once and taste your sweet lips again, then I won't ever be strong enough to leave you. Not again."

"And that's a bad thing?" I gasped.

"It would be if you wanted me to leave at some point."

"Edward…why do I feel like you're not even listening to a word I say?" I sighed. "I don't ever want you to leave. I felt so hollow all the time you were gone. I had to keep telling myself that you would be back one day just in order to function."

"Maybe there's someone out there who actually does deserve you," he said.

"Oh, please," I scoffed. "Just tell me one thing. What do you want, Edward? - More than anything."

"You," there was no hesitation in his voice.

"Ask me what I want," I said.

"What do you want, Bella?"

"You," my voice was firm and I felt a glimmer of victory in the air.

I watched Edward battle with himself. It was an epic battle that could probably rival Somme or Verdun in intensity. Suddenly the fire in his eyes changed, the gold burning fiercer and clearer. The battle was over and in a fraction of a second I saw our shared future stretching out before me like an endless and straight highway.

I leaned slowly forwards until our lips were a mere centimeter apart. I stopped then, needing him to take the small final step. His breath was intoxicating and I fought to keep my eyes open.

"My beautiful angel," he whispered, "my Bella." He closed the distance between our lips and everything that was wrong in the world became right. _So_ right. Our moans mingled and Edward encircled my waist and pulled me closer. My hands knotted in his wild hair as the kiss deepened and our tongues dueled, a duel that was bound to last forever.

"Mine," Edward whispered when an eternity had passed and we had ended the kiss that had defined our very own piece of forever.

"Yours," I breathed, giggling happily when he trailed kisses from my jaw down my throat to my collarbone. Then he put some distance between our faces and looked into my eyes for a long time without saying anything. I stayed silent too, happy finally to be able to just _look_ at the perfection that was Edward.

"There are not words sufficient enough to describe how much I love you," he said after a long time where I had blissfully been losing myself in his golden eyes. They told me everything I would ever need to know. I knew how he felt, though. I would never be able to put the love I felt for him into mere words either. I lifted the shield from my mind and mentally flickered through all the times my love for him had guided me, comforted me and inspired me.

He breathed heavily as he took it all in. "I will never let you down again, Isabella. That I swear to you. You are my life."

Suddenly time sped up in a way I had never experienced before. It was such a devastating contrast to how my life had been when Edward had been gone and I was filled with gratitude that I had my love back. - And not just back, but along the way fulfilling all my dreams. Life was better than it had ever been.

I found myself regretting going to high school. I absolutely hated – _detested – _that my time with the man I loved was so limited. The nights were not long enough when I was so deliciously locked to Edward's lips, wrapped in his arms and showered with sweet words engulfed in that perfect, honey-dripping velvet voice of his.

School also became hell on earth because we could not show our newfound relationship. We had agreed that it would look weird and since graduation was only a few months away, we decided to just tough it out. I soon discovered that toughing it out roughly translated into 'the most difficult thing Bella has ever had to do'. Blood lust had nothing on Edward lust.

Spending our days being almost-siblings, we made the most of the nights. I showed him the meadow I had found just before he came back and it became our favorite place. We spent countless nights there, sometimes doing nothing but stare into each other's eyes. Perfection had made an appearance in my life and it was named Edward's Love.

"Patience is rewarded," Carlisle chuckled the first time he saw Edward and I get completely lost in each other's gazes. It made Edward frown but I gave him a kiss. "Whatever it is you are thinking right now, don't. Please. You were worth the wait."

"But Bella…"

"No," I shook my head stubbornly. "You do not get to be masochistic, self-loathing Edward right now."

"I am sorry," Carlisle said. "I was not intending my remark as a shot at you, Edward. Bella and I have just had to be very patient when it comes to happiness. We were alone long before you and Esme were even born. And in that sense patience truly is rewarded."

***

I never managed to find as much an ounce of pride for graduation. Edward seemed pretty indifferent as well, so it was fairly awkward being surrounded by the other students who acted like a high school diploma was the greatest achievement in life. It was a big day for Esme, though, as she got to play the part of proud mother, dabbing her eyes with a handkerchief although no tears would ever fall from her eyes.

The competitive side of Edward joined forces with the side of him that wanted to make Carlisle proud. He decided that he wanted to go to college so that he could pursue the medical degree that somewhere in his mind would prove that he was good enough. Good enough for me, good enough for our family and good enough for our lifestyle.

"You don't have to prove anything," I told him. "Least of all to me."

"I know," he said unconvincingly. But his mind was set on Princeton, so that was where we went. Carlisle and Esme stayed in Forks, but I followed Edward to New Jersey. I could not attend Princeton, it being an all boys club and all, so I decided to go back to working as a nurse at a local hospital.

It was surprisingly easy to slip back into the routines even though it had been a while since I had last used my nursing skills. The natural distance between me and my coworkers still existed but it had never really bothered me, and now that my life was filled with Edward, it bothered me even less. My faux husband – because that was the official label of our relationship; newlyweds so that we could live together without raising any suspicion – slipped easily into college life as well.

Edward might not have realized it, but the fact that Carlisle did not put up a fight about us going to New Jersey alone really proved how much he trusted Edward. Ever since my visit from the Volturi while Esme and Carlisle were honeymooning Carlisle had been playing the protective father and there was no way he would have let me go anywhere alone.

It was strange being away from Carlisle and Esme. Carlisle had been such a big part of my life for a long time now and I missed both him and Esme more than I was willing to admit. Edward knew, though.

"We can go back if you want," he said, combing his fingers through my hair as I relaxed against him one night.

"I'm fine," I promised him, turning around to look him in the eyes. "Really, I am. As much as I miss Carlisle and Esme, then when it comes down to it, you are all I need."

He smiled crookedly and gave me a slow and lazy kiss. "I promise you that I won't make you do this all the time. As Carlisle has said more than a few times, high school is probably where we will be spending most of our time. It is a small sacrifice to make when it means that we get to be with our family."

"Don't limit our options. We can do absolutely anything and we have forever to do it in."

"Mine," Edward whispered, his breath whispering against my neck.

"Yours."

Through it all my relationship with Edward blossomed. I secretly enjoyed being addressed as Mrs. Cullen even though the golden wedding band on my hand held no promises or wows. I did not know what the future had in store for us, but I knew that as long we were together it didn't really matter. And I also knew that we would find our way back to the other half of our family.


	15. Snowy Night

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Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

**15**

**Snowy Night**

I squealed. I took a fraction of a second to consider if I had ever squealed before, but then my concentration was lost as a snowball impacted on the side of my head and I squealed again. I ran as fast as I could across the clearing and kneeled down to make a snowball of my own. When I heard Edward approach I launched it, hitting him square in the chest. He had the arrogance to look surprised at my hit and I quickly scooped up some more snow, hitting him twice before he reacted and started running after me.

Edward was fast, but I managed to slip through the trees just ahead of him. Only when I reached the edge of the trees did he manage to catch up with me. We tumbled down into the snow, entangled in each other, rolling down a hill while our laughter drifted through the dark forest.

Edward landed on top of me at the foot of the hill. A deep chuckle rumbled in his chest that was pressed against mine and I lost my unnecessary breath when our eyes locked. All the truths in the world swam in his golden eyes and I found myself getting lost in finding the ones I was searching for.

There were tiny snowflakes on his eyelashes. I wiped them away with the tip of a finger and then I framed his beautiful face with my hands, slowly bringing it down to my own face. I smiled when we were mere inches apart because there was a glint in Edward's eyes that told me that he had something else than just a simple kiss planned. Out of the corners of my eyes I watched his hands because there was no way I was letting him distract me so that he could shove a handful of snow in my face. He had already done that twice tonight.

There was no snow involved in his plan, however. He dipped his head down to my jaw and placed the flightiest of kisses there. "It seems impossible that such beauty exists in this imperfect world," he said softly, tracing my right eyebrow with his index finger. "And yet, here I am…getting helplessly lost in said beauty. You are too beautiful to be real, Isabella."

I briefly entertained the thought of kneeing his groin just to prove to him how real I was, but settled on a sharp tickle to his side. "Oh, I'm real. You on the other hand must be the only vampire in existence with a vision problem."

"Don't ruin the compliment," he scolded me.

"Why don't we just call it what it is – a delusion."

"Are you calling me delusional?" he smirked, raising a perfect eyebrow.

"Yes. But I love you anyway."

"At least that's something," he sighed dramatically. "You completely ruined the moment, though, you know."

"Did I?" I giggled, enjoying his weight on top of me. "Then it's a good thing that you're adorable even when you whine."

"I do not whine, Isabella," he growled.

I laughed. "Yes, you do."

"For your information I was about to be very, very romantic," Edward informed me, rolling away from me, feigning boredom. He even managed a fake yawn that looked incredibly ridiculous since he was, after all, a never-sleeping vampire.

"Well, at least you're entertaining, since it didn't work out with the romance," I giggled.

Edward's face bore a smirk but it slowly faded – _agonizingly_ slowly – making me wonder what would come after it. There was an overwhelming intensity in his eyes as he looked at me. "Marry me, Bella," he finally breathed.

My eyes widened.

"I know that I will never really deserve you, but I have realized that I am too selfish to care anymore. I just need you to be mine. That is all I will ever need and I promise to spend the rest of eternity making you happy."

"Yours," I told him breathlessly. "Always have been, always will be."

"Mine," he agreed with the biggest smile I had ever seen on his face. He rolled half on top of me again and gave me the most tender kiss filled with so much love that it made my tear ducts want to function again. He had obviously been prepared – _and he had said that we were going hunting, ha_ – because when we broke apart he produced a small velvet box from his pocket.

"I can't wait to replace that fake wedding band with a real one," he told me. "But until then…" He opened the box and took the ring out before I could see it. He grabbed my hand and brought it to his lips, kissing each finger before sliding the ring onto my finger. "Perfect," he breathed.

It was beautiful. A golden band held a heart-shaped diamond and four small emeralds on each side of the larger rock. It captured the moonlight, reflecting it much brighter than the snow around us and I couldn't imagine a more gorgeous reminder that my dream of being with Edward was officially coming true.

"It's beautiful, Edward," I whispered, looking from the ring on my finger to his beautiful, beaming face. "Thank you. Thank you for coming back to me."

A hint of sadness flickered in his eyes, but the smile stayed on his face. "I couldn't stay away, even when I thought you would be better off. You know how selfish I am."

"It's not selfish to want happiness. If you had stayed away, then neither of us would have been happy. And now look at us. Edward, do you have any idea how ridiculously happy you make me?"

"I hope it's as happy as you make me," he said softly.

***

We went home to Esme and Carlisle in Forks for Christmas. It was wonderful to see them again and they were thrilled when we shared the news of our engagement. They were not surprised as Carlisle already knew Edward was going to propose and Esme claimed that she had just _known_ it would happen sooner or later.

Esme had gone slightly overboard in her attempt to welcome us home for the holidays. She had transformed the house into a Christmas Wonderland, no door openings void of mistletoe, holly and spruce everywhere and she had apparently raided all the stores in town for decorations.

"I just wanted it to be nice for when you came home," she defended her new Christmas obsession. "You can't imagine how much I have missed you."

"We missed you too, Esme," I assured her. "It's strange being apart from you and Carlisle."

The very same night as we came back to Forks, Edward sat down at the piano with a deep and heartfelt sigh. His long white fingers caressed the keys without pressing down on them and I bit my lip watching the happiness on his face. I was already seated on the floor with my back against the couch and arms around my knees, and Esme was seated behind me next to Carlisle. We were as anxious for him to start playing as he was.

He played Esme's favorite first and then my lullaby. Carlisle mumbled something about needing a trick like that because it might come in handy knowing how to wrap the Cullen ladies around his little finger. Edward laughed that wonderful carefree laugh at that, continuing to play just about every Christmas carol known to man…and vampire. He played most of the night and our attention never wavered for a second. When he played a simple carol he made it sound like magic woven by a herd of fairies – like a whole orchestra was hidden somewhere accompanying him – like he had discovered the true essence of Christmas and was letting us, mere immortals in on the secret.

On Christmas morning I found myself in the meadow with Edward. It was just before dawn and there was snow in the air. I was seated, leaning against a tree and looking up at the stars slowly disappearing as a new day neared. Edward was lying down with his head in my lap and I was absentmindedly running my fingers through his hair. We hadn't spoken for hours, so I almost jumped when Edward's voice penetrated the silence.

"I hate being without you, even if it's only to go into another room. I hate not seeing you, even if it is only to blink my eyes to appear human."

The statement was fairly random although that was how Edward worked sometimes, seemingly voicing stray thoughts out loud. He was staring up at me when I turned my attention away from the sky and a wide smile overtook my face as I leaned down to kiss him.

"I am yours forever," I whispered against his lips and felt him smile. "Forever and ever and ever…" We got lost in a haze of kisses and whispered declarations of love. The darkness disappeared from the sky and gave way to the day and we were still locked at the lips.

"We should probably get back before Esme sends for the army to drag us back to her elaborate Christmas festivities," Edward finally sighed.

"You love her coddling just as must as I do," I grinned.

"I do, yes. It's just that I enjoy kissing you even more, so you can no doubt see my predicament."

I nodded. "But it's only Christmas once a year and you just ensured yourself an eternity of Bella kisses, so we really should go and be good kids for our beloved mother."

Edward sighed, but stood up. He took my hand as we walked back towards the house. "The mere thought of an eternity of Bella kisses kind of makes me drunk," he admitted with a grin.

I couldn't even begin to describe how an eternity with Edward made me feel. The ring on my finger held the promise of what I had always been too afraid to even hope for. I was thankful that Edward seemed to be able to make sense of the jumbled mess that was my thoughts when I lifted my shield because there was no way I could put my feelings for him into actual words.

On our way back to the house we met Carlisle who was sitting on a boulder shaking with laughter. At our bemused looks, he explained. "I love Esme dearly and I have taken this whole Christmas obsession pretty well if I do say so myself. I didn't try to talk her out of the mistletoe hanging everywhere, I accepted the fact that each step I take in the house involves the risk of stepping on some sort of decoration and like the dutiful husband I am, I helped her wrap those damn garlands around _everything_. But…" he started laughing again.

"What?"

"My dear wife is currently making gingerbread," he replied as seriously as he could.

"Gingerbread?" Edward questioned. "Why?"

Carlisle shrugged. "It can't be for eating, so I really don't have any idea. It just kind of broke me. I had promised myself to take whatever she threw at me this Christmas, but the gingerbread was a bit too much. I had to get out of the house before I started laughing."

"Good call," I giggled. "But are you about done laughing? We should go back."

"I think so," he grinned. "As long as she doesn't make us taste them."

We walked back together, a snicker erupting every so often from one of us. When we came close enough for Edward to read Esme's thoughts, he smiled softly. "We really can't laugh at her. She just wants to make a perfect Christmas for us. And if she asks us to taste the damn cookies, we should. If nothing has ever been made with love, it's Esme's gingerbread."


	16. We Do

A big thank you to jadesabre75, Mysterious Angel-05, rohan65, FatalAttractions, Sadie1787, marisa holguin, aerobee82, sweetness4683 and lotusblomsten for the wonderful reviews. :)

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

**16**

**We do**

Edward and I said our wedding vows in the garden with the threat of snow looming over our heads. It seemed appropriate with a winter wedding after the way he had proposed. We waited till Edward had finished medical school and Esme and helped me plan the small ceremony at our new home in Valentine, Nebraska.

Carlisle and Esme had been living there for almost a year and Edward and I would be joining them after our honeymoon. Although eager to start a new chapter of our life together, we were also ready to be back home with Esme and Carlisle. The years apart had been a nice change, but now we all knew that what we wanted the most was to be together. It was more than just about security, and at least for Carlisle and myself, there was an ever present gratitude for the luxury it was to be surrounded with loved-ones.

Esme had also helped me with my wedding dress. I had known exactly what I wanted and my mother was surprisingly good with a needle and thread. The result was a white embroidered silk gown with Irish lace on the sleeves and veil. It hugged my body and flared out in a wide skirt below my hips. I wore emeralds around my neck and wrist and in my ears. They were a gift from Edward and like the emeralds in my engagement ring, I knew the sentiment behind – I had long ago confessed to loving the piercing green eyes Edward had when he was human.

When I took a final look in the mirror after getting ready, Esme stood behind me and sent me a dazzling smile. "No bride could ever look more beautiful than you, Bella."

"You're my mother, you're supposed to think that," I smiled.

That made her smile even more and she handed me my bouquet – white freesias and roses. "Anyone with eyes thinks that," she stated. "And Edward will – rightfully – know that no one in this world is luckier than him. You have no idea how special you are, Isabella Cullen. We often take your selflessness and love for granted, but you truly are a blessing to all of us."

I took a deep breath. "No matter how hard you try, then I really can't cry, you know."

"Oh hush, child," she laughed. "I am only telling you the truth. Now go before you make Edward the first vampire in history to have a heart attack from stressing out."

I said my _I do_ while lifting my shield and telling Edward through my thoughts that everything that was me was his forever. The breathtakingly beautiful smile on his face told me a thousand stories of happiness, love and forever and my breath caught when he said the words.

"I do."

Everything came together then. I had my forever with the man I loved more than anything. And the way he looked at me showed me with all kinds of clarity that he felt exactly the same. Our lips met and the union was official. I was Edward's wife and I knew that I never wanted to be anything else.

"Yours," I whispered.

"Mine," Edward whispered. "I love you, Isabella."

"I love you too, Edward. More than anything."

Esme came over to hug us after Carlisle had given up holding her back. "Congratulations, dears. I am so happy for you," she cried, no doubt hating that she couldn't produce a few tears to make her day complete.

"I cannot put into words how happy I am that this day is happening. It is all I ever wanted for you," Carlisle told us, looking as emotional as I had ever seen him. "Bella, I saw it in your eyes the first time I saw you with Edward… It was so beautiful and it made me believe love can beat any odds. Now I know it's true."

"Even if it did take much too long," Edward said wryly.

"How many times must I remind you of the conversation we once had about fate?" I chided him with a smile. "I have no doubt that it was fate that put us on the path that led us to this day. So whatever happened was meant to happen."

"I won't argue with you," Edward smiled. "Because the end result is what I want it to be. You are mine."

***

Edward carried me up the sandy beach and all the way across the threshold into the spacious and tastefully decorated cabin on Isle Esme which we had graciously been allowed to borrow for our honeymoon. The light from the moon reflected in his eyes and the intensity there was breathtaking. I had never seen so many emotions conveyed in a single look before and I couldn't even begin to decipher them all. The one that stood out was love, however, so I decided that the rest were unimportant for now. _Anything_ but Edward was unimportant.

He set me gently down onto the floor, but I kept my arms around his neck, bringing his lips down to mine. His arms snaked around me and I felt him start on the row of small buttons on the back of my dress. I ran my fingers through his hair before sliding my hands down his neck and down his chest. I still couldn't believe that he was officially mine. _Forever._ I pushed his jacket over his shoulders and he let go of me momentarily so I could slide it all the way off. I untied his tie and threw it across the room and unbuttoned his shirt, taking the opportunity to kiss the skin as I uncovered it. Edward moaned under my touch, but then growled as I interrupted him again to slide the shirt down his arms. I giggled.

My dress fell to the floor and Edward took my hand so I could step out of it. "You are a goddess, Isabella," he said softly, pulling me towards him and crashing his lips to mine again. I ran my fingertips over his hard chest loving how the muscles flexed under my touch.

It was difficult to think straight with Edward's hands exploring my body – his touch set my skin aflame and a raging fire was quickly spreading inside me. Fighting – and enjoying…enjoying it _so_ much – a haze of desire, I managed to undo his pants. Hissing at my touch he grabbed my hips and pressed me even closer against him. I gasped as I felt his hardness against my lower stomach, but Edward swallowed my gasp, capturing my lips again.

Rationally I knew it wasn't possible, but since I was way beyond rational at that point, I desperately tried to get closer to him. A strangled cry erupted from my abandoned lips as Edward moved his mouth moved down my throat, kissing, sucking and biting until his tongue trailed a path down the valley between my breasts. I arched my back when he clamped his mouth and teeth on my nipple through the lace of my bra. One hand reached behind me, undoing the offending piece of cloth. His mouth left my skin briefly as the bra was flung across the room only to clamp down on my other nipple while his thumb teased the other.

Edward straightened back up, looking into my eyes with a delightful mixture of lust and love blazing from his own eyes. His hands cupped my breasts and I grabbed his head, lowering it so I could kiss him again. I nibbled on his lower lip, teasing him as he teased me until his chest rumbled with a trapped moan.

Making quick work of the rest of the clothes keeping us from feeling skin on skin, Edward picked me up again and placed me on the bed. He kneeled on the edge just looking at me, eyes darkening. "Sweet merciful…you are just beautiful all over, Isabella Cullen."

I smiled. The way he looked at me really did make me feel beautiful. And the view was magnificent. His skin shone like silver in the moonlight and the way he stood perfectly still for a second made him look like a statue of Adonis. I was _so_ ready to worship him. I beckoned him up to me with a finger and he grinned as he gracefully crawled towards me looking like a lion ready to pounce.

His body covered mine and our lips fused again as our hands explored. The feeling of his skin against mine was amazing. The fire in my body raged on and I arched up into my new husband when his lips left mine and ventured down to my neck. "Mine," he whispered as his lips reached my earlobe, nibbling on it.

"Yours," I managed with a breathless sigh. Then a loud moan escaped me as his fingers danced up my inner thigh and finding their way to my heated _wet_ core, exploring further. I clung to him as he sent me toppling towards the peak of the most intense feeling I had ever experienced.

"Edward…" I gasped, arching up against him. He grinned before moving his mouth down to my nipples. When he bit down gently I saw stars and a soundless scream bubbled up through my throat. As I rode out the orgasm, Edward's mouth returned to mine, alternating between kissing me and telling me how beautiful I was.

When the stars had faded from my vision, I kissed him back hungrily. There was only him in my world – his scent, the weight of his body on top of mine, the feel of his skin against mine, his eyes looking down on me and the sound of his unnecessary but heavy, sexy breathing. Our eyes locked and I nodded in response to his unasked question, feeling him against me between my legs.

He entered me slowly and the feeling was unbelievable. I gasped at the intimacy and intensity of the situation. Edward misunderstood and drew back, but I grabbed his face and brought it down to my own. I looked into his eyes and lifted my shield, hating that I hadn't though of it before. It took concentration, so I didn't know if I could keep doing it, but I was going to try. Edward smiled and pushed forward again, slowly burrowing himself fully in me. He let out a groan and I was sure I had never heard a more beautiful sound.

The pace was unhurried and the feelings overwhelming. Gasps and kisses and moans mingled in the quiet night and the moon was the only witness as our love overflowed and exploded. Edward quickened his pace slightly and I arched again, clawing at his back. It took forever but no time at all before I felt myself flying free once again, desperately clinging to Edward gasping breathlessly and feeling every muscle in my body sending my brain a million signals all at once. Edward thrust into me forcefully a few more times before more delicious groans erupted from his chest and he climaxed, jerking inside of me. I had a suspicion that vampires really could die and Edward and I had just killed each other and gone straight to heaven. Nothing in life could be _that_ good.

I reveled at the feeling of Edward on top of me as I slowly regained the use of my body and started tracing lazy patters on his back. Unfortunately he rolled off me, but cradled me to his chest as we lay on our sides.

"There are no words… No words in the world – in any language – to tell you how much I love you," he whispered. "_Mrs._ Cullen."

I smiled and kissed his chest, licking the skin right above his heart. "Yours," I said simply.

"Mine."


	17. Paint My Love

Once again a huge thank you to lumierediva, rohan65, FatalAttractions, aerobee82, Sadie1787, Mysterious Angel-05, sweetness4683, Yuki7 and Jaguarsolaris for the wonderful reviews. You guys make me smile. :)

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

**17**

**Paint My Love**

"It makes me feel very human to come home after a day's honest work and have my wife waiting for me," Edward laughed as I threw myself at him out on the porch and kissed his cheek. "Now where are my slippers and is dinner about ready?"

"You don't have any slippers and you sure as hell don't eat dinner. I will however go find your boots and go with you if you need to go hunting. Would that fulfill my domestic duties?"

Edward's crooked smile made an appearance and leaned down to kiss me. "It'll do. And yes, I do need to hunt."

Shortly after we were running through the forest and I asked Edward how his first day at the hospital had been like. After returning from our honeymoon on Isle Esme, we had spend another few months of nothing but newlywed bliss before Edward had taken on a position as a doctor at the local hospital where Carlisle already worked. "I just want to show that I can do it," he had said and although I found it completely unnecessary, I knew that he wanted to prove himself to Carlisle and myself. And if I was honest with myself, then I would support him in whatever he wanted to do.

"It was absolutely amazing and horribly agonizing all at the same time," he sighed, squeezing my hand. "You know how it is at first."

"But you did it," I smiled, prouder than if he had saved the entire world from being extinguished.

"Yes, I did," he grinned. "And tomorrow I'll do it again. I completely understand why you and Carlisle went this way and I am so impressed that you did it alone. I could never have done it without you, love."

"Sure you could," I replied. "If you had been alone too and forced to make the choice, you would still be where you are today. Any vampire with enough compassion to want to help their natural prey is guided by fate."

"Or they are just clinically insane," Edward laughed. "So Mrs. Cullen, what have you been doing all day? – Besides missing me of course."

I laughed. I_had_ missed Edward after spending every second of every day and every night with him for months. But I had also spent some time today being surprised with myself that the whole housewife business was not freaking me out as I had thought it would. It would be interesting to make the transition from housewife to high school student next time we moved. We had an amusing lifestyle. "Believe it or not, but I decided to take up a very housewifely hobby," I giggled. "But that's all I can tell you about it right now. I am going to surprise you all later."

"Well, you're certainly a tease," Edward complained.

"I try," I told him. "Now go get that mountain lion north of here."

He mock saluted me and ran off. I trailed after him, catching up with him in time to see him pounce on the animal and take it down with as much grace as if he had been dancing ballet. He drained it for blood and disposed of the carcass before joining me again.

"I probably have to hunt every night," he said, taking my hand. "I don't want to risk anything at the hospital. I wasn't _really_ tempted today even though I was exposed to my fair share of open wounds, but better safe than sorry, right?"

I nodded. "I'm proud of you." And I was. He had come so far, controlling both his thirst and his power and whether he realized it or not, then I knew that the years we had spent apart with him giving in to his most basic instincts had made him stronger in so many ways.

Edward thrived in his work and Carlisle was all kinds of proud of his _younger brother_ whom Edward impersonated these days. They grew a lot closer than they had been before, also discussing work in the free time. Edward also found use for his power because he assured us all that people often lied about the strangest things – some would exaggerate their pain and others would downplay it. Knowing their thoughts made it easier to help them.

After only a year working as a doctor, though, he had to accept that there was no way he could keep pretending to be ten years older than what his body looked to be.

"You don't have to leave Valentine already," he told Esme and Carlisle. "Bella and I can go our own way for a bit."

"Nonsense," Esme scoffed. "Carlisle and I have already decided to leave as well. We just got the two of you back, so you're not getting rid of again that easily."

***

Esme had been the one to find our new home, and I had to admit that it was the most charming place I had ever lived. We had chosen to relocate to Rochester, and a little over eight miles out of town my dear mother had found an abandoned mansion, perched on the bank of Lake Ontario and amazingly secluded. The forest was nearby, stretching out for miles and miles along banks of the lake. It was simply perfect.

Esme had the time of her life fixing the place up and it was truly amazing to see it change from day to day. There was no one like her who could create a home. Not just a pretty house, but a real home – and it really was the most amazing talent to have as a vampire who had to relocate every few years to avoid suspicion. It was certainly more useful than my rarely used powers.

When she started decorating the living room, I asked her to reserve a spot on the wall above the fireplace. I had been fiddling around with a new hobby since we had come back from our honeymoon and I figured that a new home was a good opportunity to reveal it to my family. I had always had a romantic view on painting but never gotten around to try my hand at it, which was where my – at least temporary – status as housewife had really proved useful.

With vampiric superiority it was not difficult to pick up new skills, but like with my necessary forging hobby I was a perfectionist with my painting and the painting I wanted to present to my family had to be just as perfect as them, so it had taken a while to get right.

Carlisle and Esme had been easy to paint in the large family portrait I hung on the wall above the fireplace while Carlisle was working and Edward was driving Esme to town to pick up wallpaper for the rooms upstairs. I knew my parents so well and their stunning beauty had been easy to transfer onto the canvas after I had gotten familiar with the techniques. Capturing the perfection that was Edward had been more difficult and for a long time I had been unable to do his inhuman beauty justice. When I had finally gotten it right, the most difficult task came – the self portrait. Several times I had been tempted to pretend that the Cullen Family only had three members, because painting myself just seemed impossible. But in the end I had managed to get somewhat of a resemblance into it, so now it was going onto the wall.

"Bella…!" Carlisle exclaimed when he came home and saw the painting. I bit my lip nervously as I watched him study it. He put an arm around my shoulders and smiled down at me. "Did you paint this?"

I nodded.

"You have hidden talents, honey. It's perfect." He walked over to the fireplace to take a closer look as if his perfect eyesight hadn't revealed every tiny detail by now. "Does it seem unreal to you sometimes too?" He asked, turning to look at me.

"Having a real family?" I asked to which he nodded. "Yes, all the time," I admitted. "It's the small things and innocent moments that get to me the most. Like when I hear Esme laughing upstairs or you smiling when you come home from work. When I hang one of Edward's shirts on the clothes line or when he looks up at me and smiles when he plays the piano. That's when I feel like pinching myself."

Esme and Edward had come into the house while I was talking and I sensed them standing behind me. "Look what our talented Bella has made to perfect an already perfect room," Carlisle said, gesturing to the painting.

"Oh Bella, it's perfect," Esme gushed. "I knew you were painting, but not that you had gotten this good."

"It's beautiful, love," Edward said, slipping his arms around my waist and resting his chin on my shoulder. "You're good at keeping secrets."

"I just wanted it to be a surprise," I replied. "Besides, I didn't know if I would get good enough to do you all justice."

"It's absolutely perfect, Bella," Carlisle said. "And I think you just created the perfect occasion for something I have been wanting to do for a while. Excuse me for a second."

Carlisle ran upstairs and Esme giggled. "Remember the last time he ran upstairs like that, Bella? Back in Forks?"

"Yes," I smiled. "The pearls."

"No pearls today, sorry ladies," Carlisle said, returning to the living room with a wooden box in his hands.

"You finished it?" I asked, remembering he had shown it to me once just after we had met. He told me then that he had been working on it for years, carving intricate patterns on it and using the strength of his fingers to make the carvings perfectly smooth. On the top was the Cullen Crest which he had copied from the back of old pocket watch his father had given him when he had started following in his footsteps, chasing vampires and other _evils_.

"Yes, finally," he smiled. "I thought it would fit right in beneath the painting. But first…" he opened the box and took out his watch. "I had this fixed up so I could use it again. I also had a duplicate made for you, Edward. I thought it was fitting."

"Carlisle, I don't know what to say…" Edward said softly, admiring the watch. "Thank you so much, you don't know what this means to me."

"I have an idea," Carlisle smiled. "And I know what it means to me, so I know enough."

He pulled out two more items from the box, handing one to Esme and one to me. Opening mine I gasped as my eyes landed on a gold cameo with the Cullen crest surrounded by emeralds. It was stunning and I bit my lip, looking up at a beaming Carlisle who was already helping Esme fasten hers on the collar of her dress. Hers had amethysts instead of emeralds. She thanked him and kissed him sweetly.

"Thank you, Carlisle," I said. "It's absolutely beautiful. I will wear it proudly."

Carlisle smiled widely and placed the wooden box on top of the fireplace mantle under my painting. He looked at the display with satisfaction seeping out of every pore and I could relate to the feeling. He was marking us as his family.


	18. Dinner at the Cullen's

Thank you, thank you, thank you to jadesabre75, FatalAttractions (you know, being patient is just a waste of time, LOL), lumierediva, Mysterious Angel-05, NoirCalifornianLapin, Sadie1787, sweetness4683, marisa holguin, aerobee82, SaraCGeorgeBob and lotusblomsten for the wonderful reviews. :)

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

**18**

**Dinner at the Cullen's**

The sun had set in a magnificent sea of colors only minutes earlier, and the sky was woven with shadows of those colors still. Edward and I had enjoyed the sunset while walking hand in hand on the deserted bank and took a turn up into the dense forest to hunt before we went back to the house. We had not taken many steps in between the trees before Edward tugged at my hand for us to start running.

"Wait," I said softly. There was a faint smell of a human lingering in the air and we could not allow ourselves to give in to our senses if someone was close by. "Do you hear anyone?" I asked, squeezing his hand, urging him to tap into my acceleration power.

His brow furrowed. "There's a girl," he said slowly, his head tipping slightly to one side. "I think she's lost in the forest. We should go and help her."

I nodded. We managed to catch her trail and quickly caught up with her. I was pretty sure we scared her by showing up from the middle of nowhere, but I offered her a smile as equal parts relief and fear washed over her features when she saw us in the fast fading light. She looked to be in her late teens or early twenties and she was stunningly beautiful. Her eyes were blue as the summer sky and she had long blonde hair flowing freely down her back. She only wore a pale yellow dress and white shoes with heels even though the warmth of the day was long gone.

"Oh hello," I said attempting to sound surprised. "It seems we're not the only ones out a little late."

"Please tell me you know the way out of here," she begged. "I have been walking around for hours and I have no idea how to get out of this blasted forest."

"Don't worry," Edward replied with a pleasant smile. "We know the way out. In which direction are you headed?"

"Rochester," she breathed. "I should have been home hours ago, my parents will be worrying."

"You are more than eight miles from home, then," I said. "The sun has already set. Why don't you come with us home? We live in the old mansion a mile south of here. We can give you a ride home."

"I…" the girl hesitated. "Are you sure it won't be too much trouble?"

"It would be no trouble at all," I assured her. Edward nodded his consent and I could see him try to suppress a grin, probably at something the girl was thinking.

"Thank you," she said, relief setting her eyes ablaze.

"Come on then. No reason to worry your parents more than necessary," I said, leading her in the right direction. The girl shivered as we started walking. Edward offered her his jacket and she gratefully slipped her arms into the sleeves.

We walked in silence for a while. Edward still had an amused look on his face and I gathered that it was because of whatever the girl was thinking. I elbowed him in annoyance although he could do very little about it, and he had to cover up his laugh with a cough.

"So, we should probably introduce ourselves," I said conversationally, ignoring Edward's coughing fit. The girl interrupted me, apparently not needing introductions. "You are Doctor Cullen's family, right? You said you lived in the old mansion."

I nodded. "I'm Bella and this is Edward. I am afraid I don't know who you are."

She looked almost offended although I could not understand why. "I am Rosalie Hale," she said.

I head heard about her. Esme had a weakness for local gossip as she claimed it made her feel more human to get caught up in petty human dramas. Carlisle indulged her, telling her whatever snippets of news he overheard at the hospital, and I remembered him telling her about Rosalie Hale getting engaged to Royce King, heir to pretty much the entire town of Rochester.

"What was she doing out in the forest so late?" I asked Edward after we had dropped off Rosalie.

"I don't know," he replied and chuckled a little. "Her thoughts… Well, I will be a gentleman and just call her vain. The thoughts about her appearance drowned out everything else in her mind. She did seem agitated, though. Maybe she was out blowing off some steam."

"It's an awfully long way to go just to blow off steam," I replied. "She should be more careful. We could just as easily have been someone wanting to harm her."

***

"Give me your hand, love," Edward said. I intertwined my fingers with his, looking up at him questiongly from my relaxed position between his legs with my back against his chest. We were sitting under some tall spruces bordering the banks of the lake watching the rain fall and mingle with the clucking water. Or, at least I was watching the rain. Edward had been trailing the most delightful butterfly kisses down my throat but apparently he had found a new source of entertainment. His god-like features bore a wicked grin.

"I just thought I would put our powers to good use and spy on daddy dearest," he explained. I laughed – it was our version of teenage rebellion that we would never tire of which was quite lucky since we were stuck forever in teenage bodies.

The smile disappeared from Edward's face and was replaced by sheer terror. "Oh sweet merciful…tell me he didn't…"

"What?" I gasped clutching his hand. A thousand horrifying images blazed through my mind all at once.

"Carlisle…" Edward groaned and closed his eyes. "He just volunteered to host a charity event for the hospital. You know what that means, don't you?"

I wrinkled my nose. "Food. – And us having to eat it."

"I think I'll just change my last name back to Masen. Stunts like that makes me want to lose the Cullen name," he sighed. "Ugh."

I took a deep breath before allowing a small giggle to slip out. "That may just be Carlisle's greatest crime ever. Not so bad for an almost three hundred year old vampire."

"Bad enough," Edward disagreed. "Should we go rat him out to Esme?"

"I don't think it will be as much ratting him out as making her day. She is going to love it."

"You are right," he said. "Any bright ideas on how we could get out of it?"

"Not a single one," I sighed.

Edward and I tried to act surprised when Carlisle came home that evening and told his big news, but he saw right through us and shook his head disapprovingly knowing _how_ we knew. A smile played at his lips, though. As predicted Esme was delighted at the prospect of entertaining guests, even having to eat disgusting human food could not dampen her spirits. Putting on her best pout she even made Edward and I agree to help her out prepare the food. The woman had some evil powers.

Thus, a week later I found myself elbow deep in pie dough. I was alternating between wrinkling my nose and laughing at Edward who had gone all out and clamped his nose with a clothes peg while he was preparing some vegetables. Esme was going slightly overboard in her attempt to be a good host and Carlisle had had to talk her out of some of her crazier ideas. She had also raided the bookstore for cooking books and Edward had made her promise that we could make a bonfire out of them later. It was all about symbolism, he claimed.

"This is so disgusting," Edward complained, giving a tomato the death stare. "I cannot believe that I used to eat this, no doubt enjoying it too."

"Need I remind you that humans think your diet just as revolting?"

"No, and I also don't need to be reminded that we actually have to eat this too," he moaned. "Carlisle will be making this up to us for the next century."

"Quit moaning, lover boy. I need those onions you have been avoiding for the last twenty minutes," I playfully scolded him. "The moaning might come in handy later, though."

Edward threw his head back and laughed before he dutifully started chopping onions.

***

"Everyone is much in awe over Doctor Cullen's beautiful home, his delightful family and the _delicious_ food," Edward whispered to me too low for human ears. We were mingling at the charity event, smiling and displaying every ounce of politeness we could muster. It was at times like these that we had to be extra careful because the scene was our usual safe zone.

"Yes, absolutely delicious," I said seriously, looking at the plate I was balancing to keep up appearances. Deliberately looking Edward in the eyes I took a bite of the chocolate cake that everyone had been praising, chewed a couple of times and swallowed. "Mmmhhh," I cooed. "Have you tried this? It's the best chocolate cake I have had in years." Edward winced before allowing himself to smile at my joke.

"You are very brave, my love," he whispered.

"Not braver than you, I'm sure."

"Um yes, you might just be," he replied uncomfortably.

"Nonsense. The man I married is not afraid of anything, least of all an innocent piece of cake. Or would you rather have one of those little sandwiches? I heard that the salmon ones are really good."

He winced again. "You are not going to let it slide, are you?"

I shook my head. "For better or worse and all that. Ring a bell?"

He groaned and picked up a sandwich from a trey. "Only for you, Isabella. Only for you." Like I had one, he chewed a couple of times before he swallowed and offered me a tight smile.

I giggled. "Now there's my brave husband whom I love and adore. Chocolate cake?"

"These are excellent sandwiches," an overweight, balding man in an ill-fitting suit interrupted us with a big smile. "I have always heard much praise when it came to Mrs. Cullen's cooking skills and I must say that she does not disappoint. It's a wonder that Carlisle doesn't put on any weight."

I bit my lip and smiled as politely as I could. Edward covered up a laugh by coughing. "Yes, Esme is a wonderful cook," I agreed.

"Carlisle is a lucky man to have such a beautiful family," the man said, all but swallowing another sandwich whole. "Hey, have you tasted these cookies? They are delicious."

Edward made a face, luckily too quick for anyone but me to notice. I suppressed a giggle and assured the man that we had both tasted them and absolutely loved them. Edward coughed again while I tried to ignore the memory of how disgusting they had been to make when Esme and I had been in dough up to our elbows.

Our new friend did not relent. He shoved a muffin up into Edward's face. "Is this a strawberry or cherry muffin?"

Edward looked horrorstruck at the prospect of having to taste it – not that that would give him any pointers as to what was in it, but he couldn't very well say that out loud. I debated with myself whether or not to save my dear husband. I had made the muffins myself and didn't have to pretend to taste them to know that the man was holding a strawberry muffin. The thing was, though…Edward looked absolutely adorable in his terrified state, looking at the muffin as if it was one of the stinking dogs from Forks. And it was rather funny to see the bravest man I knew terrified of baked goods. Just when I thought I couldn't possibly love him anymore than I already did…


	19. A Rose in the Snow

A big big thank you to jadesabre75, Sadie1787, marisa holguin, aerobee82, sweetness4683, Mysterious Angel-05, NoirCalifornianLapin and the always amazing FatalAttractions for the reviews! :)

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

**19**

**A Rose in the Snow**

"Bella, it's snowing," Edward suddenly grinned. He had just finished playing Esme's favorite on the piano and my eyes were closed, my head resting back against the couch. I heard the suggestiveness in his voice and apparently Esme did too and was unable to suppress a giggle.

Edward laughed. "What? I just said that it's snowing."

"I am going to go upstairs and paint the spare bedroom," Esme declared. "You kids have fun."

"Way to clear a room, lover boy," I giggled.

"I really don't know what you are talking about," Edward said, rearranging his angelic features in an innocent look. "But it is snowing and I am going outside. Would you like to join me, Mrs. Cullen?"

"If I must," I sighed dramatically, holding out a hand for him to pull me up from the floor. He obliged and pressed me close against his body. He looked into my eyes, dazzling me without even trying.

"I think you can muster up a little more enthusiasm for a snow adventure with your adoring husband," he whispered in my ear, giving me all the reason in the world to just melt.

"A snow adventure?" I managed. "Is that what it's called these days?"

He growled playfully at me making me laugh. "Only when it's snowing."

He pulled me with him outside where big white flakes danced in the air, faintly lighting up the evening sky. There was not much snow on the ground yet which was a shame because I felt like shoving a snowball down Edward's neck. The thought made me giggle and Edward smiled at me even though he had no idea what I was thinking.

"You are so beautiful, my Bella," he said softly, all traces of the playfulness gone. He just looked at me like nothing else in the world existed.

"I love you," I said, taking a step forward so I was pressed against him.

"Mine," he stated.

"Yours," I replied.

He leaned down to kiss me and encircled my waist with his arms. My hands found their involuntary way into his hair and when the kiss deepened, he picked me up and started walking away from the house, into the forest.

It was still snowing when we walked back to the house after our snow adventure. We were holding hands, blissfully ignoring that our clothes were drenched. The smiles on our faces faded, however, when we heard the screams.

"Dear Lord, what is that?" I breathed.

Edward tore his focus from me and concentrated for a second. He stopped abruptly, yanking me stop as well as he hadn't let go of my hand. "It's…I think Carlisle bit Rosalie Hale. She is the one screaming…changing. What was he thinking?"

"Are you sure?" I had to ask.

"Very," Edward assured me. "I don't know why, though. We should get back." I nodded and we started running through the forest.

Rosalie Hale was trashing on the couch, screaming and moaning as the fire within her coursed through her body. Carlisle sat patiently by her side, wiping her brow and telling her that the pain would end. I looked at Edward and Esme who bore similar expressions of shock and discomfort on their faces. I realized that it was the first time they witnessed a transformation. Edward squeezed my hand so hard that I could actually feel the pain, no doubt because he was reading Rosalie's tortured thoughts. I dragged him out into the never-used kitchen, beckoning Esme to follow us.

"Do you know what happened?" I asked Esme.

"Carlisle found her," she replied softly. "He said she had been beaten and…molested. She was dying and he could not let that happen."

"Is this…normal?" Edward cut in, looking very distracted and his gaze kept straying towards the living room. "Did I… I mean, I remember the pain, but…"

I nodded sadly. "I am afraid this is what a transformation looks like from the outside. It will last three days and there is nothing we can do to ease her pain. It is not easy to go through and it is not easy to witness."

"Bella?" Carlisle called from the living room. I squeezed Edward's hand once more and filled a bowl with cold water before I went to see Carlisle.

He looked up at me with weary eyes when I entered the room. I replaced the bowl he had on the coffee table with the one I had just filled and took the cloth from his hand. It felt very natural for me to slip back into nursing mode and I knew that Carlisle had to go to work soon. I gave him a little smile and he gratefully sat down in a chair next to the couch while I kneeled beside Rosalie and held the cold cloth to her forehead, hoping it would ease the fire inside her just a little bit.

When I looked back at Carlisle he had leaned his head back against the back of the chair and loosened his tie. He was doing one hell of an impersonation of a tired human being.

"I am sorry, Bella," he finally sighed.

"For what?" I asked. "No one admires you for your compassion more than me."

"Well, I never thought I would be doing this," he motioned to the moaning girl on the couch, "- without consulting you first. With Edward and Esme we decided together. But Bella…I just could not let her die. I am not sure exactly what made me do it, but I knew I had to."

"And you honestly think I blame you for that?" I asked and tried to quiet down Rosalie as she started screaming again.

"Honey, it was you and me who started this family. It feels wrong to add to it without your consent."

"In all ways but one you are my father. You know that is how I think of you, right?" When he nodded I continued. "That means that ultimately I accept all your decisions. This one, however, I do not only accept – I also respect and admire it. I do not know anyone more fair, more compassionate and more strong than you. I am so proud to be your daughter and to be a Cullen."

Carlisle looked like he was ready to cry if he had been able to. I smiled and added the obvious. "Besides, Rosalie might not want to stay with us."

Carlisle stood up and dropped a kiss on the top of my head. "Thank you, honey."

"Anytime, Daddy," I sent him a smile before reminding him of the inevitable. "You know we will have to leave, right?"

He nodded. "I will hand in my resignation today. It might look suspicious considering the whole town will be looking for Rosalie by now but I will come up with a good story and have Esme and Edward make an appearance in town. Will you stay with Rosalie?"

"Of course," I replied. "But don't make Esme and Edward stay too long in town. We need to pack as well as figure out where to go next."

Carlisle left to go to the hospital and it was not until he was gone that Edward and Esme ventured back into the living room. They still both looked very uncomfortable but the look in Edward's eyes changed when he saw me with Rosalie. It looked like a spark of recognition and I wondered if seeing me back in nursing mode made him remember something from when he was in the hospital.

"You probably heard Carlisle and I talking," I said. "We need to leave. We cannot risk staying here where someone might recognize Rosalie."

Edward nodded, seemingly snapping out of it. "We heard. I will go into town for a bit, maybe help if there has been a search put together for Rosalie."

"Good idea," I nodded. He came over to me, bending down and giving me a lingering kiss before he took off into Rochester.

"What should I do, Bella?" Esme asked me, looking completely lost. She visibly jumped when Rosalie let out a piercing scream all of the sudden. I took the girl's hand and squeezed it to let her know that she was not alone. There was very little, if nothing at all, I could do for her and it broke my heart.

I turned back to Esme. "You should start packing, mom. We need to leave soon."

My well placed 'mom' seemed to do the trick because Esme snapped out of it a little too and began to sort out or belongings. I turned my full attention to Rosalie, telling her that the pain would end and that everything would be fine. I hoped I was right.

That was how we left Rochester and our beloved mansion. We went to North Dakota where Rosalie's vampire existence started. Carlisle and I quickly realized how easy we had had it with Edward and Esme who despite their confusion, disbelief and overwhelming fear had listened to us with an open mind and in different ways tried to make the best of the situation. And now they were both happy.

Rosalie was not as accommodating. She had no open mind, no patience and no desire to listen to a word any of us had to say. She bitched and moaned and refused to listen to any reason. She claimed that she did not want to be saved, she would much rather have died. Carlisle was on a lengthy stay in the Land of Self Loathing even though Edward tried to reassure him that Rosalie's thoughts were not as bad as her words and that she just needed some time.

"I hate you! I hate you all! How dare you!" Rosalie yelled when Carlisle tried to talk to her for the umpteenth time.

"Please, Rosalie," Edward tried to reason with her. "We know you are hurting, but if you would just listen for a minute…"

"You don't know anything!"

"That's enough," Esme said quietly but with so much authority that we all fell quiet, even Rosalie. "We are not savages. The least we can do is hear each other out."

Carlisle looked at his wife with so much adoration in his eyes that I had to look away. Looking at Edward was not that much better as he desperately tried to suppress a smile. I rolled my eyes before looking at Rosalie who looked as meek as I had ever seen her. I took a moment to study her closer now that she wasn't polluting her beauty with sneers and sour expressions. She was easily the most beautiful woman I had ever seen and her transformation had done nothing but enhance all her perfect features. It showed how superior vampires were, that the transformation could enhance perfection.

Esme cleared her throat unnecessarily and I returned my attention to her. "Rosalie, as much as you dislike everything and everyone right now, then you need to consider this: You are part of this family if you wish to be and you always will be. No one is forcing you to anything – you can stay or go as you please – but we are here for you and whatever you need. Always. Do you understand?"

Rosalie nodded. Then she ran upstairs to her room like she always did when someone tried to talk to her. But this time I had a feeling that Esme had managed to get under her shield a little. – And apparently she wanted to stay which was not something I had expected, and even though she was very unreasonable, it seemed that we were all relieved. I hoped we would not regret that relief.


	20. Sweet Revenge

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Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

**20**

**Sweet Revenge**

"Bella, do you know where Rosalie is?" Esme asked. There was a hint of panic in her voice.

I shook my head. Edward and I had asked if she wanted to go hunting with us earlier, but she had declined in a not so polite manner. We had been gone most of the day and I had not given Rosalie another thought as both Carlisle and Esme were at the house when we left. In all honesty I had not given _anyone_ or anything any kind of thought that day because instead of actually hunting we had found a secluded spot deep in the forest and spent hours making love.

"Carlisle was called into the hospital just after you two left," Esme explained wringing in her hands. "And when he had left, I realized that I was the only one in the house. She has gone off on her own before, but never this long. I am worried about her."

"Stay here, Esme," Edward said, taking charge. "Bella and I will go look for her. Even if she's too far away for me to hear her thoughts, I should be able to track her. I kind of taught myself how to track when I was…_away._" He cringed slightly but I squeezed his hand and he let it go.

I followed Edward outside again and it was easy to catch Rosalie's scent. After a dead end that turned out to be an old trail from a hunting trip, Edward picked up a trail leading away from the house. We ran through the forest for a long time and I wondered what on earth Rosalie was doing. At the far edge of the forest her trail continued out over the fields. We stayed low but continued running, fairly sure that no one would see us.

"I am not sure that she even knows where she is going," Edward said frustrated at one point. He had never let go of my hand and we had tried to combine our powers several times to see if he could hear her thoughts, but with no luck so far. "She is zigzagging all over the place, yet in a pretty general direction."

"Has she been thinking about leaving or running away?" I asked, knowing that being privy to her thoughts had not been easy for Edward, but he might have been able to pick up on something vital.

Edward stopped abruptly, yanking me to a violent stop as well because he still held my hand. "For the love of…" he kicked the ground angrily sending a wave of dirt flying like a small rain shower. "Why have I not thought of that? Oh God, Bella… She was thinking about revenge. It is just… She is Rosalie. She hates hunting because she might get a drop of blood on her clothes. I never expected her to be serious about it."

"Well, it makes sense," I said slowly. "Rochester is in this general direction. And if that is where she is going, then we will be too late. She would have been there hours ago."

"I should have offered to do it," Edward sighed. "I mean, it is not like I have not done it before."

I wrapped my arms around his torso and spoke into his chest. "Please stay off the path your thoughts are currently on. This is Rosalie's revenge, not yours. I admit that I am afraid for her, but only because she has no idea how strong the pull of blood actually is. She has been so sheltered until now. But other than that we have to trust her."

It was dawn when Edward finally picked up Rosalie's thoughts. He listened intently for a moment before breathing a deep sigh of relief. "She is fine and headed back this way," he said. "She may just be the strongest of us all, though. She had her revenge without spilling as much as a drop of blood. She must be pleased that her clothes are safe." We shared a wry smile.

A few seconds later Rosalie appeared before us. I gasped when I saw that she was wearing a wedding dress. She was truly a magnificent sight, the statuesque, curvy blonde vision in a gorgeous white lace dress. She even wore a wind tattered wreath of white roses in her hair. There was a hint of a smirk on her face that never wavered when she saw us, but she pushed her chin higher, daring us to lecture her.

I decided to leave the lecturing to Carlisle if he felt it was necessary, he had the parenting role down to a tee anyway. I could just be the supportive sister. "Way to go, sis," I said, noting the surprise on her face at my words.

"You're good at revenge," Edward agreed. "And your resistance is admirable. Yes, I listened to your thoughts. Sorry. But we were worried about you."

"I _had_ to do it," she said firmly, getting ready for another battle.

"You don't have to explain yourself to us, Rosalie," Edward assured her. "We understand and would have helped you if you needed it. We were only concerned about the whole human blood issue. You have been fairly sheltered and until you have been tempted it is pretty impossible to imagine the pull it has on you."

She glared at him and he held his hands up in surrender, smiling disarmingly. "I know, I know – you handled yourself amazingly."

Rosalie huffed, but stayed relatively calm.

"Are you ready to go back?" I asked her carefully.

She nodded reluctantly and followed us as we ran towards our home. A few miles from the house Rosalie stopped. She threw away the roses from her hair and looked at Edward and me expectantly. "What would you have done?" she asked softly.

"The same as you," Edward instantly replied. "Only I doubt I would have been as strong as you and not spilled blood."

Rosalie then looked at me for an answer. "I don't know exactly what you did since it's not all of us who can read minds and you haven't given any details," I said. "But I would want revenge too. – Revenge in whatever way they deserved."

Rosalie bit the inside of her cheek in a very uncharacteristic move for her. "What is Carlisle and Esme going to say?"

I was surprised that she even cared but decided to be honest. "They both want what is best for you. I am guessing they would have liked that to be something else than revenge, but I don't think they will blame you."

Rosalie nodded thoughtfully and I decided to push my luck. "Did it make you feel better?" I asked.

"A little," she said, though it didn't look that way. "Maybe I had to do it in order to feel anything," she wondered out loud in a rare display of emotion. Well, emotions other than anger. She quickly composed herself again, though, and stalked towards the house again. Edward shrugged and took my hand as we followed her.

"Oh, thank God," Esme exclaimed when she saw Rosalie. Her eyes widened a little when she noticed the wedding dress, but she flew over and gave the statue impersonating blonde a hug. "I'm so glad you're safe."

"Are you okay?" Carlisle asked concerned.

Rosalie nodded reluctantly. "I had some unfinished business to take care of in Rochester," she said simply. "But don't worry, your little vampire secret is safe."

"May I ask what your unfinished business was?" Carlisle asked.

Rosalie sighed heavily, pulling at the frayed lace on her dress. "I guess I might as well tell you. I'm sure _Edward_ will tell you if I don't." She looked up defiantly. "I couldn't let Royce King and his disgusting little friends live after what they did to me. So I took them down one after one, scaring them as they scared me, torturing them as they tortured me and killed them as they killed me. I went to Royce last and the look on his face is worth every agonizing second of my newly acquired forever. Yeah, and I did it without spilling a drop of blood, so I'm still as saintly as Bella. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to change. I'll be back down for the lecture in a bit."

"No one is going to lecture you, honey," Carlisle said softly, effectively halting Rosalie on the bottom step of the staircase. "You did what you had to and I for one am proud of you."

I couldn't be completely sure, but I think I saw the hint of a smile on Rosalie's face as she continued upstairs, white lace swimming around her.

***

"Rosalie, you don't want to do that," Edward said quietly as Rosalie came flying down the stairs and headed towards the front door.

I looked up from my book just in time to see the sneer mar her perfect face. "Stay out of my head, _Edward_!"

"I can't help it, you thoughts are very loud," he replied, looking back down to the sheet of paper on which he had been writing, composing no doubt as he was perched on the piano bench. "But I am serious, you really shouldn't go into town, at least not alone. We can go with you if you want."

"But I _don't_ want you to come with me. I don't want to listen to you and I don't want to look at you. Capice?"

"It's not safe, Rose," Edward pleaded.

"I think I have proved myself," Rosalie sneered. "And besides, I don't really care what you think. I am going and I am going alone." And she did, slamming the door so hard it hopped off its hinges. Esme was going to love that.

"What was that about?" I asked Edward.

"She is going into town," he sighed. "I know she resisted wonderfully when she had her revenge in Rochester, but maybe she won't be as determined this time and slip up."

"So we follow her at a safe distance so she won't notice us," I suggested. "I'll accelerate your power and you keep tabs on her thoughts. It's better than sitting here worrying and we can't force her to stay."

Edward sighed again, but nodded. "Do you think even Carlisle's compassion and Esme's never ending motherly love is enough for the case that is Rosalie Hale? It seems like the more we try, the more difficult she gets."

"If anyone has the answer to that question, it would be you," I said, offering him my hand so he could get a handle on Rosalie's thoughts as we went outside.

"Her thoughts are as vicious as her words," He said. "She only ever thinks about three things; how she looks, how terrible being a vampire is and then she relives what happened to her. It's so brutal and it frustrates me to no end that we can't help her somehow, but I just don't know how. As long as she won't talk to any of us, there is very little we can do."

"So we wait until she's ready," I said softly. "Maybe she needs our patience more than our advice and hollow words."

Edward smiled at me, all crookedly. "You, my love, are a saint. Maybe it won't be Carlisle's compassion or Esme's love or even my power that finally cracks Rosalie. It will probably be your patience."


	21. Rose Mysteries

As always a big thanks for the wonderful reviews to Sadie1787, Mysterious Angel-05, marisa holguin, aerobee82, hidinginyoureyes and sweetness4683!

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

**21**

**Rose Mysteries**

It had been nagging me for a while, so one night I just threw the question out there. "Rosalie, why do you hate Edward so much?" I congratulated myself for being able to quiet down the house so effectively while I waited for her response. My eyes met Edward's and they looked troubled. Part of me hated doing that to him, but I needed to know. We were supposed to be a family, after all.

Rosalie's eyes narrowed. "It's him who hates me."

"You know that is not true, Rosalie," Edward said quietly but with much more authority than usual.

"Fine," she hissed. "If you must know, _Isabella_ – your husband finds me unattractive."

For a long second I failed to see how that could make her hate him, he was married after all. But then I remembered that it was Rosalie, Queen of Vanity. Oh.

"Please Rosalie," Edward said exasperated, obviously not enjoying the subject of conversation I had chosen for the night. "Even a blind man can see how beautiful you are. Just because I do not fawn over you like most males, does not mean that I cannot see it."

"Beautiful is not the same as attractive," Rosalie pointed out.

"No, it is not," Edward agreed. "I do not find it attractive that you expect me to turn my back on my wife because you need your ego stroked. We both know that you do not want me any more than I want you, so I fail to see why you are so insulted in my lack of interest."

"I thought you knew _everything_, Edward," Rosalie sneered.

"You need to think it for me to know it," Edward shot back.

I rolled my eyes. "Good grief, if I had known this was such a petty drama, I would never have asked. I mistook this for a serious issue."

I looked at Rosalie, expecting a venomous reply, but all I got was a sour stare. Edward was looking like he was concentrating immensely. "You have it all wrong, Rosalie," he said softly after a moment. "I saw you before, remember? In the forest when you were lost and Bella and I drove you home. You are as beautiful now as you were then."

Edward watched Rosalie who was shooting daggers at him with blazing eyes. He just continued his one-sided conversation, however. "It has absolutely nothing to do with that. What those vile creatures did to you has in no way made you less beautiful. You are stronger because of it."

"Thank you, _Doctor _Cullen," Rosalie sniped but the venom was gone from her voice. She made her escape up the stairs to her room.

Edward pinched the bridge of his perfect nose and sighed. I got up from the floor and sat next to him on the piano bench. "Next time I decide to open a can of worms, please kick me really hard," I begged him.

He chuckled and kissed the top of my head. "That's the trouble with you, love. You always want to save the world and sometimes the world does not want to be saved. I know how much it bothers you that Rosalie is playing Ice Queen, but at least at the moment we seem to be a bit stuck with the situation."

I sighed and leaned my head against his shoulder. "I feel bad for even thinking it because I can only imagine what she has gone through and is still going through, but I swear she deserves to spend half a century alone. Then she would appreciate having a family that would do anything for her."

"I can hear you, you know," Rosalie said from her room.

"We know," I muttered knowing she would hear me even if I whispered.

***

Our very own Ice Queen did not defrost like I had hoped. She kept sniping and hissing at everyone and I was not the only one who found it frustrating. Esme especially had the most devastating expression on her face sometimes when Rosalie would explode and leave the room or the house in a major fit.

But even the ice cold climate Rosalie contributed with became somewhat of a routine. Edward and I would escape the house when we could, spending hours upon hours alone in the forest. I still pinched myself sometimes not believing how it was possible to be as happy as I was with Edward. The most amazing thing in the world was to get completely absorbed and wrapped up in the little universe that held only him and me. I only had to look into his eyes and I would lose all touch with reality.

That was probably why someone managed to surprise us one day in the forest. I was beneath Edward on the ground with him trailing kisses down my throat while I ran my hands over every piece of him I could reach, always ending up in his magnificent hair. We had been so distracted by each other that it took someone clearing their throat a few feet away from us to notice them. So much for superior vampire senses.

It took less than a second to register that it was three amused vampires who had interrupted us, vampires with burgundy eyes. I put my shield up as I stood up, wrapping my hand in Edward's, shielding him as well.

"Our apologies," one of them said, a dark haired male with a slight accent. "It was very rude of us to interrupt, but it has been so long since we last met anyone of our kind, so we could not help ourselves. I am Laurent, my companions are Victoria and James," he said gesturing to a red-haired female and a dirty blonde male.

"My name is Edward," Edward said politely, showing no signs of being distracted and I was momentarily amazed at how good he was at hiding that he could hear more than just their words. "This is my wife, Isabella." He took half a step in front of me.

Slightly uncomfortable small talk was made for a while although I made no attempt to contribute. The blonde male, James also preferred to stay silent. He wore a creepy smirk and I lifted my shield for Edward to let him know that I thought we should get the hell out of there. He squeezed my hand to reply, but in the end he turned out to a be a true son of Carlisle Cullen, because when the strangers had shown how weird they found it that we had a permanent home, they asked if they could meet the leader of our coven and maybe freshen up a bit – and Edward told them yes.

We ran back to the house and I did not waste any time telling Edward how bad of an idea I thought it was. He just sent me an apologetic look and introduced the strangers to the rest of our family who were as polite as himself. - Even Rosalie which I found beyond weird as I didn't even know that the word was in her vocabulary.

I watched my sister as small talk was made. The leader of the strange coven was very interested in hearing about our lifestyle and Carlisle was eager to share. The other male, James was still not participating but his gaze was no longer resting on me, but on Rosalie who was basking in the attention. Right, that was where the sudden streak of politeness came from.

James started to shower Rosalie in the most cliché compliments and she was eating it all up. It was revolting, really. Apparently I was not the only one who thought that because the female, Victoria, was shooting daggers at Rosalie and James. I nudged Edward and his eyes were wide as he watched the scene before us.

"It's a peculiar way you have chosen to live," James said to Rosalie. "One would think the fairest of our kind would want to live up to the legacy of those who came before us, creating the legends and keeping the delicious smelling fear alive among the prey."

"It's what I know," Rosalie said, for the first time showing hints of the usual defiance we all knew and adored. "And I'm proud of the fact that I have never tasted human blood."

"Never? Not even once?" James smirked.

Rosalie shook her head, blonde hair twirling stubbornly.

"Oh my beautiful girl," James gasped, clearly exasperated. "You don't know what you are missing out on. This animal blood of your cannot even compare to the real thing, I'm sure. The taste, I tell you…"

Edward and Carlisle growled at the same time, though Edward sounded a lot more menacing.

James laughed. "I mean no harm, of course."

Carlisle and Edward shared a significant look and Edward nodded, answering a question in Carlisle's mind.

"I'm afraid I have to ask you to leave," Carlisle's honey smooth voice told the strangers. Laurent left willingly, apologizing for causing a commotion and thanking us for our kindness. Victoria left without a word, but James found time to _gallantly _kiss Rosalie, Esme and my hand and sneering at Edward before sauntering out of the house.

Edward stood rigid for a long time. "He's not leaving. He told the others that he would catch up with them later. He wants Rosalie. – At all costs."

We all looked to my blonde sister. "We won't stop you, of course, if you want to go with them, honey" Carlisle said slowly. "But if you do want to stay here with us, then James will have to go through us to get to you. We all love you and will fight for you. But you have to decide, Rosalie."

"You love me?" she asked, her voice broken and looking completely lost. I had never seen her that vulnerable before and my heart went out to her.

"Of course we do, Rose. We're a family."

"A family." She only mouthed the words, but the relief and awe on her face was obvious. "I want to stay," she stated.

We all smiled – Esme positively beamed – And Rosalie made the day historical by smiling with us. Carlisle was right – we were a family, Rosalie included now.

Edward's smile faded quickly. "He's not far. His plan is to wait and catch Rosalie alone in the woods." He glanced at Rosalie who shuddered, no doubt reliving old memories, then at me. "I'll go," he said.

"Not alone, you won't," I protested.

"I have fought worse, Bella," he said. "He's alone and I can hear every thought in his head. I'll be fine."

"I'm still coming with you," I said stubbornly. "Carlisle can stay here with Rose and Esme."

"Please stay here, love," he pleaded.

I shook my head. "I go where you go." I softened my voice, breathing out the word that would break him: "Yours."

"Mine," he sighed, holding out his hand for me. "Let's go."

"Be careful," Carlisle warned us and the anxious but grateful smile on Rosalie's face was like a beautiful dawn breaking after a long and dark night.

We quickly found James, him not knowing that his thoughts were not safe from us. He started running when he sensed us coming but with Edward's amazing speed his flight was useless. He and Edward were crouched, growling furiously at each other when I caught up with them. My arrival distracted James and within a fraction of a second Edward was pouncing on him. There was a thunderous clash, echoing through the forest and shaking the surrounding trees.

James flung Edward off, sending him flying into the trees, uprooting more than a few. I made my attack then and James laughed as I clung onto his back, trying to rip off his left arm. Edward bounced back, ripping off James' right arm before he even had time to notice Edward. James growled, snapping at both of us. He managed to get his teeth into my arm, but Edward tearing off his right leg made him lose interest in my skin.

With only one leg left there was not fight left in him and my ever foreseeing husband lit a fire with the matches he had thought to bring. I gathered up the dismembered pieces of the now historical James and together we threw them into the flames.

"You're hurt," Edward said accusingly and picked up my hand to examine my arm while we watched the fire burn.

"Barely," I said.

"It must hurt."

"It does," I sighed. "But I'll live – and Rosalie is safe. It's worth a little pain – and besides, I haven't felt pain in years. It's a little invigorating."

"I hate that you're hurt," Edward complained. "All I want to do is spend my life making sure you're _not_ hurt but apparently I can't even do that. I can't protect you."

"Edward," I groaned, turning to look into his eyes. "Dear darling husband of mine, you protect me from so many other things - from being miserable, unhappy and lonely. And I know that you would never let me get seriously hurt. Let this one go. Please."

Edward looked at me for a long time before kissing the already healing wound on my arm. "Okay."

"Thank you," I smiled. "And don't tell the others."

"It will scar, love. They will notice it sooner or later," he pointed out.

I looked at my arm. "Shoot. Oh well, I will just be proud of my _Rosalie Battle Wound_ then. I hope it means she will be a little nicer."

"That's just one of the many things I love about you, Isabella Cullen. Despite never sleeping you still dream," he smirked as we walked home hand in hand.


	22. Rewarding All the Right Things

Big thanks to FatalAttractions, hidinginyoureyes, Sadie1787, marisa holguin, Mysterious Angel-05, jadesabre75, aerobee82, sweetness4683, CopaseticMomma, Mee () and Hayleey for the reviews and comments. You make me smile. :)

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

**22**

**Rewarding All the Right Things**

Rosalie was being difficult. My patience with her was only held together by the fact that I so badly wanted to connect with her, but she was just really talented at testing all our limits.

"I don't need a _babysitter_," she screeched when Carlisle suggested that she didn't go hunting alone.

"You know I don't think you need one," Carlisle said calmly. He was always the best at keeping his cool with her.

"Good. Then I'll go alone."

"Rosalie, please," Carlisle begged. "It is merely for your own protection. You are still a newborn. Besides, we tend not to hunt alone in this family."

"Well, maybe I shouldn't be part of this _family_," she said sourly, clearly not thinking about her words a few weeks ago when she had said the exact opposite. "It's not like I ever asked to be anyway!"

I saw the hurt look in Carlisle's eyes, immediately followed by the guilt. I felt a flicker of hate for the girl that I usually just felt equal parts love and pity for. I wished I could just tell her to go out alone, but I liked the way that our family worked with Carlisle's being our subtle, but firm leader. It had been a gradual process over the years since we met, but now I knew that I would never go against his wishes. I respected him too much and I knew he would always do what was best for all of us. Like a real father.

So I risked total humiliation. "Let me go with you, Rosalie. I need to hunt anyway." I lifted my shield and warned Edward in my mind not to say anything about him wanting to come too. Maybe if I had Rosalie alone I could get through to her.

"And get in a dose of sisterly bonding?" Rosalie asked sarcastically.

I took one more for the team. "I would like that, yes. But it's up to you."

She looked undecided for a moment, but then she sighed. "All right. It's better than the mind reader or the overprotective _parents_, I guess."

I bit my lip and swallowed all my sarcasm. "Thank you, Rose."

I kissed Edward goodbye before following my sister out the door. I tried to muster up some enthusiasm and some patience as I ran through the forest. It was a little difficult, but deep down I knew that Rosalie was hurting and her harsh words was the only outlet she had.

We ran a good hundred and fifty miles from the house to hunt. The longer into the vast forest we got, the broader our selection of prey became. Rosalie went after some deer that she could easily have found much to the house and I caught the scent of a mountain lion. After having drained and disposed of the animal, I went back towards where I knew Rosalie to be. She surprised me by coming to meet me.

"You really don't have to bother with the whole sister thing," she told me coldly. "I'm not interested."

"Right…"

"Honestly, what would _we_ have in common?" she asked. "I mean, it's not like _I_ have a mind reading adoring husband, fancy powers or an eternal amount of gratitude towards Daddy Dearest."

"And that's all there is to me, like your beauty and bitterness is all there is to you," I snapped.

"You don't know anything, Isabella."

"Knowing anything is obviously not the key considering Edward is having as much luck in getting through your armor as the rest of us. He probably knows everything." I replied. "But what I don't understand is your bitterness towards me for example. I had nothing to do with the decision to change you and I have only ever tried to become your friend."

"I don't want your friendship, don't you understand that?!" she yelled. "I never wanted any of this!"

"And you think I did?" I asked.

She laughed, an uncomfortable cynical sound hitching slightly in her throat. "You are so blissfully happy with your little family. It's obvious that you love this pathetic excuse for a life."

I took a deep breath. "Of course I love it," I said exasperated. "I would be a fool if I didn't appreciate having a family and a husband that loves me after spending so many years alone. I have gone through enough loneliness, heartache and misery to know a good thing when I see it. I will give anything to keep my family together. To keep it happy."

Some of the fire in Rosalie's eyes died out. "How can you stand it, though? You are being deprived of the same things I am."

"Dying? Having children? Sleeping? Not being controlled by thirst?" I asked. She nodded. "I try to focus on what I am gaining instead of what I am being deprived," I admitted and that much was true. "I get to spend forever with the man I love. I would give up my life for that fact alone any day."

"I don't have anyone to spend forever with."

"I have been around long enough to know he is out there for you, Rose," I said, thinking about Esme and Carlisle and their amazing story.

"Right," she sneered. "The Almighty Bella who knows everything."

I sighed, knowing that I wasn't making any progress with her at all. "I don't know everything. But I do know that you only cheated death."

"What is that supposed to mean?" she clearly didn't like having to ask, but her curiosity won out.

"You would have been rotting in your coffin right now if Carlisle hadn't saved you. You were already dying," I said. "I wasn't dying when someone changed me, but you don't see me bitching and moaning. – And I never did, not even when I was alone and scared and not having a clue what the hell I had become."

"Well, _clearly_ you are a much better vampire than me, Isabella," Rosalie spewed her sarcasm.

"Not good enough, it seems," I shot back. "_Clearly_ I still waste a considerable amount of time on the hopeless deed it is to try and get through to you."

I waited until Rosalie took off running back towards the house before I jabbed the nearest tree sending it flying. I hated it when I let Rosalie get to me, but she was just too good at being annoying. After calming down slightly I took off running too. Suddenly I couldn't wait to see the dear faces waiting back at the house.

***

"Put on your dancing shoes, my love," Edward sang when I came back a minute after Rosalie. "We're going dancing."

"We are?"

"Yes," he nodded. "And if you must know the reason, then I am rewarding myself for not getting worked up about Rosalie's thoughts before you guys left to hunt. They were not pretty."

I laughed. "And your reward is dancing?

"Well, partly," he smirked. "The real reward is holding you in my arms all night in a public place."

"I love you, Edward, but sometimes you are a little strange," I giggled. "Only you could get excited about that."

"Oh, I don't know," he shrugged. "Carlisle seemed disappointed that he hadn't come up with the idea when I told him about it."

"Men," I sighed but was secretly delighted at the prospect of going out with Edward. I wasn't much of a dancer, but that never mattered when I was in Edward's arms.

I went all out and got all dolled up for my night with Edward on the town. Esme helped me curl my hair and my midnight blue dress was revealing in all the right places. The look in Edward's eyes when he saw me was my own reward for putting up with Rosalie on the hunting trip.

He took me to a jazz club and he wasn't kidding when he said he would be holding me in his arms all night. I didn't know where he had learned it, but Edward was an amazing dancer. And somehow he made me feel like I was pretty decent too. Pretty clever, my husband. And possessive. Being forced to listen to all the minds of the people surrounding us, he had to endure stray thoughts about me, too. And if there was one thing my husband didn't like, it was when strangers thought about me inappropriately. I would laugh at him, but I liked his possessiveness.

The music engulfed us and Edward held me close while we danced, humming softly in my ear along to the music. I wrapped my arms around his neck, getting lost in the music and him. I loved how the fact that in a packed room filled with humans and their pulsating blood, Edward's scent was the one that drew me in and held me completely captive.

"I love you, you know," Edward whispered in my ear, tightening his hold on me.

"Mmm," I sighed. "I know."

"Do you also know that I love you so much that forever isn't long enough to be with you?" he asked and pulled back his head to look into my eyes. His own eyes held so much sincerity that my unnecessary breath hitched in my throat.

"I do know that," I told him. "Even if I had any doubt, your eyes will always tell me the truth."

He smiled crookedly.

"Now tell me what my eyes tell you," I asked him.

His eyes searched mine, his smile widening. "Your amazingly beautiful eyes tell me that I am the luckiest man in the world because you trust your heart with me."

"They must be telling you more than that," I smiled. Even as we talked we still twirled around, effortlessly holding our own on the dance floor due to Edward's expertise.

"They tell me that you love me as much as I love you," he said seriously to which I nodded. "And that baffles me," he added.

"I can't understand why, but I know it's an Edward thing. All part of your charm," I giggled. "You're also cute even when you're baffled."

"I'll give you cute," he playfully growled and dipped me dangerously low. I laughed and he twirled me around before pressing me close to him again. His lips briefly touched my earlobe, his touch sending white-hot flames through my body and I leaned into him, needing to feel him as much as possible.

We danced all night. When the club closed we continued dancing in the moonlight next to a small lake deep in the forest. The water licking against the pebbles on the bank providing us with all the music we needed. The water glistened like liquid silver and the light breeze wrapped around us as just as we wrapped around each other.

Not having to care about conventions and public opinion, I wrapped my hands in Edward's hair as his hands explored my body. Our lips met in their own dance, each of us fighting for the lead.

It was predestined how the night ended. As the first weak signs of dawn appeared in the east, we made love in the soft grass on the upper bank. Our bodies were entwined and our souls united by the love we shared.

When the sun rose we walked home hand in hand through the forest. Where the sun beams made it through the green canopies, it's light sparkled off our skin. My feet were bare and Edward had chuckling woven my hair with buttercups. I looked at Edward as we walked and I was sure the smile on his face was much brighter than the rising sun. His shirt was unbuttoned and his jacket was flung over his shoulder. His eyes met mine and his smile humiliated the sun even more.

"I changed my mind," he said to me before we reached the house. "Your eyes can't possibly tell me that you love me as much as I love you. After all, it is my only ambition to love you. I focus all my energy at it, so I must be loving you the most."

I giggled at his silliness. "All that proves is that women are better at multitasking."


	23. Don't Get Me Wrong

A massive thanks to hidinginyoureyes, lumierediva, Hayleey, Sherry80, Mysterious Angel-05, jadesabre75, aerobee82, Twilighterheart, marisa holguin, FatalAttractions, sweetness4683 and gabby871 for the wonderful reviews! :) And don't worry - everybody's favourite teddy bear will be joining his new family shortly. Promise!

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

**23**

**Don't Get Me Wrong**

I was in my favorite pose, sitting on the floor with my arms around my knees and my head resting against the couch behind me. Edward was playing the piano and I was simply drifting on whatever cloud of haunting tones he was producing. He had been composing most of the night and I could tell that the result would be breathtaking.

We were alone in the living room. Esme and Carlisle were out hunting and Rosalie was distancing herself as usual. As my thoughts centered on my sister I lifted my shield allowing Edward into my mind. He knew how much it bothered me that Rosalie hadn't taken to any of us no matter how much we all tried to open our arms to her.

Edward chuckled and my head whipped up to stare at him. How could he possibly find this funny? He just winked at me, no doubt trying to dazzle me.

"Rosalie? Do you have a moment?" he called out, knowing that she was upstairs and would hear him easily even if he hadn't stopped playing.

"What are you doing?" I mouthed but he just smiled widely.

"What?" Rosalie asked sourly from the top of the stairs.

"Please come down and have a seat," Edward said. "I promise I won't keep you long."

Rosalie looked like she had a whole line of inappropriate answers ready, but she didn't say anything as she sat down on the couch behind me. Annoyance was polluting her beautiful features, though.

Edward started playing again. The melody flowing from the piano was hauntingly beautiful but with so much determination in it that the pieces suddenly fit together in my head. The melody was Rosalie. I shielded my mind, not wanting to interrupt the moment that was happening between Rosalie and Edward.

I could see it on her face that she had also figured it out. She was staring at Edward and he looked up for a moment and nodded to her, no doubt answering a question she had asked in her thoughts. He kept playing and I kept watching Rosalie who had the most emotional and vulnerable expression on her face that I had ever seen. There was no doubt in my mind that she would have been crying if she had been able to produce tears.

Once the final notes of Edward's composition had been played silence engulfed the house. Then a loud sob erupted from Rosalie's throat and she buried her face in her hands. I was on the couch with my arms around her within a second. She sobbed into my shoulder and I raised my gaze to meet Edward's. He was smiling, but there was a tinge of sadness in his eyes.

Finally Rosalie looked up, first at me then at Edward. She opened her mouth several times to say something, but nothing came out.

"You don't have to say anything, Rose," Edward said softly.

"But I do," Rosalie whispered. "I need to say so much and I don't know where to start. You have all been so wonderful to me and even after my horrible behavior you go and compose something like _that_, Edward. I know my heart is dead and all, but I swear it's breaking right now."

"Don't forget that I see beneath the surface, Rose," Edward reminded her. "We all see your beauty and we all experience the bitterness you harbor at this excuse of a life. But I actually get to see the hurt and the heart ache and the _beauty_ that is beneath all that."

"You do know that we all love you, don't you?" I asked her.

She nodded. "But I don't understand why."

I smiled. "Edward might have an advantage when it comes to your mind, but that doesn't mean that the rest of us don't get glimpses as well. Sometimes you let your guard down a little and that's when we get to see that you're as beautiful on the inside as you are on the outside."

Rosalie didn't say anything, but she took my hand and squeezed it.

"May I suggest something?" Edward asked, waiting until she nodded. "Let the bitterness rest for a while. Give us a chance to show you that being a vampire doesn't necessarily have to be a bad thing. For me personally it took time before I was able to grasp that and I wasted so much time doing stupid things. Let me help you to avoid that, let _us_ help you. Please."

Rosalie slowly nodded. "I can't promise to be a bucket of sunshine all the time, but I will do my best to be pleasant. Thank you, both of you. And thank you for that beautiful piece of music, Edward."

We both smiled at her and she retreated to the back of the room while Edward started playing my lullaby. I sighed happily as I slid back down onto the floor and let the music wash over me for a while.

"I'm going hunting," Rosalie announced less than an hour later, breezing out the door like a woman possessed. I frowned, wondering if maybe there was something wrong with her brain capacity since she had just promised to at least try to make an effort. She knew Carlisle hated us hunting alone. Edward cleared his throat, not looking up from the music sheets.

Rosalie stopped dead outside the door and groaned. "What the hell was I thinking?" she muttered. "I can't do this overprotective sibling shit." She just stood there for several minutes, not saying anything but sighing every so often. Finally she came back into the house, looking a little sheepish. "Okay, so this is going to be harder than I thought," she sighed. "Will one of you come hunting with me?" She sighed again before tacking on a soft "please".

"I'll go with you," I said, sparing a moment to give Edward a kiss before we left. "And you don't have to say please. Carlisle just wants to play his daddy-card and make sure we're all safe." I offered her a smile. "Besides, I think you owe me some sisterly bonding."

"I'm sure I do," she groaned and I bit my lip in an attempt not to laugh.

We ran through the forest together and I couldn't help but feel grateful that Rosalie seemed to have gone from angry to reluctant. If that wasn't progress I didn't know what to call it. It gave me hope that one day we might be true sisters who could confide in each other and laugh together.

Over the next few months it became obvious that Rosalie was trying to be a bit more pleasant. She had been right in saying that she wouldn't be a bucket of sunshine all the time, in fact she was rarely even smiling, but a lot of the anger disappeared and she made an effort when someone tried to talk to her. She had been shopping with Esme and me a couple of times even though it wasn't my favorite thing in the world, and although she seemed to prefer hunting with me, she had also been out with Carlisle and Esme – even Edward on a few occasions.

She still freaked out sometimes, though.

"Could you please stop being so nauseatingly _cute_ for just one minute?!" she shrieked one day after witnessing Esme and Carlisle slow dance while getting lost in each other's eyes while Edward played the piano. "God, is there nowhere to go without being assaulted by sappy romance and everyone making dough eyes at each other?"

"I'm sorry, Rose," Esme said quietly, dropping her arms from Carlisle's shoulders. Edward stubbornly continued to play, though.

Rosalie groaned, dropping her head into her hands. "I'm doing it again," she muttered. "Why the hell didn't you just leave me on that freaking street to die, Carlisle?"

"Is that really what you wish I had done?" Carlisle questioned sadly, guilt blazing from his golden eyes.

"Yes," Rosalie said, still not looking up. "No…I don't know."

"Oh honey, don't think like that. Please," Esme begged her, going into full mother mood, kneeling in front of Rosalie and hugging her. Rosalie resisted at first but nothing stopped Esme when she was on top of her game, so it took less than a minute for Rosalie to break down, dry sobbing into Esme's shoulder. "I should have died that night," she sobbed.

"You don't actually think that, Rose," Edward said gently. "Not really."

"God, can't you just for once stay the hell out of my head," Rosalie moaned, removing herself from Esme's embrace and looking a little embarrassed. She fixed her hair even though she had no reason to – I had never seen her look anything but perfect.

"I can't just turn my power off," Edward said. "If you think it, I will hear it. That's just the way it is."

"Freaking mind reader," Rosalie muttered angrily under her breath.

Edward sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Trust me, I often wish my power was less invasive too, but there's nothing I can do about it."

"Except having the missus shield us whenever _you_ want a little piece and quiet," Rosalie sniped.

I growled. "That's not fair. You know you only have to ask if you want me to shield you for a while. I can't go around and shield everyone all the time, but I would never say no if you asked me. In fact, thinking about it, I seem to recall several occasions where I have offered to do it, but you refused. So take me up on my offer before you bitch and moan."

"Oh, to be _gifted_," Rosalie sneered, finally making her well rehearsed exit by running upstairs and slamming the door to her room.

"What a happy family," Edward said sarcastically.

Esme went over to hug Carlisle whose beautiful features wore a rather dejected expression. "Whatever you say, I will never apologize or regret saving you, Rosalie," he said softly, knowing she would hear him. "I am glad I did it and I hope you will be too someday."

"So do I," came the soft reply from upstairs.

***

My face was turned towards the sky. I was on the ground in a small clearing in the forest, watching as tiny flakes of snow slowly drifted down from the clouds above. I loved the beauty and purity of snow and watching it fall was a good way to pass time. I was once again out hunting with Rosalie who was going through a phase as a picky eater. I giggled softly. My blonde sister suddenly only wanted to feed from bears. She wouldn't tell anyone why and Edward who knew from reading her thoughts said nothing in an attempt to show that he respected his family's privacy.

I couldn't help but smile when my thoughts went to Edward. It still baffled me to no end that he loved me just as much as I loved him and just yesterday Rosalie had yelled at us for being lovesick teenagers in heat. Edward had laughingly agreed with her which had shut her up effectively. I had felt the need to add that she acted as much like a teenager as we did, with her yelling, slamming doors and throwing fits when things didn't go according to her mind. We had had a bit of a screaming match scaring Carlisle out of the house mumbling something about wishing we were toddlers.

When it stopped snowing, I sat back up. I sensed Rosalie a little up the mountain and wondered exasperated how long it could take a vampire to take down a bear. That was when I heard the screams and smelled the blood.


	24. Down In Flames

Huh. And here I thought everybody's favourite vampire was Edward. And then it turns out to be Emmett! LOL Anyways - thank you to sweetness4683, lumierediva, jadesabre75, Hayleey, Mysterious Angel-05, FatalAttractions, Twilighterheart, Whitelight72, Sadie1787, hidinginyoureyes, aerobee82, Sherry80, misspink775, marisa holguin and SaraCGeorgeBob for all the wonderful comments and reviews. You guys are simply amazing! :)

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

**24**

**Down In Flames**

Vampires did not freeze, but it did take me a second before snapping out of it and running as fast as I could towards what I knew was a bleeding human. My feet barely touched the thin layer of snow on the ground as the trees zoomed by me faster than a human mind could even comprehend. The screams got louder and louder, and the smell of human blood assaulted my senses. I was not worried about myself; the many years of working at hospitals had made me all but immune to it. But Rosalie…

In her two years as a vampire Rosalie had never been exposed to human blood. She had shown remarkable resistance when she was around humans in town, but there was a world of difference when blood was actually exposed. I knew few vampires could control themselves then.

I stopped abruptly when I reached my destination and took in the scene before me in less than a second. Rosalie sat on the ground next to a dead grizzly. Next to her, half cradled in her lap, was a large man who apparently had had a nasty run-in with the grizzly. His abdomen was slashed open and he had defensive wounds all over. His broken body was oozing blood and to my utter amazement Rosalie just sat there, mumbling reassurances to the man.

Rosalie looked up when she sensed me there. The look in her eyes was desperate. "Bella…" she whispered hoarsely. "We have to get him to Carlisle. We have to save him. He can't die."

I walked closer and kneeled next to my sister and the dying man. I quickly looked him over, noting that his eyes were open, staring at the beauty that was Rosalie. I was sure he thought he was looking at an angel. "Rosalie," I said gently. "I'm sorry, but there's no way he will survive the trip. We're at least two hundred miles from home and he has already lost too much blood."

"He can't die," Rosalie stubbornly repeated. "He can't."

"Why?" I asked, subtly reminding Rosalie of her own conviction that Carlisle should have left her to die when it had so obviously been her time.

Rosalie looked at me, not trying to hide that she knew exactly what I meant. "I can't explain," she said miserably. "I just know that he has to be saved. Please, Bella. Help me carry him back to Carlisle."

"He barely has minutes left," I said. "And even if we could bring him home, there would be nothing for Carlisle to do, except…change him. Is that what you want, Rosalie?"

Rosalie looked down at the man in her lap. I did the same and took in his features for the first time. He had striking blue eyes that were slowly closing. The grimace he wore from the pain showed a dimple in each cheek. His hair was dark and curly and he was obviously a big man, probably taller than Carlisle and Edward, and definitely a lot more muscular.

"He cannot die," Rosalie stated suddenly with a stronger voice than before. "Please Bella, can you… Can you change him for me? I don't think I'd be able to…stop."

I took a deep breath. I had no idea if I would be able to stop either once I had tasted his blood. My resistance was as good as Carlisle's, I knew that much, and he had been able to stop when he had bitten Edward and Esme. I looked at the man, then at Rosalie – and I knew I had to do it. The intensity in Rosalie's eyes reminded me of myself when Edward had been dying in the hospital in Chicago.

"You're sure?" I asked Rosalie who nodded fiercely. I looked at the man and mumbled a soft "sorry" before biting down on his neck. I barely registered the whimper that erupted from him when a new pain shot through his body. The taste was like nothing I could have ever imagined, and for a moment I was completely lost in my own senses. Then I remembered who I was, and thinking of Edward I let go of the man and flung myself into the forest again, needing a breath of fresh air that was not polluted by the smell of blood.

I ran as fast as I could for a few minutes before I stopped. Leaning against a tree I took several deep breaths and allowed myself to think about what I had just done. I hoped it had been the right thing to do. I hoped it would be as right for Rosalie as it had been for myself and Carlisle when Edward and Esme had been changed. I slowly jogged back to Rosalie and we began the trip back home with the semi-conscious man who alternated between whimpering and screaming.

Edward and Carlisle met us a few miles from the house. They didn't ask any questions, Edward having read Rosalie's thoughts before actually seeing us. In the house Esme had made up a bed in an extra room and the man was placed there. Carlisle stayed him while Rosalie reluctantly let Esme lead her to her room to change her bloody clothes.

Edward followed me outside. Without saying anything he took me in his arms. It was twilight and it was snowing again. I inhaled his familiar but intoxicating smell, letting his comforting presence wash over me in gentle waves.

"Are you all right?" he finally asked.

I nodded. "Yeah. It's just…" I hesitated, trying to find the right words. "I don't think I have ever been so frightened before. I didn't know if I would be able to stop. And the taste…oh, it was like nothing else in the world. I wish I had never tasted it because now I _know_ the taste and I will probably want it even more than before."

"You're strong though, love" Edward said, weaving his hands through my hair with one hand and holding me close with the other. It did wonders on relieving the stress in my body. "You will be fine. And I think you did the right thing for Rosalie. Her thoughts…in the two years she has been with us I have never experienced her so hopeful before."

***

It was Rosalie and Carlisle that gave the new vampire "The Talk". It was what Edward had named the less than pleasant job of telling some poor soul that he or she had become a mythical creature that would live forever drinking the blood of living creatures.

They also took him hunting while Esme, Edward and I waited in the house. I was nervous, feeling an enormous burden on my shoulders because I had been the one to actually bite him. I had been part of the decisions to change Edward and Esme too, but I had never imagined how much the guilt would be multiplied when you were the one to physically damn another being to an eternity of bloodlust.

Suddenly Edward laughed. I looked at him, as did Esme.

"Sorry," he chuckled. "It's just…our new vampire has a really entertaining mind. He's genuinely annoyed that Rosalie killed the grizzly that attacked him because he had been looking forward to tracking it down himself."

"Oh my," Esme tried not to laugh. "I would think he wanted to stay away from bears for a while."

"Not at all," Edward laughed. "Carlisle suggested that he started out with a deer today for his first kill, but when he learned that Rosalie only goes after grizzlies these days, that's what he wanted too. He's taken down two."

"What does he think about…" I hesitated. "I mean, is he angry at m…us for changing him into a vampire?"

"Not at all," Edward assured me. "He keeps thinking about how great it is to have superpowers. He's also quite taken with Rosalie."

I exhaled unnecessarily. Across from me Esme beamed and Edward chuckled again, seemingly not only entertained by the new interesting mind outside, but also Esme's.

"His name is Emmett, by the way," Edward said.

***

Emmett was like a tornado. He was a bright-eyed child in a candy shop testing out his new vampire powers by uprooting half the forest surrounding the house, chasing grizzlies and wrestling with an all too willing Edward, laughing loudly every time they clashed making it sound like a never ending thunder storm.

Everything that I had expected him to be apprehensive about he automatically loved. His favorite thing was the strength. He had been a hunter as a human, so part of the vampire existence came very naturally to him. The thirst made him shrug his shoulders and claim that he had been just as bad when it came to food. And then he laughed. Emmett's laugh was booming and infectious and loud. And we all loved hearing it. It was such a relief knowing that Rosalie and I had made the right decision that day on the mountain.

There was one aspect of being a vampire he didn't like though.

"I look like a girl," he whined the first time he was out in the sunlight and saw his skin sparkle. "I'd much rather have the sunlight burn me," he grumbled. "Pain I can handle. Sparkling glitter stuff, not so much."

However, he stopped grumbling when he saw Rosalie sparkling in the sunshine. I didn't need Edward's power to know what he was thinking then.

Emmett also made Edward laugh a lot and I loved him for it. Edward's laugh was like a drug to me. Edward and everything about him had a much stronger pull on me than blood had, but his carefree laugh was one of my favorite things about him, and I loved anything that brought it out. - Hence Emmett being an absolute favorite of mine.

"So I won't ever get any grey hairs?" Emmett asked me one day. We were alone on the porch and Emmett was in full question mode. He had asked hundreds of unusual questions that I had never heard before from neither Edward, Esme or Rosalie when they had first joined the vampire world. His mind was indeed interesting, as Edward had said.

"No, Emmett," I said suppressing a giggle. "No grey hairs for you."

"What would happen if I ate a steak for instance? Would it kill me?"

"I thought you had figured out by now that you're pretty much indestructible," I replied. "A steak won't finish you off either. It wouldn't even taste good, probably like dirt or something. There are times when we are forced to eat human food to keep up the charade, but unfortunately it has to…come back up again later."

"Bummer," Emmett sighed. "I used to love steaks."

"How many grizzlies do you think you have killed since you became a vampire?" he asked.

I had to laugh then. "Emmett, I have been a vampire for sixty-five years. I honestly don't know. Are you going to keep score of how many _you_ kill?"

He laughed. "Only if you do too. I'm sure I could beat you."

That was when Carlisle came home from the hospital. He joined Emmett and me on the porch with a content smile on his face. "It sure is nice to come home to one's family after a hard day's work," he grinned.

"Awe, we missed you too, daddy," I giggled, avoiding his hand that reached out to ruffle my hair easily.

"Hey Carlisle, do you know how many grizzlies you have killed since you became a vampire?" Emmett asked him.

"Ehm…no, I'm afraid I don't Emmett…"


	25. Diet

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**25**

**Diet**

"Hey Bella, why is it that human blood doesn't smell the same as animal blood?" Emmett asked me. We were hunting and had just minutes before come across the scent of a human in the forest. Emmett had been distracted but I had been able to keep him from charging after the unsuspecting human. It was a good thing, too because Edward was a little further up the mountain hunting his favorite, mountain lion, and I would never have been able to restrain Emmett physically alone. Rosalie was up on the mountain somewhere, too.

"I don't know, Em."

"I thought you and Carlisle knew everything," he complained playfully.

"Far from it," I laughed. "In fact, I think I should be the one to ask the questions today."

"What the hell would I know that you don't?" he wondered out loud.

"Well, you seem to have a very vivid memory of all things edible," I said, and it was true. Often Emmett would complain about how he missed the taste of a good steak or apple pie. "Can you describe to me how milk tastes? I can't remember what anything tastes like."

Emmett thought for a moment. "It just tastes like…milk."

I rolled my eyes and he laughed. "Okay, okay. I can do better. I think. It's kind of…smooth, velvet-like and tastes really fresh and…well, milk-ish."

I laughed again. "Until the 'milk-ish' part you could have been describing Edward."

Emmett scrunched up his face. "How on earth is Edward…wait, I don't want to know. Ugh, in need of some serious mental scrubbing here."

"Do I want to know the reason for your thoughts about me right now, Emmett?" Edward asked as he leisurely strolled into the clearing where Emmett and I had had our little food talk.

"It's all Bella's fault. She wanted to know what milk tastes like," Emmett pouted. I was still laughing and Edward looked at me with raised eyebrows not able to make the connection. He silently offered me his hand and I took it.

"What about strawberries, then?" I asked, turning my attention to Emmett.

Emmett looked at me. "Are you going to compare my description to Edward somehow?"

I shook my head, trying not to giggle. Next to me Edward suddenly laughed, no doubt having picked up the punch line from Emmett's mind.

"Okay then. Strawberries taste like…um…well, they're all sweet and fruity and um… You know, this is really difficult. No, wait," he suddenly grinned at me making me slightly nervous. "If milk tastes like Edward, then I bet strawberries taste like Rosalie."

"Aaww," I giggled, noticing a smiling Rosalie a few yards away. "That's sweet, Em. Slightly disturbing, but sweet nonetheless."

***

"Come on you big girl, at least put up a fight! This is freaking boring!"

I was laughing so hard that I had to hold onto a tree for support. Edward was leaning against the same tree with his arms folded across his chest, also laughing. The most amazing this was that Rosalie was laughing as loudly and as freely as us. And although it was difficult to tear my attention away from the amusing scene in front of me, I couldn't help but be amazed at the change in Rosalie. She was always breathtakingly beautiful but when she laughed and smiled as genuinely as right now then there was simply no beauty on earth that could compare. Well, there was Edward, of course…

"Oh for God's sake," Emmett complained and demanded my attention again. "Why are all bears so mind-blowing stupid?"

My funny and adorable brother gave the bear in front of him another jab, making it growl furiously. Emmett growled back at it and we all laughed again.

"Emmett, it's not polite to play with your food," Edward chuckled.

"Yeah yeah, tell it to someone who cares," Emmett dismissed him. "I just want a good fight and we all know that you don't fight fair and this stupid sissy of a grizzly doesn't fight at all. Argh!" He finally lunged at it, taking it down and draining it. When he had disposed of the carcass, he turned to us with a wide smile. "Ah, don't you just love grizzlies?"

Hunting with Emmett was never boring. One day he had seen a patch of blueberry bushes and gotten so curious that he had tasted one. His whole face had twisted up in revulsion and he had spit it back out, hopping around like it had burned his mouth.

"That is just disgusting! Who eats those?!"

"Bears," Edward replied calmly.

Emmett looked terrified. "Do you think the berries somehow get mixed up in the bloodstream?"

"Yes, Emmett," Edward said seriously. "It is just a matter of time before you get blueberry poisoning. It is fatal for vampires."

"Oh man," Emmett wined until he noticed the giggles erupting from Rosalie and myself. Edward was shaking his head fighting his own grin. "You guys suck," Emmett complained but smiled when he saw that Rosalie was still giggling.

When we returned back to the house after hunting later that night, Carlisle and Esme were waiting for us.

"Aw, they're waiting up for us," Emmett chuckled. "Did we meet the curfew?"

"Do you think you need a curfew, Emmett?" Carlisle laughed to which Emmett shook his head furiously. "Please have a seat, Esme and I would like to discuss something with you."

"Oh ooh, we're in trouble, guys," Emmett muttered.

I looked at Edward for some kind of clue as to what they wanted to talk to us about, but my darling husband only smiled crookedly and sat down on the couch, patting the seat next to him. I just wanted to stick my tongue out at him.

"How about a change of continent? Just for a few years, at least," Carlisle suggested. "I have been thinking that it would be nice with a change of scenery and I will admit that the British Isles are kind of calling my name. I haven't been back in years."

"Do they have bears in Britain?" Emmett immediately wanted to know and we all laughed. "What?" he shrugged innocently. "It's a valid question. I happen to care about my diet." That just made us laugh even harder.

"I'd like to study history somewhere in Europe," I admitted.

"I suppose being cooped up one place is as good as another," Rosalie shrugged. Although she had shown amazing restraint on previous occasions, she still didn't go near humans much. I had a feeling that it was more than just about principles for her; she seemed terrified of slipping up and losing control around humans. Maybe it had to do with the past that she never spoke of.

"I was thinking that we might go to Ireland," Carlisle said. "It's not exactly the sunniest place in the world."

And it really wasn't. It was overcast, rainy and simply amazing. Ireland was beautiful and Carlisle had been right; it was nice with a change. Our new house was located south of Dublin near a quaint little town called Bray. Miles and miles of forest stretched out outside our windows and the calming sound of the ocean nearby was ever-present.

"But there are no grizzlies," Emmett complained.

"Or mountain lions," Edward sighed wistfully.

"I promise we won't stay more than a few years," Carlisle promised but I couldn't really find it in me to be unhappy with our new home. There were plenty of deer and I liked studying Irish history at Trinity College in Dublin. Edward was studying philosophy which in Emmett's opinion made him a pansy, meaning that their wrestling matches doubled and there were reports in the local newspapers about a lot of unexplained thunder. Carlisle rose to the occasion and had a nice talk with them. Rosalie and I found some common ground laughing at them.

***

"Um… Bella?" Rosalie stood on the doorstep, nervously twirling a strand of hair around her finger. "Are you busy?"

"No," I replied. "I'm just rereading _Wuthering Heights_ for the eighty-second time. The thrill kind of went out of it after the first fifteen times, but I keep picking it up from time to time to read. I'm not sure why… But anyway, it can wait. Do you need to go hunting?"

She shook her head and found a new lock of hair to twirl. It was a little unnerving to watch. "Can I talk to you for a minute?" she asked.

"Sure," I said, trying to disguise my surprise and padded the bed I was currently perched on. "Have a seat."

She sat cross-legged at the bottom of the bed while I rested my back against the headboard waiting for her to reveal what her sudden desire to talk was about. "I know it isn't fair to suddenly play the sister card after all the crap I've given you, but I don't know who else to talk to," she said.

"It's okay, Rose," I assured her. "Whatever you need, I'm here."

"I'm not very good at confiding in someone," she said softly after a few seconds. "And I guess you're wondering why I suddenly need to do it now."

"I have an idea about your timing, but go ahead," I smiled, suddenly seeing some pieces fall into place in my head. "You can trust me."

She laughed a little. "It's not so much about trust. Heck, Edward knows anyway. It's more about…intimacy, I guess. About willingly sharing something that I'm not completely sure I want anyone to know about. Yet…at the same time I can't keep it inside any longer."

"Your feelings for Emmett," I stated, biting my lip to hide a smile when her head whipped up faster than I had ever seen before. Had she been human she would probably have snapped her own neck with that impressive move.

"How… Oh great, Edward told you, didn't he? Freaking mind reader. He really need to learn to…" she ranted before I interrupted her.

"Edward didn't tell me anything. In fact, he never tells me anything about what you are all thinking. He respects your privacy," I said. "Okay, we might spy a little on Carlisle when he thinks he's safely at work, but I'm sure if he is thinking something private, then Edward wouldn't tell me."

Rosalie seemed appeased with this. "But how did you know then? Am I that transparent?"

"I'll be honest with you, Rose," I said. "To those of us who knew you before Emmett came along, then yeh…you are a little transparent. You must be able to see it yourself? You're smiling, you're happy, you're spending time with the rest of the family. Okay, I take it back. You're not a little transparent, you're actually very transparent."

"Oh God," she groaned.

I laughed a little. "It's a good thing, Rose. We all want to see you happy."

"Yes, but…" she hesitated, biting her lip. "What if he doesn't… I mean… I'll have to tell him about, you know, what happened to me. I'm damaged, Bella."

The look on her face broke my heart and I reached forward to take her hand. "You are not damaged, Rosalie. You were a victim of something horrible, but you were saved by someone who thought enough of you to want you in his family. And you had your revenge – you made everything you could right again. That makes you strong, not damaged."

"Thank you Bella," she whispered. "Do you… do you think he might love me"?

"Based on the way he looks at you I'd say there's a good chance that he does," I told her. There was always a certain amount of softness in Emmett's eyes whenever he looked at Rosalie which led me to assume that he wasn't just admiring her obvious beauty but actually felt something more for her. "Do you love him?"

She nodded. "I think I loved him from the second I saw him. There was something about him that reminded of…" she took a deep breath. "The night I was…attacked I was walking home from my friend Vera's house. She had a little boy with the cutest dark curls and bright blue eyes. I adored him, Bella. There was nothing I wanted more than my own child. Nothing. That is why I have been so bitter. Emmett reminded me of Vera's little boy that day on the mountain and I think that was why I was so persistent in having you save him. If I couldn't have a little boy of my own, then I wanted Emmett. But it's so much more than that now, I promise you. Being around him makes me happy. Happy, Bella! I never thought I would be happy again…"

Just then a thunderous clash sounded from the forest outside and we both laughed. It sounded like Edward and Emmett were having fun. Rosalie looked a little relieved when the tension disappeared. I squeezed her hand once more before letting it to. "I think all you need is to reach out," I whispered, not wanting Edward and Emmett who were now nearing the house to hear. "You reached out to me today and you got yourself a sister. Try reaching out to Emmett."

Rosalie smiled, no beamed. Then determination shone from her eyes and she nodded. "I will. Thank you, Bella."


	26. Do Not Attack

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**26**

**Do Not Attack**

Rosalie took my sisterly advice and soon Edward was complaining and begging me to shield him from her and Emmett's romance filled minds. He claimed that it had been bad when they had kept their love for each other secret, but it was just ten times worse now that they had admitted it to each other. He would scowl, hiss and growl at them when it got too bad, but when Rosalie laughed, smiled and looked ridiculously happy he would soften up immediately. We all remembered what she had been like before Emmett and however annoying it was for Edward, she deserved her happiness.

"There are 2.564.981 leaves on that tree," Emmett stated confidently. He was lying on the ground with his arms behind his head and his feet propped up on a large rock. He had been staring at the same tree for a while now and now we all knew why.

"I know," Edward sighed. "I had to listen to you count. Highlight of my day, Em."

"It's not my fault that Rosie is taking forever," Emmett complained. "I get easily bored and because I counted those leaves you now know something you didn't know two minutes ago."

"We didn't need to know it, though," Edward said. "We would have blissfully happy not knowing the number of leaves on that tree. I would rather know why it takes so agonizingly long to catch a deer and drain it for blood. What is she doing, giving it a manicure?"

"Well hell, you're the mind reader. Can't you find out what she's doing?" Emmett demanded.

"I am doing everything in my power to stay out of her mind these days," Edward admitted, looking pointedly at Emmett. "Something about a certain _event_ that I am not supposed to know about."

"Oh, that," Emmett grinned.

"What event?" I asked.

"Ask Emmett," Edward said.

Emmett beamed. "Well, it just so happens that…" he hesitated and frowned. "I'm not really supposed to tell. Rosie will be mad."

I sighed, looking from Emmett to Edward. "Great. Keep your little secrets. I'll go find Rose, maybe even catch her a deer so we can get out of here. I don't really want to know the number of leaves on any more trees."

Leaving the boys to their secrets I ran north, trailing after Rosalie's distinct scent. She was always peculiar when it came to hunting. At first she had hated it because she might get her clothes or hair dirty. Then she had her grizzly phase, followed immediately by a mountain lion phase, and now she had gotten into her head that no one could see her take down her prey – that it ruined her concentration having someone close by.

When I finally reached my blonde sister she was not hunting. She stood directly in a beam of sunlight that had found it's way down through the canopies with her face raised towards the light. She was smiling softly and her white sundress gave her an angelic look. It was a breathtaking sight and I wished I could capture it for prosperity.

"Rose?"

She looked at me when she heard my voice, smile still in place. "It's beautiful here, isn't it?" she said softly.

I nodded, briefly wondering if everyone had gone mad or if it was just me who had become the world's most clueless vampire. "Yes, it is. Are you okay?"

"I'm perfect," she sighed. "Bella… Emmett asked me to marry him." She giggled a little. "I swear, he was just completely adorable when he got down on one knee mumbling about how he didn't know anything about vampire proposals."

I suppressed a giggle at Emmett's expense and went over to hug my sister. "Congratulations, Rose! You have no idea how happy I am for you and Emmett. Didn't I tell you once that true love would find you?"

Seriousness flickered on Rosalie's face and she nodded. "Yes, you did. And Bella, I want you to know that…"

Before Rosalie could continue, Edward and Emmett barreled through the trees. My eyes met Edward's and they looked frantic. Before I could ask, he was by my side, wrapping me into a tight embrace. "There are other vampires about a mile and a half south of here. They…they know you. They are thinking about you."

Knowing that the only other vampires apart from my family who knew who I was were the Volturi, I grimaced. Ever since their first visit when Carlisle and Esme had been on their honeymoon I had known they would be back someday. I had just chosen not to think about, focusing on other, more pleasant, things.

"It's the Volturi," I said. "They came for me once, wanting me to join their guard. I'm sure they're here to ask me again. Edward…" I hesitated, lacing my fingers through his. "They might know about your power too, like they knew about mine. They will want you too."

"Everything will be fine, love," Edward said softly even though he had no idea what he was talking about.

"How do we deal with this?" Emmett wanted to know. "Do we fight them?"

"I hope not. I really hope not," I replied. "How close are they?"

"Still about a mile and a half away," Edward said. "They seem undecided about how to approach us."

"I hate this," I sighed, rubbing my forehead in frustration. I desperately wished I was alone like the last time because I didn't want my family anywhere near the Volturi. "Okay, listen. I am going to shield you from their powers, only if it comes to a fight, I don't know if my concentration will hold. But I will do my best. And…I'm really sorry that you have to get involved in this."

"Don't be silly, Bella," Emmett protested. "We can take them!"

"Em, please," I begged. "No attacking them first. We defend ourselves and each other but we do not under any circumstances attack. They have the power to destroy us all."

"We won't," Rosalie stated firmly, giving Emmett a look so pointed that I fought off the urge to smile.

"They're coming," Edward whispered, staring into the trees towards the south where he knew they were coming from. Pretty soon I could sense them as well. I tugged at Edward's hand and mouthed _how many_ to him. He held up two fingers for us all to see, then pointed to the distance and held up five fingers. So seven in total; meaning that we were outnumbered if it came down to a fight. Great.

Edward and I stood close together, fingers intertwined. Rosalie and Emmett stood next to me and I extended my shield to cover us all. I wasted a thought wondering whether or not it was a coincidence that the Volturi now for the second time showed up at a time where Carlisle wasn't around. Last time he had been on his honeymoon and this time he was in London with Esme. For someone who claimed to be his friend, Aro seemed to be avoiding him.

Once again it was Aro and Jane who came out from between the trees. They were wearing the same kind of grey cloaks as the last time and their sugary sweet smiles were in place too. I was disgusted.

"My dear Isabella," Aro cried enthusiastically like we were old friends.

Edward tensed beside me and I had to force the tight, polite smile onto my lips. "Hello Aro. Jane. What brings you to the green isle?"

"Well," Aro smiled and leaned forward as if he was about to share a secret. "We heard that you were here and decided to come say hello. It's what old friends do, after all."

I squeezed out another tense smile and nodded. I had no idea how they could know that we were here, because we had not come across any vampires since coming to Europe. Edward had picked up a faint trail in Dublin one day just after we arrived, but nothing since.

"So, who are your friends, my dear?" Aro asked. "I must say that I was amazed the first time I met Carlisle and saw his golden eyes. I was equally amazed when I met you and now there are three more. Remarkable, don't you think, Jane?"

The little Jane just grimaced and clutched Aro's cloak in her tiny hand.

I knew I had to introduce them to him. There was simply no way out of it without being rude and risking a fight that we could not afford to engage in. "This is my husband, Edward," I said gesturing to him. "And this is Rosalie and Emmett, also part of Carlisle's family." I suppressed a sigh. He probably already knew this since he knew that we were here, but I hated confirming it.

Aro offered his hand to Edward who shook it. The smile faded from Aro's face and for a fraction of a second he glared at me before bringing the overly enthusiastic smile back onto his facial features. "Edward, it's a pleasure to meet you. I hear great things about you."

"Likewise," Edward said curtly.

Aro turned to Rosalie, widening his eyes as if not seeing her before now. "My my, what beauty you possess, dear," he praised her as he shook her hand, once again coming up short of any insight into one of our minds due to my shield. "Would give our dear Heidi a run for her money, wouldn't you say, Jane pet?"

"Yes, Master," Jane replied dutifully.

"Hm, yes," Aro seemed to wonder out loud as I saw Edward cringing out of the corner of my eye. Rosalie looked amazingly unbothered and I had never loved her arrogance more.

Emmett, however, looked more than mildly pissed off about the way Rosalie was being looked over as a piece of meat. "Howdy, I'm Emmett," he interrupted Aro's inner musings.

I bit my lip from laughing as Aro's head whipped up and looked at Emmett who now had a protective arm wrapped around Rosalie. He looked pretty intimidating, I noticed. I was so used to his hilarious lack of mental filter, his ever present need to make jokes and his sweet and caring ways that I had almost forgotten that he was by far the largest and strongest vampire I had ever come across.

"Hello Emmett," Aro greeted my brother and shook his hand. The enthusiastic smile was completely gone from his face and it looked like he had to shake himself out of some kind of funk before he looked back at me.

"So my dear Isabella, tell me how my old friend Carlisle is doing these days," he said, smile back in place. "He must be pleased with his coven expanding."

"He enjoys his family, yes," I said stiffly. "He is very happy."

"Wonderful," he enthused, and I cringed as he started clapping his hands like an excited child.

Exactly one second before I registered that Jane was attempting to penetrate my shield with her vicious little power, Edward suddenly let go of my hand and grabbed Emmett's arm behind my back. Rosalie held onto Emmett's other arm and I saw Jane and Emmett locked in a stare contest which was probably what had set Emmett off.

"Em, please," I begged and after a second he relaxed.

"Jane pet," Aro cooed. "Were you being a naughty girl?"

"But Master, you said I could try," she pouted.

"Well yes, but we really should be polite and ask first," Aro scolded.

I managed to fight of the hysterical giggles that threatened to bubble up through my throat. If I ever doubted it before, I now knew for sure: They were insane. Being polite and asking before attacking someone with an excruciatingly painful power? Sweet merciful…

"I apologize," Aro said not sounding like he meant it. "Jane gets so easily excited."

Emmett mumbled something under his breath, but Rosalie elbowed him and made him keep quiet.

Aro cleared his throat. "I am sure you can guess why we are here, Isabella," his smile getting faker and faker as the seconds ticked by.

I nodded. "Yes, and while I am flattered, my answer remains the same. I am very happy with my family."

"You are all welcome to join us," Aro assured. "I am sure we could find a nice position for you all." His eyes strayed to Edward who took it upon himself to answer.

"Thank you, but I am sure I speak for us all, when I say that our answer is the same as Isabella's," he said politely and Rosalie and Emmett nodded.

Aro's face remained expressionless for a minute and I felt Edward tense beside me. I knew there was a possibility that our refusal to join the Volturi guard would result in a fight but I hoped we could somehow avoid it.

"We just wish to live in peace," I said, hoping to diffuse the threat that I was sure that we posed in Aro's mind. A coven of six was large by vampire standards and with our special way of living I suspected that Aro was afraid that we would somehow get too powerful.

"Ah, yes. Of course," Aro nodded. Edward relaxed a little beside me and I was grateful for his power. I didn't need to know what Aro was thinking, reading Edward's body language was enough.

"Well, we will be off again then, won't we, Jane pet," Aro said. "You will allow us to ask you again in the future?"

I smiled, knowing that we couldn't stop them. "Yes, but I am sure our answer will remain the same."

Aro smiled too. "All the same… We shall see each other again. Please give my best to Carlisle."

I nodded. Aro and Jane turned and disappeared between the trees but not before Jane had glared at us and tried her power one more time. I suppressed a laugh at her expense.

We were all silent, watching Edward for some sort of sign of when we were safe to talk. I offered him my acceleration power and it took almost half an hour before he let out a breath and looked at us. "They're gone."

"Okay, they were completely creepy," Rosalie stated.

"Do we even want to know what was going on in their heads?" Emmett asked.

Edward ran a hand through his hair. "He wasn't kidding. They want all of us. Bella for her powers since she is the strongest shield they have come across and it's unique to have more than one power. They also want me for my power although I have no idea how they know about it."

"They also just knew about my powers," I said.

"Aro seemed to find Emmett useful as a fighter and Rose…it's just plain disturbing what they want you for. Apparently this Heidi he compared you to uses her beauty to lure unsuspecting humans into sheer bloodbaths. The little one, Jane, was thinking about it when Aro mentioned Heidi."

Rosalie shuddered and Emmett tightened his arm around her. "Well, tough. Because they're not getting any of us."

I sighed, now they had even more reason to come back. Edward, although unable to read my thoughts, confirmed it. "They will be back someday," he said.


	27. What If

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Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

**27**

**What If**

"What if he has changed his mind and doesn't want to marry me?"

I sighed. Rosalie was doing her best to go through every single _what if_ scenario anyone had ever thought of and my patience was staring to wear out. "Emmett hasn't changed his mind," I assured her. "He has literally been counting the minutes. Just ask Edward."

"But what if he doesn't really love me? What if he just thinks he does because the rest of you are paired off and he thinks that's the way…"

"Rose! Emmett loves you. Anyone with eyes can see it and anyone with ears can hear it."

"What if he gets sick of me?" Rosalie fiddled with the stunning white lace creation that was her wedding dress. "Bella, you can't know if he might not want me in ten years. Or twenty years. Or hell, even hundred years. Forever is a damn long time."

"Rosalie Cullen, stop fiddling with your dress! You'll wear a whole in it and then what will you do, huh?" I scolded her. "And as for Emmett getting sick of you – no way. He is going to follow you like a puppy for the rest of eternity. Trust me."

"But what if…"

"_What if_ you take a deep breath and remember the look on Emmett's face when he tells you that he loves you?" I suggested. "What does that tell you?"

She bit her lip and sighed softly. "He loves me. He loves me more than I could ever have dreamed that it was possible to love someone else. He loves me just as much as I love him."

"Bingo. Now I do believe that you have a groom waiting for you downstairs, who is going to remember what it is like to have a beating heart when he sees you. You look absolutely breathtaking, Rose."

"Thank you, Bella," Rosalie said, finally beaming and radiating the happiness she was supposed to.

I stood next to Edward as Rosalie and Emmett exchanged their vows, promising each other their forever. He squeezed my hand and when I looked up at him I knew that his thoughts strayed to our own wedding too. He mouthed _mine_ to me and I replied _yours. _

I laughed as Emmett dipped Rosalie and kissed her a little too enthusiastically. The beaming smiles on their faces touched us all. I couldn't think of anyone who deserved happiness more than Rosalie and she couldn't have chosen anyone better than Emmett who brought out the best in her with his refreshing honesty and never ending optimism. He absolutely adored her and would sometimes look at her with so much awe that he might burst. I was eternally grateful for having the strength not to kill him that day on the mountain.

"Who would have thought we would ever see our beloved Rose this happy?" Carlisle whispered to me as he came to stand next to me.

I smiled up at him. "You always believed she would be happy. You wouldn't have saved her if you didn't."

"Believed, hoped…I don't know, honey. Sometimes I wonder if we should be tampering with fate and maybe it's all down to luck and coincidence that we haven't messed up too badly," he said.

I squeezed his arm. "Look at Rosalie and Emmett and tell me about luck and coincidences again. Look at Esme and Edward and tell me again that we tamper with fate. You don't believe that for a second. If fate had something else planned for any of them, then they wouldn't have shown up in our path."

Carlisle smiled. "Do you know that you were the one who made me believe in fate?"

"Of course I was," I grinned. "Our meeting couldn't have been anything _but_ fate."

***

"Do you ever think about what it would have been like if you hadn't been in that hospital in Chicago when I got sick?" Edward asked as he watched me get dressed. We had spent the night making love in the forest, enjoying our time alone as even the moon had deserted us, giving way to clouds and rain to drizzle on us all night. I felt wonderfully refreshed but Edward's question made me freeze. – Literally feel cold as I thought about a life without the beautiful angel gazing up at me with the most expressive eyes I had ever seen.

I looked into his eyes, seeing genuine curiosity and feeling something inside of me break. "No," I breathed, unable to add any sound to the word. "I can't think about that. I can't think about being without you. It hurts too much." I took a deep breath, cupping his cheek and feeling strength spreading inside of me just by touching him. "I know – logically – that I wouldn't know what I was missing out on if we hadn't met. But it hurts too much thinking about it anyway. – Hurts thinking about you dead. I can handle anything except being without you."

"I'm sorry, love," he said softly, locking me in a tight embrace. "I guess Rose's little what-if tirade got me thinking more than I realized. It's just…you could have been absolutely anywhere in the world when I got sick. You could have been anywhere else in the world than exactly where you were the day you were changed in Texas. Just one little thing would have had to be done differently and we would never have met."

I buried my face in his chest, hugging him even closer. "The only way I can deal with thoughts like that is acknowledging how much we owe fate."

"I would be missing you even if I was dead and rotting in the ground," he sighed. "Isabella, you are my everything. I literally speak the truth when I say that I would not exist if it wasn't for you."

"Yours," I whispered. "And no more talking about stupid what ifs."

"Mine," he breathed, kissing the top of my head. He didn't say anything else and I did my best to banish all thoughts of being without Edward from my head. Knowing him, he would no doubt over-think all the what ifs Rosalie had managed to come up with in the days before her wedding. There had probably been even more in her head than she had bugged me with and my darling husband was forced to listen to it all.

I had no desire to explore thoughts about the sorry excuse of an existence that would have been my reality if I hadn't been in that hospital when the flu hit. – Or if I hadn't met Carlisle in New York. I also didn't want to think about never finding Esme or Carlisle never finding Rosalie.

- And Emmett…loud hilarious sweet Emmett who completed our family and melted our Ice Queen. I shared a special bond with him, like Carlisle did with Edward, Esme and Rosalie. I had never given it much thought before, but because I had been the one to change Emmett's fate, I felt extra responsible for him. Every single time he had shown faint difficulties adjusting to being a vampire I had struggled with my conscience. But I knew - now more than ever – that I had made the right choice. – Both for him and Rosalie.

We were almost back at the house when Edward spoke again, clearly unable to let the what-if thoughts go. "What if I hadn't come back?" he asked.

I stopped dead in my tracks and stared at him. I didn't understand his need to talk about it. I hated the hint of anger bubbling in my throat and I did my best to suppress it. "I would be miserable," I said flatly. "Is that what you need to hear, Edward? You really should just tell me when you need your ego stroked. A dutiful wife can do that without bringing up an ugly past."

"I don't _need_ to hear it," Edward said frustrated. "In fact, I would prefer not hearing it all together. But you can't tell me that you don't think about it sometimes."

"I only think about it when you or someone else brings it up," I replied truthfully. "I don't need to torture myself with thoughts of you being gone when I have you right next to me. God, do you have any idea what those years did to me, Edward? I would be an ungrateful idiot if my priority wasn't to treasure the present instead of worrying about the past. We can't change it, so why waste time trying?"

"We should learn from our mistakes," he pointed out. "And that means learning from the past."

"Thank you," I said sarcastically, suppressing the hysterical laughter threatening to escape me. "I spent years trying to figure out what I had done wrong and I came up short. But I would _love_ for you to point out my mistakes so I can learn from them. Until you do that, I'm going with what I believe in and that's fate."

"It's always fate with you," Edward said irritated.

"Maybe I do put too much stock in fate, but if you had seen what I have seen, then you would too," I sighed. "And I really don't want to fight with you, so I'm going to get out of here before I say something I regret. I'll see you later."

It took me less than a minute to run into the house and change my clothes and when I ran back out, Edward still stood where I had left him. I wanted nothing more than to run into his arms, but I forced myself to leave. I had to cool down and think about what we had said to each other.

I couldn't go to class in Dublin because the sun was threatening to break free of the clouds and expose me for what I was, so I lost myself in the forest where it took me very little time to realize that I had just displayed my double standards in the worst way. I was right now doing the exact opposite of treasuring the present by running off because I was upset about Edward bringing up the past.

I took my anger at myself out on a couple of defenseless trees and told myself that I was being an idiot. Then I trailed back in the same direction from which I had come only to run almost smack into Edward. I cursed at myself internally and wondered where I could get my so-called superior vampire senses checked out because they were obviously not working at the moment.

"I don't want to argue with you," he said softly.

"Yeah, I came to the same conclusion," I sighed. "I just really don't want to waste my forever with you thinking about a time where we miserable and apart from each other. But I also know you, Edward, and I should have realized that Rose's freak out session had brought out the over-thinking part of you. I'm sorry. I promise that I will talk about it with you if you want to."

"I don't want to," he replied, reaching for my hand and intertwining our fingers. "And I'm sorry too, love. You're right when you say it's a waste of time, because it _really _is. It's just…when Rose was freaking out, she only had to look into Emmett's eyes and everything came together in her head. I know that feeling because that's what you do to me and that scares me sometimes because I don't know what I would do without you."

"Edward," I closed my eyes fighting off the pain in my chest. "You never have to find out because you're not getting rid of me. If you ever decide to run again, then I'm running after you. And yes, you're faster than me, but I'm stubborn, so don't think I won't find you."

"I'm counting on that," he smiled. "But I'm not going anywhere." He pulled me into his arms and held me close as the world righted itself again. "Yours," he whispered.

I smiled. "Mine."

***

"What if we move back soon?" Carlisle asked one night when he joined us in the living room. Edward and Esme were playing chess and I had been perfectly content just to stare at the perfection that was my husband while I shielded Esme's mind so he couldn't cheat.

"Alaska," Esme blurted out. "I have always wanted to go to Alaska, but I never had the chance. Can we move there?"

"I second that," Edward said and winked at me. "There's a lot of snow in Alaska and I really like snow."

Esme giggled, no doubt knowing enough to have her suspicions about his little snow fascination. Carlisle looked like someone who just missed the punch line of a joke and I tried desperately to hold back my laughter. I wasn't going to disagree, though. I liked snow too.

"Okay, I'm sure I just missed something, but Alaska it is then," Carlisle sighed since no one wanted to let him in on the joke.

Edward's eyes sparkled as he looked at me. "Ready for snow adventures, love?"


	28. Boys Will Be Boys

My apologies. I know there were problems with the chapter yesterday. I still don't know why, though.  
Big thanks to lumierediva, tygerkatt, gabby871, cptnsassypants, sweetness4683, aerobee82, marisa holguin, Sherry80, Writing For Whitlock and 1dreamkeeper for the reviews! :)

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

**28**

**Boys Will Be Boys**

"Could you _please_ keep it down?" Edward growled as another high pitched giggle floated down through the ceiling. Rosalie and Emmett had recently joined us in Alaska after their extended honeymoon on Isle Esme and they were once again wearing on Edward's nerves. If I was brutally honest, then they were wearing on everyone's nerves, but especially Edward since he was forced to listen to their thoughts too.

I rose from my position on the floor and went over to my frustrated husband who was sitting at the piano having a staring contest with the keys. I stood behind him and put my arms around his neck, resting my chin on his shoulder while I extended my shield to cover him too. He let out an exaggerated breath of relief and I smiled and kissed the side of his neck.

"Thank you, love," he sighed.

"Anytime," I promised him.

He relaxed against me and I tightened my hold on him as I trailed kisses up his neck to his jaw and cheek. "Will you play my lullaby?"

"For you, Isabella Cullen, I will do anything," he said, craning his neck and flashing me that deliciously crooked smile of his.

"Hey, that's not fair!" Emmett complained from the top of the stairs. "Why is it okay for you to be so disgustingly cute when Rosie and I can't…well, do what we do?"

"I was not being _disgustingly cute_," Edward argued. "I was merely stating a fact."

"Fact my ass," Emmett grumbled.

"Emmett, language," Esme begged him as she breezed into the house. "Please."

I bit my lip when Emmett bowed his head. "Sorry, mom." Edward wasn't so nice though as he threw his head back and laughed that wonderful carefree laugh of his at which Emmett growled.

"Come on," I said to Edward and kissed his cheek. I held out my hand to him. "Let's get out of here before war breaks out."

"Why is it that we're always the ones who leave the house?" Edward complained, but took my hand nonetheless, letting me drag him out of the door. "We have to listen to Rose and Em in the house _all_ the time. They should be forced to listen to us too."

"Because, dear darling husband of mine," I smiled. "If there's one thing that Alaska is full of, it's snow. And there's no snow inside the house."

A beaming smile slowly spread on his beautiful face and I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. Honestly… As much as I loved him, he was as predictable as all other males in the universe. I squealed when he picked me up, threw me over his shoulder and started running into the thick forest.

"You can stop and put me down now," I said ten minutes later. And he did. Literally. "Holy… Was that a medical experiment to see if vampires can get whiplash?"

He grinned. "Just doing what I was told by my beautiful wife. And no, I already know that we can't."

"If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were drunk," I said, shaking my head at him. I turned my back at him, slowly unbuttoning my shirt while I walked towards a little clearing I could see in the distance.

"Bella?" He called behind me, shuffling his feet a little. "Love?"

I couldn't stop the giggle at how worried he sounded. And he heard it of course, and was behind me less than a second later, growling in my ear. "Not nice, Isabella Cullen, not nice. You know I hate it when you're mad at me."

"Good thing I'm not mad at you very often then," I said unbuttoning my last button.

I stopped, turning around so he walked right into me, almost knocking us both over. I giggled again as he caught me, holding me close. When he realized that my shirt was unbuttoned and my lace covered breasts were pressed against his chest, a moan bubbled up through his throat. I put a hand to the back of his neck and pulled his lips down to mine. I moaned into his mouth and ground my hips against his.

"Bella…" Edward moaned breathlessly. His lips ghosted along my cheekbone and down to my jaw before continuing down my throat. I arched against him, and he moaned again against my skin. Then suddenly he froze and a growl erupted from him.

"What?" I whispered.

"Emmett, get the hell out of here!" He growled. He dropped his hands from my body and moved as if to leave, but I held onto him.

"Ignore him," I said.

Edward closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. "It's a little difficult when he's taunting me in that little pea brain of his."

I extended my shield to him and he looked at me with so much relief that I burst out laughing. He gave me a crooked smile before tackling me to the ground and attacking my neck again with the most delicious kisses, darting out his tongue to lick my skin as well.

"Mmmm, you taste absolutely amazing," he sighed into my skin. "The taste of blood has got nothing on you, my love."

I sighed as his lips dipped lower, showering my chest above the bra with kisses. I reached down and rubbed my hand over his erection and he groaned into my skin.

As his lips found my right nipple through the lace of my bra, I felt my shield slipping. I couldn't keep my concentration enough to keep it in place as the lust coursed through my body. I arched my back, pushing my breast against those heavenly lips.

"Edward," I breathed and then he was suddenly gone. I opened my eyes and saw him standing rigid, golden eyes blazing and nostrils flaring.

"Emmett…!" He growled. Without looking at me, he took off, throwing a "sorry, love" over his shoulder before he disappeared between the trees.

I blew out a frustrated breath and closed my eyes for a moment. Damn him. And damn Emmett. I buttoned my shirt and stood up, running a hand through my hair and shook my head when I heard a thunderous clash in the direction Edward had taken off into. I heard Rosalie running towards me from the house and seconds later she broke through the trees and came to a stop right in front of me, not a hair out of place despite her run.

"Yeah, I couldn't hold Em's attention either," she sighed. "Hey, shield my mind for minute, will you? I have been reciting the kings of Britain since I left the house to keep that husband of yours out of my head."

I extended my shield to include her. "What's up?" I asked.

"Men." She blew out a breath. "We need to teach ours a lesson, sis. Any ideas?"

I smiled and shrugged. "Not right now, but I'm sure we'll be able to think of something."

"I was thinking of going to Anchorage one of these days," Rosalie said, a lazy smile settling on her face. "I'm sure if we were to get some new lingerie and then tease them with it for a bout a decade, then they'll think again before leaving us hanging. Stupid boys."

"Excellent idea, Rose," I nodded. "I knew your tenacity would come in handy one day."

"Honey, you ain't seen nothing yet," she drawled. "And while boys will be boys, then girls also _will_ be girls." We both giggled and after yet another clash in the distance we looked at each other and took of running towards the house. If we hurried, we could be in Anchorage before the shops closed.

And as it turned out, our boys really did learn their lesson. Carlisle, however, kept snickering at them for a long time.

***

It was an unusually sunny day in Alaska and I was doing my best human impersonation, sunbathing on the porch. I would not get a tan, but I enjoyed the warmth of the sun against my sparkling skin. My head was in Edwards lap while he was leaning against the railing reading a book from which he had just read me David Mallet's '_William and Margaret_'. It was one of my favorite poems but if I was honest I would have enjoyed Edward reading me the phonebook just as much just because he could make anything sound like divine poetry with that velvety honey-dripping voice of his.

The velvety honey-dripping voice started chuckling all of the sudden and I opened my eyes to look up at him. He wasn't reading, but looking at the house from which Esme emerged seconds later.

"Yes, Esme," he answered whatever question she had asked in her mind.

"Thank you," Esme smiled. "And I am sorry for being silly."

"Nonsense. You are not being silly, just responsible," Edward argued. "Esme and I are going for a quick hunt. Will you join us, love?"

I shook my head. "That would mean moving and I can't do that. I am doing my lazy human impersonation today."

Edward and Esme laughed. Edward leaned down and gave me a kiss. "Of course you are. And you look beautiful doing it. I will be back in a few hours."

I smiled. "Love you."

"Mine," he said, kissing me again.

"Yours. Now go. You are blocking my sun."

With Edward's laugh ringing in my ears he and Esme left. Carlisle had done a lot to stress how he did not like any of us hunting alone. I couldn't help but compare the Carlisle I had met years ago to the Carlisle he was today, and whereas his compassion was the same, he was so much more protective these days. I supposed it was natural, though. To our kind he was the leader of a, by our standards, large coven and to the humans we met, he was the head of a family with four teenagers. He had to be protective.

I frowned when the sun disappeared behind a cloud. As I sat up on the top front step, the scent of an unfamiliar vampire reached me. No, two unfamiliar vampires. "Carlisle," I called softly, knowing he would hear me.

He was by my side in a second, looking down the road winding through the forest that hid our house from the rest of the world. He put a hand on my shoulder as I sensed Emmett and Rosalie behind us. "In which direction did Esme and Edward go?" Carlisle asked just as Rosalie and Emmett joined us on the porch.

"North," I replied. - Away from the forest road, thankfully. But it would have been nice to have Edward here to read the minds of the strangers who had no doubt picked up on our scents too – after all, they lingered all over the area.

The two strange vampires appeared at the bend in the road. A small dark haired female seemed to be pulling a somewhat reluctant tall blonde male by the hand. I saw that the female was smiling widely as she bounced along whereas the male… I gasped.

Carlisle spared me a look. "They have golden eyes," he whispered under his breath, thinking that was because I had gasped out loud.

But that was not the reason for my audible gasp. Not at all. I watched as the blonde male froze, abruptly stopping the female as well as he held her hand. My eyes met his across Esme's front garden and a thousand emotions ran though me at the same time. It was him.


	29. The One You Least Expect

Wow. I seriously need to write more cliffhangers. That was some response. :) Thank you so much to tazzded, jadesabre75, Sashimory, otaku-freak-16, cptnsassypants, teolm9484, hidinginyoureyes, lotusblomsten, Gotta luv the Vamps, tygerkatt, Sadie1787, Whitelight72, michebabyblue, marisa holguin, aerobee82, sweetness4683, Hayleey, Mysterious angel-05, 1dreamkeeper, Starscape91 and Sherry80 for the wonderful reviews and comments!! :)

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

**29**

**The One You Least Expect**

I had never in my wildest imagination thought I would see him again. But it was him, there was absolutely no doubt in my mind. I was looking straight into the – _golden – _eyes of the vampire that changed me. – Changed me and saved me from certain death in the southern territorial wars.

All fear of the strangers left me and I walked down the porch steps ignoring the hissing erupting from my family. The small female seemed to have given up in getting the blonde male to move, and she came skipping towards me, beaming brightly.

"Hi!" she said when we only a few feet apart. "I'm Alice and you're Bella. We are going to be the best of friends!" She launched herself into my arms, hugging me with so much force that she could rival Emmett. In my shocked daze I was thankful that I didn't need to breathe.

Alice finally let me go and turned around. "Come on, Jazzy. I told you, they aren't dangerous." She winked at me and bounced up towards the rest of my family, no doubt to hug the living daylights out of them too. I realized that I was smiling. I had never met such a bundle of energy before.

I heard her greet my family by name just as she had me, but before I could focus on it properly, my gaze locked with his again. He was still impersonating a statue in the middle of the road, and he continued to do so as I walked down toward him. He had more scars than I remembered – or maybe he had gotten them after setting me free. They covered all visible skin but they did nothing to mask his beauty, in fact they seemed to enhance it and give him strength. A small smile found it's way onto his face as I neared and I realized that my own Alice-induced smile had never faltered.

"Hi." There were so many things I wanted to say to him and ask him about, but I had no idea where to start. I figured a 'hi' would not be completely wrong, though. Relief seemed to be floating in the air around us and I wondered why. I had not been aware of how much I was hoping that he was still alive and that I would get to meet him some day.

"Hi," he breathed. "You have no idea how happy I am to see that you are okay. It has been bothering me ever since that I just sent you on your way all alone."

"It didn't take me long to realize that you were saving me," I replied. "And I am really grateful that I have the chance to say this: Thank you." I couldn't help myself, so I gave him a hug. It took him a few moments before he stopped playing statue and returned it, but he finally did.

"You have no idea what you are thanking me for," he sighed, running a hand through his long blonde hair, much like always Edward did.

"Well then," I smiled. "Alice seems to believe that she and I will be friends, so I am assuming that there will be time for you to tell me the whole story at some point."

He nodded seriously.

"Alice seems to know us all, although I have no idea how. But you seemed surprised to see me…" I said, trying to make sense of it.

He half smiled. "Alice is…gifted. She knows things." He didn't elaborate and I let it go, figuring that there would be time for explanations later.

"Come meet my family," I said instead, still smiling. "My name is Bella, by the way."

He ran his hand through his hair again. "Alice has talked about you ever since I met her. I still can't believe that it was you all this time…" He let out a frustrated sigh. "Sorry, manners. I'm Jasper."

"Well, Jasper. It's nice to meet you again," I said.

We walked up to the others who were on the porch, looking at us. Alice was jumping up and down, smiling brightly. "Did you like your surprise, Jazz? I only saw it like a week ago," she sang.

"You knew?" he asked before shaking his head. "Of course you did. Yes, I liked my surprise." He smiled at me before turning his attention to the rest of the party. I quickly introduced them, biting my lip after telling them who Jasper was. Carlisle's eyes widened slightly and Alice continued to jump up and down.

"Well, this might just be the most amazing thing I have experienced in my three hundred years," Carlisle said. "Two pair of golden eyes in one day."

We all looked at Alice when she stopped jumping up and down and blindly stared at Emmett's elbow for a few seconds. Then she was back to her beaming self. "Esme and Edward will be here in fifty-four seconds! Oh, I can't wait to meet them, though Edward is already laughing at me. He's going to do that a lot, but I'll get him back, just wait and see." She giggled a little, looking around at all of us who were a little busy looking baffled.

She was right. I counted the seconds and when I reached fifty-four a smiling Esme and a chuckling Edward sped up through the front yard. Alice, of course, greeted them with hugs as she had the rest of us. Esme just hugged her back, so Edward had obviously filled her in on whatever he had picked up from their minds.

After saying hello to Jasper Edward came to stand by my side. He gave me a crooked smile and kissed my temple but his eyes soon fixed on Alice as she stood giggling and looked back at him. I wondered whatever was going on in her mind. Edward's eyes widened as the two of them obviously shared something. It was kind of fascinating to look at, although frustrating to be out of the loop.

"Oh, this is just brilliant," Rosalie finally grumbled. "Could you be any more rude?"

"I'm sure we could if we tried," Edward chuckled, tearing his gaze away from Alice for a second to acknowledge Rosalie. "But yes, my apologies. I'm just a little in awe here. It's rather amazing to relive your own private memories from the mind of someone you have only just met."

Rosalie huffed, unable to get really angry, but did manage a glare which Edward just returned with a dazzling smile.

"Yes," Alice said suddenly.

We all looked at her and she smiled. "Sorry, Jasper always tells me to wait for the question before I answer, but it's just difficult when I've already seen it and it's a good question. And it saves time too, don't you think?"

I happened to look over at Edward and he was biting his lip hard to avoid laughing. I wondered if Alice's mind was as entertaining as what came out of her mouth.

"She's a smart one, the pixie," Emmett chuckled and was rewarded with a beaming smile from Alice. "But do you mind telling the rest of us which question you were answering?" he asked curiously for all of us.

"Oh, right," she giggled. "Sorry, Carlisle. I didn't mean to steal your thunder. Please, go ahead and ask your question."

Carlisle laughed again. I was sure that Alice already had the power to wrap our fearless leader around her pinkie. "I was curious about your golden eyes. They stand out among our kind," he said.

"Yeah, it took me a while to figure out how you did it," Alice giggled. "Red eyes are really hideous, aren't they? They don't really go well with pink. And I love wearing pink."

"Alice…" Jasper said softly.

She giggled again. "Yes, ahem… Sorry. I saw you guys with golden eyes in my visions and when I figured out why they were golden, I started hunting animals too. That was just before I met Jasper."

"And now you can wear pink," Carlisle added with a smirk.

"Yes!" Alice sighed dramatically. "Finally a man who understands. You could certainly learn a thing or two, Jazzy."

I adored Alice already. She made Edward laugh as much as Emmett did and it was just impossible not to be enthralled by the little giggling ball of energy.

"And let me guess, there's no saying no to the pixie, so you jumped on the wagon as well?" Emmett said, looking at Jasper.

"I…" Jasper started, then hesitated and looked at me. "I am an empath, I feel whatever those around me feel and I can manipulate their feelings too. That means I can feel the terror of my prey when I take it down and… Well, I'll be the first to admit that I'm having great difficulties adjusting to this life style, but it is a big relief only to hunt animals."

"That's why…" I said softly, suddenly understanding. "You said that you _felt_ that I didn't belong there…"

He nodded. "There was such an innocence about you. I just couldn't… I thought you would be better off alone than…"

"I know," I said, smiling gently at him. "I understand. Thank you."

He fidgeted a bit more, but didn't say anything and kept looking down at his feet.

"So how is that you see things?" Emmett asked Alice. He had always been a bit disappointed that he didn't have any powers except for his strength.

Alice shrugged. "I don't know. I just get visions of the future. Sometimes they change and sometimes I don't understand them at first, like when I saw Jasper and all of you for the first time. But I might as well tell you what Jasper had to learn the hard way," she giggled a little. "Never bet against me."

Edward chuckled. "I don't think any of us are brave enough for that."

"Can we stay with you?" Alice asked. "I already saw that you are going to say yes, but Jazzy insisted that it was polite to actually ask the question. He's like that, being all Southern and cute and stuff. But me…I'm afraid I don't know any better. You will all teach me, though. I've seen it."

"Alice…" Jasper groaned, embarrassment rolling of him in waves.

Alice giggled and Carlisle laughed with her. "I think it's safe to say that we would like it very much if you stayed."

"Thank you, thank you, thank you! I promise we won't be any trouble at all," Alice beamed, hugging Carlisle. "See, Jazzy. I told you. I thought you'd learned by now never to bet against me."

"I wasn't betting against you, darlin'. I know better than that," Jasper said, looking down at Alice, love embracing us all for a minute.

"And you should," Alice stated before looking over at Edward and me with a twinkle in her eyes. "So, Bella and Edward…how much do you actually like you room? It has such a wonderful view and there'd be room for the most darling closet for my clothes…"

"Alice…!" Jasper groaned again. Alice fluttered her eyelashes at him while arranging her lips in the cutest little pout and he closed his eyes in surrender while the rest of us laughed.

It seemed the force that was Alice had invaded Cullen territory.


	30. Heart to Heart

Thank you so much to FatalAttractions, jadesabre75, Hayleey, immortalwizardpirateelf-fan, I-luv-Edward-Cullen18, TwilightCharmedFaie, KittenInACup, 1dreamkeeper, Trisha Whitlock, kperscy, Sadie1787, hidinginyoureyes, sweetness4683, aerobee82, Mysterious Angel-05 (LOL Great idea, unfortunately I have the rest of the story planned out) and Bellarella for the wonderful comments and reviews. You guys are amazing! :) For those of you expecting Tanya to show up, I'm afraid I have to disappoint you. Sorry...she's just not going to play a role in this story. Maybe next time. ;)

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

**30**

**Heart to Heart**

"Bella?"

I smiled to myself as I finally heard Jasper's voice. He had been circling the spot where I was lying on my back and gazing at the stars for almost twenty minutes. I was enjoying a rare moment alone as Alice – who we all knew by now was an irresistible force who no one ever uttered the word _no_ to – had roped Edward into going hunting with her and Emmett and Rosalie. I had been in town in an errand for Esme when they left which was the only reason that I could now lose myself in some star gazing. I wondered how Jasper of all people had gotten out of it, though.

"Can I talk to you for a minute?" he asked. I looked up and saw him frowning. "What is so amusing?" he wanted to know.

"Just the way you were scouting out the place," I giggled. "You kind of reminded me of Emmett trying to sneak up on Edward without him noticing, each and every time forgetting about his heightened senses and mind reading power."

Jasper chuckled sheepishly and I patted the ground beside me. "And of course you can talk to me."

He sat down and a comfortable silence engulfed us. I looked at Jasper who sat perfectly still just staring in between the trees. He had definitely stopped reminding me of Emmett. Emmett was _never_ silent.

Finally he turned his head and looked at me. "I feel like I should apologize," he said slowly. "And I keep expecting waves of blame and anger to hit me like a tornado. But they don't…Instead you engulf me in happiness and gratitude whenever I'm near you." He ran his hand through his hair. "It's even more difficult to understand now that I know that instead of ending their lives, you and Carlisle actually saved Edward, Esme, Rosalie and Emmett. I ended your life, Bella. I killed you."

"Yes, technically you did," I admitted. "But I need you to understand that I never blamed you, not even for a second."

"But how could you not?" he asked, frustration emanating from him. "I even sent you off into the world on your own with an overpowering thirst you had no chance of understanding."

"Which saved me from fate that would probably have killed me," I reminded him. "So you have nothing to blame yourself for."

"Bella, are you shielding your real feelings from me somehow?" he asked abruptly in a different tone than before.

"What? No!" I gasped. "Of course I'm not. Why would I even do that?"

"I don't know," he sighed, hanging his head. "I'm sorry for suggesting it."

"Listen for a minute, okay?" I begged. "I am not denying that I was terrified when you sent me away, but I never doubted that you were telling me the truth and that I was better off alone. Never. I will also admit that it was difficult to be alone, but I would do it over a million times. Jasper, you're an empath for heaven's sake. You can feel every ounce of love we all feel for each other. Look me in the eyes and tell me the love that Edward and I share is not worth going through death, loneliness and fear for."

"I can't," he said softly. "Your love is more powerful than anything I have ever felt before."

I smiled. "Then just accept that I _am _happy and grateful."

He nodded thoughtfully before offering me a smile. "It was changing you that got me thinking so much about what I was doing that I eventually left it all behind and went on my own. So I am thankful too." He hesitated and bit his lip as the smile faltered. "I had attempted to change others but I was never able to…stop… I always ended up killing them. And after you I refused to try again. The emotions were too overpowering."

I knew enough about the territorial wars in the south to know that he had been through hell. The scars on his skin bore testament to that. I couldn't even begin to imagine what it had been like to survive something like that, nor how awful it would be to feed on humans and feel their terror as you drained their life force. I was honestly in awe of Jasper for getting through that and still have such tenderness inside which he displayed every time he looked at Alice.

He groaned. "Honestly, Bella. You are killing me here with all your atypical reactions and feelings."

"I'd apologize," I laughed. "But I wouldn't mean it. Just…Embrace this family, Jasper – even though we may be nothing like what you're used to or expect us to be. I promise you that it will be worth it."

"I am not doubting it," he said seriously. "I just can't help but think sometimes that it's too late for me, you know. I've seen so much crap, Bella – hell, I even took part in most of it. These past years with Alice have been heaven, but forever is a long time and I don't know if I can keep a lid on my past for that long. Maybe I'm too corrupted. Maybe I can't overcome my past."

"We have all had to overcome things," I said thoughtfully. "Carlisle had been alone for two hundred and sixty years when I met him and as much as he craved my company, I'm sure there were times where he wished I'd shut the hell up and bugger off. Edward fought his own demons for years and Esme actually _chose_ death just to have Carlisle and I cheat her of it. Rose was killed by the man she was going to marry and Emmett…okay, he had it relatively easy in comparison except for the trauma of sparkling in the sunlight like a girl."

Jasper chuckled. "And you?"

I shrugged, suppressing a shudder. "I guess I dealt with my share when Edward fought his demons. But my point is that you can overcome whatever you need to overcome. Being surrounded by happiness must be a good start and the neat thing about a family is that if you ever need _anything_ everyone will automatically be there for you because they love you."

"I'm not sure I deserve…" Jasper started before I cut him off.

"If you finish that sentence I will be calling you Edward from now on," I warned him. "I swear the two of you have too much in common."

He chuckled. "Thank you, Bella. Seriously. Thank you."

I was amazed at the ease Alice and Jasper were being integrated into our family with. They had only been with us for a short time before I couldn't imagine our family without them.

Esme was positively beaming every second of every day and every night and Carlisle wore the kind of smile that rivaled any new father's. I half expected him to start passing out cigars and I wondered if I should remind him of the fact that Alice and Jasper were _not_ babies.

Alice, of course, had flung herself at us with such force that we at times were still gaping. She got under everyone's skin with her easy, giggling, know-it-all attitude. And she did know everything. She had even confided in me that she had _seen_ mine and Edward's wedding night. Awkward… But her intrusive power bonded her to Edward and it was kind of cute to see them play their mind games together.

Jasper was a lot more hesitant in his approach to us than fire ball Alice. Everyone understood as he had shared a little of his past and it _was_ pretty impossible to follow Alice's act anyway. I was delighted that he and I seemed to share the same bond that I shared with Emmett, and in his own quiet way he just fit right in.

***

Watching Alice and Edward play chess was hilarious. He could read her thoughts and she could see his upcoming moves in her visions. It was a source of never ending entertainment seeing them hover their hands over the pieces trying to outsmart each other's powers.

Emmett wasn't as amused as I was, though. "Okay, it's officially been an hour since any of them last made a move. I'm gonna go hunting before I become the first vampire in history to fall asleep in boredom. You coming, Bella?"

"Sure," I said a little reluctantly. I was very amused watching the chess game, but I did need to hunt soon and between spending time with Edward and our two new residents it had been a while since I had spent any real time with Emmett. "But I get the first bear we come across."

"Yeah, yeah," Emmett chuckled. "But not if I get it first."

"So, how are you liking not being the new kid on the block anymore?" I asked Emmett as we ran through the forest.

"Those two are cool vamps," he laughed. "I mean, holy crap, I never knew _anyone_ could have that much energy – and she's so tiny. One day she'll probably explode or something. And did you know that Jasper's gonna teach us to fight, you know, for real? After Eddie told him about the visits from the Volturi he said that it might come in handy one day."

"Does Carlisle know about that?" I asked.

"Daddy Pacifist is all onboard," Emmett confirmed. "I don't think he likes it, but he's too protective to waste the opportunity."

"It makes sense," I admitted even though I didn't like the thought of fighting anymore than Carlisle did. "And we might as well combine our resources to protect our family if it comes down to it."

"Heck yeah!" Emmett punched the air. "I can't wait! Wrestling Jasper is so much more fun than wrestling the mind reader. Ooh, and wrestling Carlisle will be fun too!"

I laughed. Our boys had a lot of fun wrestling and with their special strengths their matches could go on for hours. Edward had gained experience when he was off fighting demons and he was difficult to beat when he could read his opponent's thoughts. Emmett was all strength and only lost when he became too eager and forgot to think. Jasper was a strategic genius and had decades of experience. In their own little trinity they would make up a lethal army.

I shuddered at the thought. It was fun to see them wrestle for fun, and as much as I was for protecting my family in any way possible, I also hated the idea of anyone of us engaging in real fights.

"You snooze, you lose," Emmett broke into my thoughts with a taunting chuckle.

"What?" I asked.

"Seriously, Bella," he sighed dramatically. "I swear a human with a big, ugly flesh wound could walk right past you and you wouldn't notice when you're off in your little Edwardian daydreams. I was referring to the grizzly past that hill there. You wanted the first one we came across, but when you snooze, you lose. He's all mine."

I shook my head with a smile. "Sure, go ahead. I'll find my own."

He took off with a goofy grin. "And I wasn't daydreaming of Edward!" I shouted after him.

I wandered off on my own, not catching the scent of any grizzlies, but took down a few deer. After a while I caught another scent, though. Edward's. And Alice's and Jasper's. And seconds later they all came sprinting towards me.

"Where's Emmett?" Alice asked urgently.

"Past the hill over there," I replied, pointing. "He went after a grizzly. What's going on?"

She took off again, Jasper hot on her heels. Edward grabbed my hand, dragging me with him. "Alice had a vision of him biting a human. A hunter. We have to stop him."


	31. Closer

The end is near, only one more chapter to go after this one. The story I wanted to tell is just about told and there's nothing worse than a story that continues longer than it should. Once again, a big thank you for the reviews and comments to jadesabre75, Sadie1787, hidinginyoureyes, FatalAttractions, Hayleey, CullenGrl255, aerobee82, tygerkatt, Mysterious Angel-05, sweetness4683 and Twilighterheart!

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

**31**

**Closer**

We were all miserable. Alice was beating herself up because she hadn't been able to stop her vision from happening. I hated myself for not keeping a closer eye on Emmett. Rosalie was yelling and screaming and being downright violent. Emmett was grieving and busy being ashamed while hiding his red eyes. Esme was brokenhearted because she knew exactly what Emmett was going through. Carlisle was stressing out because he was the only one who worried about getting the hell out of Alaska. Edward was going crazy being assaulted by the miserable minds around him. And Jasper hid in the forest unable to stand all the guilt in the house.

We had been too late in stopping Emmett from attacking the hunter in the forest. He had almost drained the man completely when we arrived and Alice and Jasper had had to turn back unable to be close to the fresh human blood. Edward and I had tried to save the man, but it had been much, much too late.

Emmett had been horrified when he had come to his senses. "Oh God, what have I done? I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," he gasped, backing away from us. He kept muttering and Edward went after him while I ran back to Alice and Jasper.

When I reached them, Alice was spaced out and Jasper was holding her hand. When she snapped out of it, she looked at both of us. "We might be in trouble."

"How?" I asked.

"Well, I keep seeing different things, but the hunter definitely wasn't alone. There was someone with him and Emmett scared him off. I can't say for sure if he actually saw anything, though," she said, rubbing her temple and looking more serious than I had ever seen her. "The visions are fussy and undecided, maybe because the man is really scared right now and not really sure what he saw… I don't know."

"We need to find him," Jasper said. "We have to take him down."

"What?" I nearly shrieked. "Are you crazy? We can't just… No. No way."

"We have to, Bella," he insisted. "We can't have someone knowing about us. You know that."

"But…" I bit my lip. "Still, we can't just… Okay, I agree that we have to find the man. But surely we can play it by ear, right? I mean, Edward can come and he can find out if he really knows anything. Maybe we can convince him that it was a bear."

Jasper was wavering, looking off into the distance while he considered my words. I gave Alice a pointed look, trying to get her to help me to convince him. Her eyes glazed over again and a few seconds later she shook her head frustrated. "There are too many alternatives," she complained. "Too many decisions being made and changed. It's all jumbled."

"Okay," I sighed. "Why don't we go find Edward and Emmett? We'll go back to the house and see if Carlisle has any bright ideas. That's usually how we handle the bad stuff anyway, as a family."

Emmett and Edward were already back at the house and while Emmett sulked, Edward told the others what had happened. Rosalie immediately started yelling at Emmett and from there it had escalated into the tension that had eventually chased Jasper out of the house and Edward wanting to do the same. Alice was rocking back and forth on the bottom stair, still not able to make sense of her visions.

"Okay, that's enough for now," Carlisle said, voice firm and calm. He ran his hand through his hair in true Male Cullen Fashion. "Bella, please go out and find Jasper. And shield him from the assault of feelings before you come back."

I nodded and ran out to find Jasper. I should have thought about my stupid shield earlier, but had been too busy hating myself for failing Emmett. When I saw Jasper leaning against a tree I simply held out my hand to him and he took it. And when we came back to the house I shielded both him and Edward as we sat down and waited for Carlisle to take charge.

Carlisle took a deep breath and looked up from the map he had been studying. "Okay, we need to leave as soon as possible. But there are a few things we need to do first. Rosalie honey, you have to stop yelling at Emmett. I'm sure he feels bad enough as it is. Those of you blaming yourself need to stop that too. It's horrible, yes – but it happens. We are always fighting our natural instincts, so I have no doubt that it will happen again. And we will deal with it and overcome it."

He then looked at Alice who was drifting in and out of her daze. "Alice honey, would you be up for an experiment? I know you and Bella haven't tried to combine your powers yet, but perhaps it would be beneficial now."

She nodded and I went to sit beside her on the stairs, holding out my hand for her to take. I looked at Edward and Jasper. "I apologize in advance if my shield slips. I don't know if I can do both at the same time."

They nodded. Alice looked at me. "How does this work?" she asked.

"Just focus on your own power," I said. "And I will be focusing on accelerating it – however that might work."

She nodded again and stared straight ahead while squeezing my hand. Her eyes glazed over and then she gasped. "That…wow…" she looked at me. "All the different outcomes just melted together in one clear vision."

"And?" Carlisle prodded.

"He's not sure exactly what he saw so he hasn't told anyone yet," she replied. "He suspects there's something hinky, though, and he will tell drunken tales at some point."

"Does that mean that we don't have to do any damage control except for leaving?" I asked, briefly glancing at Jasper who had the decency to look a little sheepish.

"Who believes a drunk?" Alice shrugged.

"All right then," Carlisle said. "Start packing. Alexandria in Minnesota is waiting for us."

***

It took some time and effort but we overcame Emmett's slip up. Alice accepted that she couldn't save the world with her visions even though she at least wanted to save her family. I accepted that I wasn't Emmett's mother and remembered that building up a resistance to blood was hard and tedious work. Edward and Esme conspired and finally managed to get Rosalie to stop freaking out. She had been mad and yelling at poor Emmett but she had just been afraid of stooping to the same level as her own killers. Revenge was one thing in her mind, but the thought of ending an innocent life terrified her beyond belief meaning that Emmett's slip up rang a little too close to home for her.

Jasper and I had sat down with Emmett and comforted him the best we could. Jasper shared some horror stories about the many humans he had killed but it was one story in particular that got to both Emmett and I.

"I was hiding behind some trees on an early evening in May," he said softly. "My order was to for once rein my thirst in and bring back someone young who could become part of the newborn army. That was always my order, though, and I failed every single time. I had no restraint whatsoever."

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "She was wearing a white dress and ultimately I think that was what saved her. She looked like an angel in the red decreasing sunlight and who wants to kill an angel? Her blood was sweeter than any other blood I have ever tasted and even as I sunk my teeth into her throat, the goodness in her overshadowed the fear emanating from her. It was surreal."

I understood, then. I was hearing the story of my death.

"We can only ever do our best, Emmett," Jasper continued. "That's what I have learned since Alice and I joined you guys. It just sucks that sometimes our best isn't enough to save who we want to save."

His eyes met mine. "I'm just grateful that out of all the lives I have wasted, Bella's was the one I saved."

"Me too!" Alice sang, dancing in between us, effectively breaking the tension. "Emmett dear, you will be fine," she said to him. "And Rose will be her old self when we come back after our shopping spree. Buckle up, Bella darling, you're coming too. And don't even waste a breath saying no. I have already seen that you're going."

"Alice," I groaned. Jasper chuckled and even Emmett cracked a smile.

"Oh come on," Alice giggled. "It's not like I'm telling you to go spit in that wicked little Jane's face and declare war with the Volturi. Shopping is _fun_."

"Personally I think spitting in Jane's face would be even funnier," I muttered, letting her drag me up from my seat. I looked at Jasper and Emmett and the only thing I found in their eyes was amusement. No sympathy at all. I huffed. "If I don't return from this suicide mission, please tell Edward that I love him."

"You're very dramatic, Bella," Alice mused as she dragged me back to the house. Behind us Jasper and Emmett were laughing now. "We should get you something dramatic to wear too. A bright red dress perhaps… Yes, with black heels. Hm, or maybe a bright yellow…No, no, no, I know. Pink!"

"Help," I muttered.

"No one's gonna help you," Alice said. "The boys will spend the day wrestling and our darling husbands will be good and let Emmett win most of the matches."

"I'll just stay home then," I said. "I think I'd rather wrestle the man who killed me than go shopping with his wife. No offense."

Alice just giggled. "I know you will. But just know that I had a rather interesting vision of Edward's reaction to something you buy today," she sang. "Or well, something that I buy for you. You are going to be a little prudish."

I groaned again. "Just kill me now."

"Gladly," Rosalie interrupted us, apparently still in a mood. "But do you mind telling me why?"

I smiled brightly at my sister. "Hello, I'm Bella. I hate shopping. You have heard of me, right?"

Rosalie laughed and Alice kicked me. "You two are hopeless," Alice stated. "But you are coming with me just as soon as you realize that I know things. I have seen things. One word, Isabella and Rosalie: Honeymoons!"

I looked at Rosalie. "I bet Edward can pick up some things from the evil pixie's mind that she doesn't want broadcast either," I stage whispered.

Alice stomped her foot. "Edward wouldn't do that!"

I snorted. "Who do you think he loves the most?"

Rosalie burst out laughing. "I never thought I'd say this, but I love you two all the way to hell and back. As far as sisters go, you are just top class."

I beamed right along with Alice. "Well, naturally," she giggled. "Now are we going shopping or what?"

"Absolutely," Rosalie sang, throwing an arm around Alice and me. They both looked at me.

I sighed dramatically. "Sure…"

"Yay!" Alice squealed. "Now Rose, you need bright colors – red and pink and purple. And high heeled boots! I know just the right ones. And Bella, we need to find you that blue dress I told you about the other day. Hey, do you think I should get one of those new fashionable hats? I'm not really a hat person, but one has to look right, you know. Ooh, and those darling little sweaters – we should get those too. Do you think they have them in pink?"


	32. High School Never Ends

**A/N: **The final chapter of _The Color of Your Eyes_ is upon us. I would like to thank everyone who has been reading and reviewing – you have all made writing and sharing this story an adventure. The alerts, the comments and the amazing number of hits have made me smile so many times. I hope you have all enjoyed reading the story as I have enjoyed writing it.

For the reviews after the last chapter, thank you to Writing For Whitlock, teolm9484, CullenGrl255, lotusblomsten, FatalAttractions, Mysterious Angel-05, Sadie1787, hidinginyoureyes, Hayleey, sweetness4683, aerobee82, jadesabre75, marisa holguin and Twilighterheart!

I dedicate this chapter especially to omichiri6183 who inspired the first half of it. Thank you for the idea about the crest and the painting – it fit right in. :)

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Twilight.

* * *

**32**

**High School Never Ends**

Breezing through the living room on my way outside, I glanced up at the painting above the mantel. I stopped abruptly and felt incredibly stupid.

"Any way to remedy that?" Carlisle asked behind me. "Every time I look at your painting I am reminded how lucky I am."

I managed a crooked smile. "Yeah. And I should have done it a long time ago. I wonder what Rose and Em have been thinking all this time."

"You are not the only one who has been too preoccupied to notice, honey," he assured me and put his arm around my shoulder. "I think pocket watches and cameos are a little outdated, so I should be looking into that too."

"Well then, Fellow Founder of This Family – we should get on that as soon as possible," I smiled. "But no telling the others. It needs to be a surprise."

Carlisle looked at me like I was crazy. "Have you forgotten about Alice and Edward? I'm sure Alice has already seen it and Edward will pick it up from either her or my mind."

"I'll shield Alice," I said, determined to make the new painting a surprise. "Jasper and I were experimenting the other day and I think I figured out how to put a shield on someone instead of extending my own. In theory anyway. You just keep your thoughts away from Edward. You know, think about Esme a lot. That should keep him out of your head."

Carlisle laughed. "Should be easy enough, then."

"Right. And this is where our conversation ends," I decided.

As it turned out Carlisle was _not_ able to keep Edward out of his mind. I had escaped to the forest one day to work on the new painting of my family thinking I had covered my tracks well, but before I had finished with the details on the first beloved face on the canvas, my darling husband came strolling into the clearing I had claimed as my atelier.

"Guess what I picked up from Carlisle's mind between disturbing images of Esme and recitals of ten year old medical journals?" He said casually.

"No one likes a smartass," I told him, never looking up from my painting. "Besides, a real gentleman would have let him – and me – keep our little secret."

"You should have married a real gentleman, then," Edward shrugged and sat down on my ground and leaned back on his arms, settling his gaze on me. "Because you know I am much too selfish a creature not to seize the opportunity to ogle my beautiful wife while she creates another masterpiece."

I finally looked at him, beaming at me while out-sparkling the sun. I couldn't stop the smile spreading on my face. "Maybe it _is_ a good thing you're here," I admitted.

"Of course it is, love" he nodded modestly.

I giggled. "Well, not that you need your ego inflated any more than it already is, but it was a little difficult to paint you the last time, so having you here to model for me might be a help."

"Why would knowing that I am difficult to paint inflate my ego?" he asked. "It seems to have just the opposite effect actually."

I sighed. "I'll never hear the end of this," I muttered, knowing full well that he could hear me. "It's a little difficult to capture perfection on a canvas."

He looked at me for a long time, face void of expressions. Then he threw his head back and laughed. "I love you, Isabella, but you are delusional. Or maybe you are the first vampire in history to require glasses."

"There's noting wrong with my eyes and I am certainly not delusional," I huffed, "Some doctor you are."

I returned to my painting while he continued to chuckle. After a while it started to annoy me, so to shut him up I lifted my shield from my mind and recalled the moment where our eyes met the first time and the shock that had coursed through my body, leaving me shaken and dizzy. I leafed through my memory to the next time I had seen him, pale, sweaty and resting uneasy in a haze of fever and pain on a narrow hospital cot. The rush I had felt then I now recognized as love, but then I had been confused at what was happening, but I had been aware that I was looking at perfection.

"I wish I remembered what I felt the first time I saw you," he said softly as I continued to add stroke after stroke to the canvas in front of me. "I do however remember loving you from the moment I first opened my eyes as a vampire. Only then I thought I was dead because my heart had stopped beating and I was convinced that you were an angel."

Alice came dancing into the clearing. "_There_ you are," she sang. "I've been looking everywhere for you. Ooh, is that the painting? Can I see?"

"How did you know?" I gasped. "I shielded you!"

"I know you did. I _saw_ you do it – I just didn't know why," she said. "And it worked, too. Except, I had a vision of Emmett and Jasper wrestling in the living room, knocking over Esme's favorite vase by the way, and that's when I saw the new painting on the wall. It's going to be really beautiful. Thank you for painting me in my favorite dress."

I threw my paint brush on the ground and sat down. I looked at a beaming Alice and sighed. "Edward, I know what I want for Christmas," I said.

"What?" he asked curiously, knowing that I usually hated receiving gifts.

"A secret!" I snapped.

Alice giggled. "I know what Edward is getting you for Christmas!"

I growled at her and she danced off, giggling.

Edward came over to sit next to me. He kissed my temple and pulled me into his side. "The pixie's annoying. _I_ don't even know what I'm getting you for Christmas yet."

"We should have popcorn," Emmett said.

We all looked at him and Edward asked the question we all wanted to ask. "Why?"

He shrugged. "It just seems appropriate."

Alice tilted her head and looked at Emmett like she had never seen him before. "Emmett, we're not watching a movie. And more importantly, we don't eat."

"I know," Emmett said. "Still… it just feels like we should have popcorn."

Rosalie sighed. "Shut up, Em – or I'll force feed you popcorn until you choke."

Carlisle cleared his throat, no doubt from an inappropriate laugh. "Right, so as you all know by now – thank you for that by the way, Alice – Bella has been working on a new family painting. The one she made in Rochester before Rosalie joined us meant a lot to all of us and it was a very special day when she revealed it."

"Just remove the cloth," I begged, uncomfortable with his speech making tendencies as I was worried about what my family would think of the painting. "You can give a speech to go with your own _surprise_."

He chuckled, removing the cloth that I had covered the painting with in a sad attempt to make it at least somewhat of a surprise. Alice was apparently unable to keep secrets because I had begged her not to tell anyone about the painting and yet everyone knew. And it wasn't even as if I could stay mad at the beaming little ball of giggling energy.

A wave of oohs and aahs removed the tension in my body and made me laugh. Emmett and Alice started arguing about who looked best in the picture and Rosalie even went out to find a mirror to check if I had captured her beauty correctly. Edward kissed the top of my head while I took in the scene before me, realizing that I loved them all exactly the way they were.

Carlisle then repeated the success from Rochester and handed out wrapped boxes while smiling widely. I wondered if Alice had told everyone about this _surprise_ too.

He had confided in me from the start that he wanted to replace the outdated pocket watch and the cameos. Instead he had had gold wristwatches made, delicate paintings of the Cullen crest on the dials, encased by the numbers. Those were for himself and the boys. Esme, Alice, Rosalie and I received delicate bracelets with gold links linking small, intricate crests and jewels together. Once again there were amethysts for Esme and emeralds for me. The jewels in Rosalie's bracelet were rubies and the ones in Alice's sapphires.

Carlisle seemed pleased that the sparkles in our eyes outshone the jewels. As everyone inspected their gifts, he caught my gaze and smiled. We didn't need words to communicate how much the moment meant to both of us.

"I'm nervous," Emmett stated. "Should I _be_ nervous?"

Edward laughed and padded him on the shoulder. "Depends on whether you're nervous about making new friends, getting good grades or creating a massacre if someone in class gets a paper cut."

"Thanks," Emmett grumbled but brightened up when Rosalie joined us on the porch where we were still waiting for Alice who was probably getting lost in her closet trying to find the perfect outfit for her first day at school. Rosalie shimmied right into Emmett's waiting embrace and giggled when he lowered his mouth to her neck. Jasper was rolling his eyes and I couldn't help but laugh.

Edward smiled at me, lacing his fingers with mine. I got a little lost in his eyes before something pink and bouncy zoomed out from the house and launched itself on Edward's back. Alice had finally joined us.

"Oh dearest of all Edwards, will you tell us what the kids at school think about us? Please?" she asked him.

"No," he chuckled, attempting to throw her off, but she held on surprisingly well.

She became unfocused for the briefest of moments and then she ruffled his hair rather violently. "Yes, you will. I just saw it. And everybody will love my dress."

Edward laughed, fighting off her attack on his hair. "And you do look very lovely."

"Aaww, you're my favorite brother, Edward. Just don't tell Emmett," she giggled.

"Emmett heard that," Emmett boomed behind them and threw an arm around my shoulders at the same time. "Bella, have you noticed that your husband seem to have some kind of pink, pesky bug attached to his back?"

I rolled my eyes but Alice just laughed. "Oops. Sorry, Emmie. You're my favorite too. I have the best brothers in the world."

"_And_ sisters," Rosalie reminded her.

"And sisters," Alice nodded, still fighting to hang onto Edward's back. "They're the best actually."

"I thought your husband was the best," Jasper mock pouted.

"Aw, Jazzy – you are! Am I lucky or what? The best brothers, the best sisters, the best parents _and_ the best husband – I am spoiled. I love you, guys."

"Aaww," we all chorused earning ourselves yet another giggle from Alice.

"I hate to interrupt your little love fest, darlings," Esme called out to us form the door. "But you should probably get going if you don't want to be late on your first day of school."

I sent her a smile. Once again she was overjoyed at the prospect of making cover lunches for us every day now that we were all enrolling in high school. She loved that task so much that I was almost sorry that we wouldn't ever eat them.

Carlisle came out to stand next to her as we were taking off. "I know my own baby boy died a long time ago, but I couldn't have been prouder today than if I had given birth to every single one of our darlings," she said softly to Carlisle. "I feel like a mom."

I caught Jasper's gaze and we shared a smile. I instantly knew he was ready to push that final boundary it was to fully accept that he was now part of a family, not a coven or an army.

He turned back to look at Esme. "That's because you are," he said, adding after a second: "Mom."

**The End**

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**A/N:** Thank you for sharing this journey with me. I have a new story coming out soon – all human this time – so keep an eye out. Until then, come find on Twitter where I am **d_inspiration**.


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